Forgotten Secret
by The Mominator
Summary: No matter how hard you try to suppress them, memories of abuse always find their way to the surface. Chapter 6 is a little nasty. B/A Friendship.
1. November 1970

**Chapter One**

**November 1970**

**A Friday Afternoon**

Miss Feeney is writing math problems on the blackboard. She turns to her class of fourth graders and after she finishes she notices one of her students is looking very pale. She walks over to him and bends down. "Bobby, are you alright?"

He lifts his head. "My stomach hurts."

"Do you feel nauseous?"

"No, it just hurts."

She returns to her desk and writes up a pass. "Here you go. Go see the nurse." As he gets to the classroom door, he holds his stomach and cringes in pain. She turns to her class, "I am going to leave you alone for a moment, however Mister Bryson will be listening." She leaves the room holding Bobby by his shoulder. She gets the attention of Mister Bryson.

A short walk down the hall and they reach the nurses office, "Miss Dilbert?" she says.

She turns immediately, "Yes. Oh what is the matter?"

He is bent over and holding his stomach. He has tears in his eyes. "It hurts!" he screams. She takes a hold of his arm and walks him over to a little cot. She helps him to lie down. "That feels worse," he says as he tries to sit up.

The nurse takes hold of his elbow, he covers his mouth. A moment later with her help he gets to the toilet bowl and vomits, not once but twice. He tries to lie down but the same feeling comes over him and he sits on the cot holding his stomach.

**The Goren Home**

Frances Goren is busily cleaning her kitchen, the phone rings. She wipes off her hands, "Hello."

"_Good morning, this is Miss Dilbert, the nurse from Thomas Jefferson Middle school. May I please speak with Mister or Misses Goren?"_

"This is Misses Goren."

"_Bobby is here with me and he has become ill this morning, he is complaining of severe stomach pain and he started to feel nauseous when he got to my office. He has gotten sick twice since then."_ She pauses. _"Did he complain of any stomach pain this morning?"_

"No he seemed fine."

"_I think it would wise to send him home."_

"I don't drive so I will have to call my husband, hopefully he'll be there within the hour, or maybe I could ask a neighbor." Frances says sounding agitated.

"_Ma'am please calm down. He's not running a fever." _She looks over at the little boy_. "He seems to have………."_ Bobby gets up from the cot once again and makes his way to the toilet bowl.

"Someone will be there soon, I can assure you." Miss Dilbert hears the phone click.

"Bobby I just called your Mom, someone is coming to pick you up to take you home."

**An Hour Later**

Joseph Goren arrives at the school; he makes his way to the entrance and opens the door. He looks up and down the hallway. _Which way?_ A girl is walking down the hall toward him. He waves his hand at her, "Excuse me, which way is the nurses office." She points to the left. "Thank you." The girl continues her journey without speaking a word.

Fifty feet or so he finds the sign for the office, the door is open and he peeks inside. He sees an attractive blonde haired woman sitting at a desk. _Wow, this is the school nurse. They didn't look like that when I went to school_. He clears his throat, "Miss Dilbert_."_

She looks up; past her, he hears a soft moan. He walks past the young woman and sees his nine-year-old son looking very pale. "Hey what happened?"

"I don't know," he says looking at the floor. Joseph sits down next to him on the cot. He looks up at his father and suddenly starts to gag. He gets up off the cot and Joseph follows him into the little bathroom. He holds his sons forehead and rubs his back but no fluid comes out. He stops gagging and stands up.

Joseph turns to Miss Dilbert. "How many times has he done that?"

"He had gotten sick twice when I called your wife and once again soon after this would be the fourth time. I asked your wife if he was feeling ill this morning. She said no. Did he say anything to you?"

"No, nothing."

"If you will sign this you can take him home," Joseph signs the release form and thanks' Miss Dilbert.

The drive from school to the Goren home is a very short ride. As soon as Bobby gets in the house, he starts to gag once again. He runs into the bathroom. His parents follow him upstairs. His throat is starting to get sore and his stomach muscles are hurting. He holds his stomach and he sits down on the floor. His father grabs his hand and pulls him up. He puts his arm around his shoulder and leads him into his bedroom. He changes into his pajamas and gets into bed. He has calmed down and soon after he is asleep.

Bobby sleeps for close to two hours. Still no fever, a severe pain causes him to sit up in bed; once again he starts to gag. "Oh no, not again." He says as he runs into the bathroom. Frances hears him and quickly goes upstairs. "Bobby." She sees her young son once again gagging but no fluid. She feels his forehead and he feels warm. She helps him back to bed and takes his temperature, 98.6

Joseph did not return to work. He is standing at the door. "I'm going to take him to the hospital."

**St. Mary's Hospital **

His stomach is completely empty and he is now dehydrated he is given an IV drip and a very mild sedative. He feels relaxed but he stays awake. "An upper GI series is warranted," says Doctor Cameron.

A nurse walks into his room with a small jug, "Ok young man I need you to drink this, it is supposed to taste like a vanilla milk shake…"

"Suppose to?"

"Yes." She shakes her head, "It doesn't and I don't want to lie to you."

He smiles as she opens up the jug and hands it to him. "Take your time."

He hesitates, "What if I throw up again?"

"Good question, just drink it slowly."

He drinks down the liquid and after an hour, he is taken to an examination room. X-rays are taken to examine his esophagus, stomach, and small intestines. Joseph and Frances walk with him to the examination room; they are ushered out when the x-rays are taken.

Bobby is returned to his room and soon after Doctor Cameron meets up with the Gorens outside his room, "The test results reveal nothing, no ulcers, tumors, hiatal hernia, scarring, blockage, and no abnormalities of the muscular wall of the gastrointestinal tissues."

Joseph and Frances return to his room, Bobby sits up, staring at them. Joseph speaks. "There's nothing wrong." He turns toward his wife, "There's nothing wrong with him, so why is he in so much pain?"

"Why are you looking at me," she retorts. He stands erect and crosses his arms, smirking at her, "Don't you….how dare you blame me for this, Joseph."

Unaware to them Doctor Cameron has entered the room he overhears their conversation and his fixation is on Bobby, he shows no signs of discomfort at the exchange between his parents.

"Then explain the test results," he points at his young son. "There is nothing physically wrong with him," he says sternly.

The doctor clears his throat. They turn their heads. "Perhaps the two of you can finish this conversation outside." He walks between them, "I want to see my patient."

They bow their heads, stand still and quiet. "Any pain, Bobby?"

"No," he swings his legs off the bed. "Can I go home now?"

"No, not yet, I'm determined to find out what happened," he lightly pokes him in the stomach and Bobby laughs. "In there." He checks his watch, "I still have a few hours left to this Friday night."

They hear a slight moan from him, "Bobby," Frances takes his hand.

He bends over and holds his stomach, "It's starting to hurt again." Frances sits on the edge of the bed and holds him. The doctor says, "Bobby would you lie down please." He presses on different parts of his abdomen. Bobby cringes in pain throughout. Cameron orders for a mild sedative. "Tomorrow I will schedule him for a lower GI series.

He wakes up very early the next morning to a young nurse. He looks toward her and then the door. Her smile is very warm, he feels comfortable. "They just went across the street to get a quick bite to eat." She raises up the bed, "Do you feel any pain?"

"My throat hurts a little and my stomach feels sore." He looks to the window, the shade is drawn, he is about to speak when she places a thermometer in his mouth, then takes his pulse. Minutes later she removes the thermometer, "98.6," she jots the temperature down and his pulse rate. He sticks his arm out, she smiles, "Yes blood pressure time."

"Is it night or is it just dark in here?"

She jots down his blood pressure, "It's very early Saturday morning." As she places the chart on the front of the bed, she hears him breathing loudly. She takes a hold of his hand. "Honey what's the matter." She has been witness to quite a few in her career but an anxiety attack from a nine-year-old boy, very unusual. She buzzes for Doctor Cameron. He enters the room, looking confused and upset. "Bobby what's the matter?" he looks to the nurse. "Please lower the bed." He examines the young boy. He reluctantly administers a sedative a few milligrams stronger than the last one. Bobby falls back to sleep soon after, a few hours later he is once again taken to an examination room.

A young man introduces himself, "I'm Doug, and I'm a radiologist. You've seen this liquid before."

"Do I have to drink it?"

"No, I will put this liquid in your colon."

"What, I mean how?"

Doug holds up a tube, Bobby's eyes widen. He starts to tremble, "I know it's not a pleasant thing, Bobby. However, it's the only way. We have to find out why or what is making you sick, now you may feel a little uncomfortable, the barium will cause fullness and pressure in your belly and you're gonna feel like you have to go to the bathroom. But you won't go, try to relax, ok?"

"Ok," he says nodding his head. After the barium coats the lining of the colon and rectum, the x-rays are taken and once again, Joseph and Frances are escorted from the room.

The results of the test were contaminated and Doctor Cameron reluctantly had to reschedule. "I'm sorry but the results were not clear. We will have to repeat them."

"Today?" Frances asks.

"No not today. Tomorrow morning."

**Sunday Afternoon**

Once again Doctor Cameron and his associates look over the x-rays, "Nothing, there isn't anything there." He sets down the x-rays. "Maybe it's emotional, not physical." He sits down at his desk, picks up the phone. "Who are you calling?" asks Nurse Price.

"I'm calling Social services."

Doctor Cameron once again meets up with the Gorens, "Mister and Misses Goren, there are no abnormalities. No signs of abnormal growths, ulcers, polyps, diverticuli, or colon cancer." Joseph sits down Frances remains standing. Cameron exhales, "I have contacted child services, they are sending someone here within the hour…………"

Joseph stands and comes nose to nose with Cameron, "You think we did something to our son?"

Cameron takes a step back, "I don't know Mister Goren, you and your wife have been witness to the tests that I have performed on him, I can not find anything physically wrong with him. I'm sorry but I had to call them."

**Later That Day**

Janet Wilson arrives at the hospital and Doctor Cameron in paged. "Doctor Cameron I'm Janet Wilson, from Social Services."

"It's nice to meet you."

"Tell me what's been happening," she says as the walk side by side down the hall.

"He came in Friday afternoon with severe stomach pain, I have run upper and lower GI series and have found no abnormalities."

"Any sings of physical abuse?"

He shakes his head, "None." Cameron escorts her to the waiting room where they find Frances and Joseph. "Mister and Misses Goren," Cameron says. "This is Janet Wilson from Social Services."

She extends her hand, "Good afternoon."

Joseph steps forward, "Good afternoon?" he questions her. "My wife and I have been up for two days I'm not even sure what day it is."

"I'm sorry for that, I truly am but Doctor Cameron thought it right that I pay a visit to speak with," she looks at a piece of paper. "Robert."

"We call him Bobby," Frances says.

"Then Bobby it is, would you please take me to his room?"

Frances and Joseph lead the way to Bobby's room, "All those arguments you start probably…" Frances grabs his arm, "If you didn't give me anything to be upset about I wouldn't have to question your actions."

"It's your imagination Frannie, just your imagination."

"My imagination," she stops walking. "My ass," Frances mumbles.

Joseph is the first one in the room followed by Frances and then Janet Wilson. She notices the young boy sitting on the bed; his head is turned toward the TV. He turns his head slowly to look at who has walked into the room; the smile on his face is genuine. "The Giants are losing again Dad, I told you to root for the Jets."

Joseph takes a quick look at the TV, "Never, how are you feeling?"

He swings his legs off the bed, "Good."

"No pain at all today?" Frances asks.

He shakes his head, "Can I go home now."

"No not just yet," Joseph says as he holds up his hand. Bobby looks past his parents and sees the stranger. He moves back on the bed, "Oh no, not another doctor."

Joseph turns, "No, she's not a doctor. This is Janet Wilson. She wants to talk to you about," he hesitates.

"About what?" Bobby blurts out.

"Anything, anything you want." She says in a soft voice as she walks closer to his bed.

His parents remain silent and still. He shrugs his shoulders, "Ok," he says shyly. Janet turns to face the Gorens, "If you will excuse us, please."

Reluctantly they leave the room, "Why would he want to talk to a stranger, we're his parents." Frances exclaims as the door closes behind them. "Afraid he'll talk about you, Frannie." Muffled voices are all that is heard.

Throughout their conversation Janet kept her focus on Bobby. He shakes his head slightly and she can see a look of embarrassment on his face. She moves a chair closer to the bed, "Doctor Cameron tells me that you'll probably go home tomorrow, I suppose that you are happy about that."

"Sure, it's getting boring in here."

"Bobby," he ignores her. She pats his hand, "Bobby, what are you thinking about."

"Nothing," he says very unconvincingly. He looks to the door. She turns her head to follow his gaze. "Your parents argue quite often, don't they?"

He shakes his head, "No."

She sits back in the chair, rolling her eyes.

Bobby continues, "They fight," he sits up in the bed, "Sometimes they are really loud." He lowers the volume on the TV. "When I was little I use to hide in this little cubby-hole in the basement."

"Use to?"

"Yeah, I don't fit in there anymore."

She smiles at the boy, "What do you now?"

"I listen," he says firmly. "Most of the time I don't know what they're talking about…I ask my brother, sometimes he tells me but usually he just tells me to shut up or it's none of my business." He moves his head to catch her eye. "But if they are loud enough and I can hear them doesn't that make it my business."

"I would have to agree with you."

"Do they ever get physical?"

"With each other?"

"Well no how about with you or your brother."

"You mean hit us? When they are fighting?"

"Yes that's exactly what I mean."

"No," he says very unconvincingly, "It's usually late and we're supposed to be in bed, but………"

"But what?"

"You can't help but hear them; it scared me when I was little, but not anymore." He says bravely.

**Later That Afternoon**

"His parents seem to be in a love hate relationship, it bothers him but he is not afraid of them. He wants to go home, he tried to make me believe that they have never hit him in anger but you stated before that you saw no signs of continued physical abuse. He seems more embarrassed by their behavior. They snapped at each other in front of me when they were leaving the room and I saw no sign of discomfort on his face. Mind you, I'm going to check them out again, in about a week or so. Pay a surprise visit to their home."

"I heard his parents also; he blamed her for his illness. I watched his demeanor; I saw no sign of discomfort either."

"When I was a kid," Janet says as she and Cameron walk down the hall. "I had this Aunt and Uncle, when the cousins and I were older, they had no children of their own, anyway we would take bets as to when the argument would start. Every holiday without fail, these two would scream at each other. They were married for over forty years."

"Were," Cameron says.

"Yes my Uncle passed away last March. Send him home whatever caused this…………"

Cameron interjects, "Maybe it was physical and it had passed by the time the tests were run, I don't know. I know one thing he hasn't had any pain all day."

Early Monday morning Bobby is released from the hospital. Doctor Cameron and his associates could never pin down exactly what caused nine-year old Robert Gorens' illness.

**TBC**


	2. November 2007

**A/N: I have to come to the present to get back to the past. Does that make sense? Ah, you know what I mean.**

**Chapter Two**

**November 2007**

Eighteen-year-old Mark Allen finds the blood soaked bodies of his parents, Jacob and his wife of twenty years, Stacy.

Jacob Allen worked for the Brooklyn DA's office, the Chief of Detectives sends for his heavy hitters to investigate.

**Gallagher's Steakhouse**

**Manhattan **

"Oh I think I ate too much."

"Does that mean you don't want dessert?"

She smiles, "Of course not, did you see the dessert tray?" She turns her head to the left. "First thing I saw when I came in."

He turns to look at the tray and a cell phone rings. He turns slowly to face his date. She smiles shyly, "Eames….Yes sir." She waves her hand at him, "Paul, do you have something to write with?" He opens his jacket and takes out a pen. She jots down the address on her napkin. "Did you call Goren?" She folds the napkin and places it in her pocket, "I'll be there as soon as possible."

She closes the phone, he shakes his head in disgust, "I should have known that's what happens when you date a cop, Christ can't they ever call anyone else besides you and your partner."

She puts her phone away and stands, "They do. I'm sorr…………"

"Yeah I know," he turns his face away. "I'll see you soon."

"Paul……….." she stands by his side.

He takes her hand, "I'll call you tomorrow. Goodnight Alex."

**Sal's Restaurant**

**Brooklyn New York**

"Bobby I really love this place, it's so comfortable and………" A cell phone rings. She sets down her fork and a heartrending expression crosses her face. He flips open the phone. "Goren….Yes sir," he digs in his pocket for a piece of paper, jots down the address. "I'll be there as soon as possible." He closes the phone. "I'm…."

She holds up her hand, "Don't say it please." He stands and removes his wallet from his breast pocket, leaves money for the bill and cab fare. He leans down and kisses her cheek, stands erect. "Should I even bother calling you tomorrow?"

She exhales, "I wish you would, I understand. I don't like it but I understand." She grabs his hand, "Be careful."

He leans down and kisses her again, "I will, goodnight Vicky."

**The Allen Home**

Detectives Alexandra Eames and her partner Robert Goren arrive within seconds of each other, "So Eames did you get dessert?"

She smacks him on the arm, "Bobby……."

"What?….No not that," he holds the door for her to enter. "Someone's mind is in the gutter." She walks past him, "You went to Gallagher's' for dinner, right? I know how much you love your sweets."

Alex exhales, "Didn't get dessert of any kind." He chuckles as he follows her into the house, "Me either."

They stand in the doorway of the Allen's family room; they glance at the situation and then each other. "The scene has been photographed Detectives, its all yours," says Martin Gruber the crime scene photographer. Bobby nods as he enters first.

Detective Peter Leonard greets them and proceeds to fill them in on the situation, "Jacob and Stacy Allen, their son Mark found them." They walk further into the room. "They have multiple stab wounds and each has been shot, Jacob in the temple, Stacy the chest. It looks as if he shot her then himself." He stays behind while Goren and Eames walk closer to the bodies.

Bobby kneels down next to the lifeless and nude body of Stacy Allen, he points, "Eames, look at all these superficial wounds."

"Next to her left hand," Alex says. "There's a knife," she kneels down to get a better view. "Looks like a common steak knife." Alex turns and notices the same style of knife next to Jacob. "This knife," she points. "It is as the other one, it's covered in blood." She picks up both knives, and then stands. She places the knives in an evidence bag and a CSI tags it.

Bobby continues to examine the body, "Shot in the heart, up close, you can see the powder burns." As he tilts his head to the right he notices a pile of clothes on the other side of the room, a few feet from where she is laying. "Behind you," he motions to his partner. Alex turns as he stands. She picks up the articles of clothing, "No tears, she removed them herself?" She replaces the items and motions for a CSI to tag them. They once again turn their attention to the victims.

Lying on the floor about five feet from his wife is Jacob. "He was sitting in the chair?" Bobby picks up the overturned chair, "His zipper is down and he is exposed." He kneels down next to Jacob turning his head slowly. "He has a bullet wound to his temple and some shallow knife wounds," he stares off into the distance. "All these superficial wounds on them," he glances from Jacob to Stacy. "They have sex," he looks up at his partner. "And then he shoots her and then himself?" He turns his attention to Stacy Allen, "She has more knife wounds than he does."

"Talk about weird." Alex says. "Maybe they were playing some bizarre sex game and it got out of hand."

Bobby expels a long breath, "I have to admit I have never seen or heard of anything like this before." Bobby remarks as he stands.

"Well that's a first." She says, smiling at her partner.

He returns the smile, then he asks Detective Leonard, "Any evidence of an intruder?"

"No, Detective, no sign of a break in," replies Leonard.

Bobby starts to walk away from the bodies, "Where is the son?"

"He's in the kitchen."

"His first name is Mark, right?" Alex inquires.

"Yes," the detective nods. "He's eighteen years old and is currently living in the dorm at Hudson University."

Bobby, with Alex at his side find Mark Allen sitting at the kitchen table with his head down, "Mark, I'm Detective Eames this is Detective Goren." He slowly lifts his head, "We're very sorry about your parents. We need to ask you a few questions."

The young man nods his head slowly. "Mark," Bobby says softly. "Did your parents own a gun?"

"Yes Dad had a few, rifles as well. He never hunted; he liked to shoot targets at the gun club."

"When you arrived were the doors locked?"

"Yes sir, not dead bolted but they were locked. I remember I had trouble finding my key."

Alex asks, "Do you usually visit your parents on the weekend?"

"Yes I do, I called this morning and they were fine. I arrived about seven maybe seven-thirty, oh God I don't believe this. This is a fucking nightmare!"

Mark hears a familiar voice from the doorway, "Excuse me," he says. Alex nods. "Uncle Ivan, Aunt Helen." They embrace and with Mark in the middle, they exit the kitchen.

Bobby slowly walks around the kitchen, he points, "There are two knives missing from this knife rack." He waves over a CSI, "Bag that please."

Goren and Eames spend the next few hours speaking with friends, co-workers and family members.

"Well," Alex says. "It's almost three a.m. I need some sleep."

"Yeah I'm kind of beat myself." He says as he opens the car window.

They arrive at 1PP and she parks the SUV. "Hey Bobby," she calls to him as he opens the door. He turns to face her. "Hey what?"

"Are you actually going to get some sleep?"

"I hope so; I need a couple of hours."

**10 AM **

**The Next Morning**

They receive a report, "No unknown prints on the doors or anywhere else, seems even Uncle Ivan and Aunt Helen's prints are on file." Alex continues to read. "Gees," she exclaims, "the whole family."

"Why?" Bobby asks.

"About two years ago Jacob Allen received some death threats and an intruder broke in and left piles of garbage in the den, on his desk. "His family's prints were taken to eliminate them, two unknown prints were found."

"Let me guess they never found the intruders."

"Your guess is correct." Alex sets down the report. "Maybe we should go back and do some checking on that old crime."

"What was the significance of the garbage?"

Alex once again reads through the file. "Jacob believed that it was do to the fact that he sided against the union, during the last garbage strike. At that time he was a councilman in Greenpoint, Brooklyn."

Bobby leans forward, "I doubt someone who left piles of garbage would then commit such a heinous crime as what occurred in the Allen home."

"I agree with you," Alex sits back in her chair. "So how about we pay another visit to Stacey's parents?"

**The Home Of Justin and Edna Berry**

They weren't able to speak with Stacy's parents yesterday. The elderly couple was very distraught. This morning they are just as upset however after a few questions Goren and Eames agree that they have no imperative information to give concerning their daughter or their son-in-law. They thank them for their time and as Bobby opens the front door, Alex's cell phone rings. "Eames," she says as she walks to their vehicle. She opens the driver side door, "Yes Doctor, thank you. We're on our way."

**Medical Examiners**

Doctor Rodgers relays her findings "Misses Allen has a total of ten knife wounds," she walks between the tables. "He has six. It was of course the bullet that killed them." Rodgers glances at the lifeless bodies, "Tox screen clear, no drugs or alcohol."

Bobby circles the bodies, "What about the knives?"

She opens a folder, "Each knife had blood that belonged to each victim, and their fingerprints are under the blood and over it." She shuffles through some papers, "The two knives match the ones in the knife rack that you discovered in the kitchen. Also," she looks over her notes, "Gun powder residue on his hands."

"Did they have sex?" Bobby asks.

"No, I did find semen on his pants none inside Misses Allen."

Alex says, "It looks like a murder, suicide."

"Ok I can buy that," Bobby scratches the back of his head. "But the knife wounds," he gazes at the Allen's. "They slice each other with knives and this gets them excited."

"To each his own," Alex retorts.

He smiles at his partners' remark, "Doctor." He walks between the two women, "Any old scars on their bodies?"

"No, none. If this was a game," Rodgers closes the folder. "It was the first time they played it." She tosses the file of the table and leaves the room. Bobby and Alex follow her lead and walk toward the exit.

After the door on the elevator closes, Alex says. "Say it, go on say it. You don't believe it was a murder, suicide do you?" He remains silent, he just nods his head.

**The Next Afternoon**

Crime scene reconstructive investigators are positive that Jacob did indeed fire the gun that killed his wife and himself. The gun was aimed at her heart from a distance of less than three feet. There are traces of his wife's blood on his hand and shirt from the blow back of her blood.

Also traces of his own blood are found on his hand and arm. It is consistent with the placement of the weapon to his temple. When he pulled the trigger, he of course fell off the chair and his body and the gun's placement on the floor is consistent with this movement.

It is believed by everyone, except Bobby, that Jacob Allen shot his wife then turned the gun on him self. Over forty-eight hours have passed since the crime; Goren and Eames are not able to uncover any witnesses to the couple's bizarre game or lifestyle. "If it was a game," Bobby says.

**MCS**

"Eames," Ross calls to her as he walks toward her desk. He glances to his left and notices Bobby, sitting in an observation room with piles of paper on the table. He stuffs his hands in his pockets, "I take it your partner is not convinced that what occurred in the Allen home was a murder suicide."

Alex nods, "Captain……."

He holds his hand up, "Convince him, Eames. It's time to move on." He turns and walks back to his office.

Alex exhales then makes her way to join her partner; he looks up when she opens the door. "Ross says it's time to move on Bobby."

"What? Why?" he closes the folder he had open and tosses it across the table.

Alex picks up two pieces of paper and glances over them, "Bobby it was a murder suicide." Alex walks over to the board that has papers and photos of the crime pinned up. "Come on, I'll help you clean this up."

They work in silence taking down the evidence, suddenly a sound is heard, "What was that?" Bobby takes a quick gaze at her.

Alex turns her head away, "It was my stomach, I'm starved."

"Jesus," he says as he removes the last photo. "Forget breakfast again, did we?"

"Yes, I know it's the most important meal of the day."

Bobby places the evidence in a box, "Let's get some lunch, my treat."

**Casey's Pub**

Goren and Eames are a familiar couple to the employees of this Irish Pub. Susan Moore, the hostess, shows them to a table and inquires what they would like to drink. They order ice tea. The waitress, Brenda, returns with their beverages, "You guys ready?"

"Yes," Alex says. "I'll have a chicken salad on rye."

The waitress turns to Bobby, "And for you Detective."

"I'll have….roast beef on a club roll, side order of cole slaw."

"Coming right up." She picks up the menus and puts in their order.

He picks up the glass of tea and a vacant stare comes across his face. Alex has come accustomed to that stare; she tries to lighten up the situation and fails. "So, Bobby," he continues to stare; she calls to him again raising her voice, "Hey Goren."

"What? Huh? Sorry. I was just thinking."

"No shit," Alex takes a sip of tea. "Still brooding about the Allen's?"

"I can't get them out of my mind," he rubs his eyes.

"I know, but it's over," she sits back as the waitress sets down their lunch. "Thank you."

Bobby nods and flashes a smile, "Thank you."

The waitress points to their glasses, "Refills?" They answer yes simultaneously.

He pulls the dish closer, "Something bothers me," he finishes the last of the tea. "I just can't put my finger on it." He shrugs his shoulders, "But I'm sure something will come along to take its place."

The waitress returns with their drinks. They thank her, "Anything else?"

"Not right now Brenda," Bobby answers.

"So," Alex says. "How's Vicky?"

Bobby picks up his sandwich, "Who?"

"Tell me about it."

He responds by asking, "How's Paul?"

She holds up her glass, "Back at ya." They cling their glasses.

They have to laugh at the situation. They keep the conversation light throughout their lunch.

After they finish their meal Bobby gets Brenda's attention, "You guys want anything else."

Bobby asks, "Eames you want anything else?"

"No, I'm good."

"Just the check," Minutes later she returns. "Thank you," he says as he opens his wallet. She proceeds to clear off the table. He hands Brenda money for the tab and her tip. "Thank you Detectives, have a great afternoon."

"Thanks," Alex says.

"We'll try Brenda, thanks," Bobby says.

Alex's cell phone rings. She flips it up, checking the number, "Back to work," she rolls her eyes. "Eames." Bobby watches her as she nods and says yes sir a few times, she wiggles her fingers at him, "Give me a piece of paper." She writes down the address, "Yes sir we'll be right there." She closes the phone hastily and in a huff, she sits back in the chair, "Damnit!"

He frowns, "What's the matter?"

"The same situation," she slams her fist on the table. "Another couple, it's happened to another couple."

"Son of a bitch," Bobby says as he and Alex slide out the booth.

**TBC**


	3. Crime Times Two

**Chapter Three**

**Crime Times Two**

Real estate agent Laura Gavin, 24 arrives at the home of her parents; she has a date for shopping and then dinner with her mother. All seems, as it should, on this Tuesday afternoon.

Their car is in the driveway and the front door is locked. She pushes the buzzer before unlocking the door. She steps inside, calling their names. She unzips her jacket as she walks into the foyer; she calls their names, again. No answer as she walks past the family room she hears, what she believes is the TV. She opens the door to a horrific sight.

Her parents, Timothy and Evelyn are lying on the floor. Her fathers' head is blood-soaked and he has blood spots on his shirt. Lying a few feet from him is her mother; she is naked and facing away from the door. Blood is underneath her chest area. Laura kneels down next to her father to check for a pulse, she cannot find one, before she has a chance to check her mother she hears a moan from her. She removes the quilt that lies on the couch and covers her mothers' body, she dials 911.

Goren and Eames arrive at the home of the Gavin's; she pats him on the back as they look over the scene, no words spoken between the two. Alex enters the room; Bobby remains behind leaning against the door frame. Once again Detective Leonard greets them. "Looks familiar doesn't it? Only this time thank God the wife didn't die."

"Where is she?" Alex asks.

"They took her to Brooklyn General, she has a few knife wounds and a bullet wound to the chest. Their daughter came by to," he checks his notes. "Pick up her mother for a shopping spree and dinner."

Bobby has not only remained quiet he has not moved from the doorway. "Eames, is there something wrong with your partner?"

Alex takes a quick glance at him, he has the look, _definitely, _she thinks. Alex does not answer aloud. Bobby takes a step forward, "That's it." He unzips his leather case. "Son of a bitch, that's it." He shuffles through some photos.

Alex taps his elbow, "You want to let me in on it?"

"The Allen's….it was not a murder suicide and neither is this."

"Right," says Leonard. "Evelyn Gavin is still alive."

Bobby heard the Detective's remark but ignores it, "You see that's what's been bothering me," he walks further into the room and stands over Timothy's body. "Doesn't this look familiar to you?"

Leonard rolls his eyes as he stuffs his hands in his pockets, "Yeah of course it does." He says with a tone of sarcasm. "The Allen's and the Gavin's………" Bobby holds up a photo of Jacob Allen, as he lay dead on the floor. "Look at the position of Gavin and look at the position of Jacob." Alex and Leonard do as he requests.

"They are lying in exactly the same position," Alex says.

"Exactly," he taps on Jacobs's photo. "I have seen this before, in a news article or in a forensics book but I can't remember where or when." He stretches out his arms, "This was all staged, brilliantly and meticulously," he shakes his head as a feeling of awe and disgust surge through his body. "It was a photo of a man who did indeed shoot his wife then he committed suicide. After he shot her he sat in a chair and shot himself in the temple. He has duplicated the crime to the last blood drop."

Alex looks around the room, "Someone else was definitely here."

Bobby nods his head as he clutches his case with both hands.

**Medical Examiner's Office**

"The only difference between Jacob Allen and Timothy Gavin, Jacob received six knife wounds, Timothy seven." She hands Bobby the file. "Semen on his pants, bullet wound to the temple," Doctor Rodgers crosses her arms. "The position of the gun to the temple, exactly the same."

**Brooklyn General Hospital**

Goren and Eames arrive at the hospital and discover that Evelyn is in surgery, her prognosis looks good. Alex questions the attending Doctor, "Were there any signs of sexual assault?"

"No none. There were no tears or evidence of semen found."

They meet up with Laura Gavin and she retells her story of discovering her parents.

"Any particular reason your father was home on a Tuesday afternoon?" Alex asks.

"He owns his own business, since he works on Saturday he likes to take a day off in the middle of the week. He says Tuesday is the best because it's not a special day."

"And what about you? You work at the family business?"

She shakes her head, "No, I had one appointment this morning; I'm a real estate agent. I called Mom last night and when I told her I had the afternoon off she suggested that we do some shopping and then have dinner together."

"Guns, Laura," Bobby asks. "Your father was a member of a gun club?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact that was one of the places that he visited on Tuesdays."

"Your father was a member of the Wilmington gun club?"

A little shocked at the question, Laura nods, "Yes, yes he was."

"Miss Gavin," she turns when she hears her name, "Excuse me, Yes Doctor."

"Wilmington gun club," Alex says, "Sounds familiar."

**Later that Afternoon**

Alex is driving, Bobby is thinking, "Earth to Goren."

"Yeah," he chuckles. "I was thinking that we should not announce the fact that Evelyn is alive, let him think that he succeeded once again. We have a….I mean I hope we have a witness to this and hopefully we can find him before he strikes again."

Alex pulls the SUV into the underground parking lot of One Police Plaza, "I agree with you. Don't want the little prick to disappear."

**Major Case Squad**

Alex is keying information on the computer while Bobby sits beside her. "Detectives," they look up when they hear Ross's voice.

Alex leans over and whispers, "Do you think the guy knows our names?" Alex nudges him as she starts to giggle.

"In my office Detectives," Ross extends his arm, Alex leads the way.

Alex relays all the information that they have uncovered. Bobby takes the seat next to the window, continually gazing at the photo. He exhales a few times, shifts his position in the chair. Stuffs the photo in the case closes it, moments later he opens up the case and looks over the photo again.

"Is there something you want to add, Detective?"

Bobby looks up, "What?"

"You look as if you want to say something."

"No," he stands. "I don't have anything to add."

**Brooklyn General Hospital**

**Evelyn Gavin's Room**

**The Next Afternoon**

Laura does the introductions and after a few kind words concerning her welfare, Alex begins the questioning, "Misses Gavin can you please tell us what happened?"

She slowly sits up in the bed and her daughter places a second pillow behind her back. She exhales, "Tim was out most of the morning, he came home around 1 or 2, I'm not sure."

"Did he tell you the places that he went that morning?" Alex asks.

"The barber and the gun club, he had just purchased a new gun and he was very excited to try it out. He had a gun pointed at my husbands head!" She starts to sob.

"He, who is he?"

"Jonathan," she grabs a few tissues and wipes her eyes.

Bobby asks, "The intruder, he told you his name?"

"No, he had the wallet."

Alex asks, "Wallet, what wallet?"

"Tim's wallet," she holds her face in her hands. "Oh I'm sorry I forgot to mention that."

"Misses Gavin no need to apologize, just take your time." Bobby says very softly. She looks in the big man's soft brown eyes and smiles.

"After Tim came home he realized that his wallet was not in his jacket pocket. He told me that he remembered that he opened the wallet to take out his ID card at the club. He called the club and they assured him that they would look for it. He no sooner ended the phone call then the door bell rang."

"Who answered the door?" Bobby asks.

"I answered the door and a man said that he found Tim's wallet. Tim introduced him to me as Jonathan," she pauses. "I don't remember if he mentioned a last name."

"Do you know if Jonathan works at the gun club?"

"Tim didn't say, Detective Eames." Evelyn licks her lips as if her mouth is getting dry. Laura pours her a cup of water. "Thank you, honey," she drinks all the liquid inside. She sets the cup down on the tray. She continues her tale, "They started talking about guns and I think I said something like it was very nice of him to deliver the wallet. I excused myself and as I passed him to go up the stairs he called to me, he said bitch where do you think you're going? When I turned to face him, he had a gun pointed at Tim's head. He ushered us into the family room." Evelyn suddenly gets quiet; she fidgets in the bed hoping that she will get comfortable enough to tell the tale. Laura says, "Maybe you should take a break Mom before you continue?"

"No, no," she raises her voice. "I want to get this over with."

"What happened next?" Bobby asks.

"He told me to………Oh I just remembered he had a bag with him, he opened it and took out a set of handcuffs and he put on surgical gloves ………..no wait two sets of handcuffs. He tossed me a set and told me to handcuff Tim, behind his back. He then ordered Tim to sit in one of the chairs." She motions for her daughter to get closer. Laura walks up to the side of the bed, Evelyn takes her hand.

"After Tim sat down he told me to put the handcuffs on one of his ankles and one on my wrist. He left the room and returned with two or three steak knives. He tossed me the key and ordered me to unlock the cuff then put it on Tim's other ankle. He stood behind Tim the whole time. When I finished he stomped on the floor, he said kneel down. I hesitated for a moment and as I looked up, I saw the blade of the knife against Tim's face. He called me by my name," she shutters. "He said Evelyn, you do what I say when I say it or he'll never need to shave again, understand? I think I may have nodded and I knelt down."

Bobby sits down in the chair closest to the bed, "You're arms and legs were free?"

"Yes…………He moved a chair into the middle of the room and sat down. I was to his right, Tim to his left. He….he ordered me to take my clothes off…….one article of clothing at a time. At times my hands were shaking so much that I had trouble undoing the buttons," she sits up with a renewed bit of energy. "When my hands would shake and I couldn't obey he would get up and stand behind Tim using the knife to cut him and…………..when he…………he wanted Tim to continuously watch me and if, even for a second Tim would put his head down or look away he used the knife to cut me." Evelyn looks over at Bobby. Not sure of the expression on her face, he asks, "Would you rather tell the rest of this to my partner, alone?"

She shakes her head and says with confidence, "No," she manages a slight smile. "When all my clothes were shed he told me to touch certain places on my body. He was, I mean Jonathan was getting a………." Evelyn looks away from the trio. "An, as he called it a hard on and started to mock Tim because he wasn't," she pours water into a cup and drinks it down quickly. "I kept thinking that he was going to rape me…..but he barely touched me."

Bobby interjects, "Except with the knife?"

She nods slightly, taking a cleansing breathe, "I heard his zipper go down and from the corner of my eye I saw him put on a condom. I remember I thought to myself, how odd."

Bobby finishes writing a sentence and as he looks up he says, "He didn't want to leave any part of himself in the room."

Suddenly Evelyn looks exhausted, Laura says excitedly, "Maybe we could, should finish this later."

Evelyn tugs on her daughters' hand, "No Laura I want to finish this now." She says with a commanding tone. "He stood behind Tim holding the knife to his neck, he forced me to perform," she squeezes her daughters hand. "Oral sex………..on Tim," she says sheepishly. "I tried to imagine myself in another place and time," she pauses. "He, not Tim was sitting in the chair and I heard him moaning." Laura bends down and wraps her arms around her mother. Evelyn continues her story, "The next thing I remember was him pointing a gun at me and pulling the trigger. I was on the floor but I was conscience and I could hear him walking around, talking to himself."

Bobby asks, "Do you remember anything that he said."

"Yes," she says nodding, "It must be perfect. It has to be perfect." She exhales and sits back, "I heard the gun go off again and I wanted to cry but I stayed still and the next thing I remember is waking up in here."

"Just one more thing, can you describe him?"

"Yes of course I can," she says proudly.

"If you feel up to it, we will have a sketch artist come here later this afternoon."

Laura takes her mothers hand and holds it to her face, "Tomorrow, Detective Eames. Can we do that tomorrow?"

Evelyn sits up, "Laura, it's…………"

"No Mom no more today you need to rest."

Bobby stands, "We'll leave now, Misses Gavin, I know how hard that was for you. We'll get him I promise."

She holds out her hand and Bobby lightly shakes it. "I believe you."

"You get some rest and we'll see you tomorrow."

The door closes behind them; Bobby and Alex remain silent until they are alone in the elevator. "Oh my God," Alex exclaims. "He gets aroused just by seeing a woman naked. He's a grown man for God's sake."

"No," Bobby shakes his head. "That's not it at all; it's her fear that excites him. He humiliates her and at the same time he has total power and control over the man. That's what gets him aroused."

**The Next Afternoon**

**Major Case Squad**

**Captain's Ross's Office**

Ross is on the phone as Goren and Eames arrive at his door he waves them in, "Yes Sir I agree." He cradles the phone. "That was the Chief of D's," he says as sits back in the chair.

"Captain, do we have to kick this over to SVU?" Alex asks.

"No, as a matter of fact the Chief of D's agrees with me that you guys started this you can finish it." Alex sits down first, Bobby follows. A knock is heard at the door. "Captain, I finished the sketch."

Ross stands, "Let's have a look." Ross looks over the sketch and hands it to Bobby. "Evelyn Gavin's description is of a man who she feels is between 30 and 35 years old. He stands the same height as her husband which was 5'11. He has dark brown hair cut short, green eyes. His shoulders are broad and he is muscular. She does not remember or did not see any scars or tattoos." Bobby passes the sketch to Alex she takes a long look, "Jesus he looks like any guy on the street."

**TBC**


	4. Hot On The Trail

**Chapter Four**

**Hot On The Trail**

**Wilmington Gun Club**

Always the gentlemen Bobby holds the door for his partner, Alex nods as she enters the building, first. Behind the counter is a tall well-built young man. He looks up as the bell on the door jingles. A face full of teeth greets them, "Afternoon, may I help you?"

Two gold shields appear, his eyes widen. "I'm Detective Eames this is Detective Goren. You are?"

He swallows, "Kenny, ah Kenneth Elwell."

"Relax Kenny," Bobby says. "We need to ask you some questions?" Bobby holds up the sketch of Jonathan, "Have you ever seen this man? He may have been acquainted with two of your members, Jacob Allen and Timothy Gavin."

The young man gazes at the sketch intently; he takes it from Bobby's grasp. He looks up, "It looks like Jonathan Fletcher," Bobby notices that the young man suddenly seems nervous.

"What? You remember something?"

He nods, "He was here yesterday he….he found Gavin's wallet, come to think of it," he points between Goren and Eames. "He was standing right there, when I received the phone call from Tim."

"It bothered you for some reason?"

"Yeah." He nods his head. "It's been bothering me because the same thing happened a few days ago to Jacob he was a member here and he….he killed himself, his wife too."

Goren and Eames exchange a glance and a nod, Alex asks. "Jonathan works here?"

"Yes he does, part time."

"Any chance that he is working today?"

The young man hands the sketch back to Bobby, "No sir not on Wednesdays, I think the guy has like three or four part time jobs. He works here and at a few retail stores."

Alex moves closer to the counter, "Do you have an address on him?"

"Yes," after a couple of clicks on the computer the young man rattles off an address. "140 Warren Street, Brooklyn."

Bobby writes down the address, "Thank you, Ah," he points. "Your ID cards do they have photos on them?"

"Yes they do."

"Your employees also?" The young man nods. "Can you print us a copy?"

"Sure," a few clicks on the mouse and a copy of Jonathan Fletchers' ID card appears. He hands the paper to Bobby. "Ah….can I ask what he did?"

Before they turn to leave Alex says, "You can ask."

He nods, "Ok I get it."

"Jonathan Fletcher has another low life quality, pick pocket." Bobby nods his head as he once again opens the door for his partner.

**140 Warren Street**

"Mister Fletcher it's the police," Alex says as she knocks and then presses the doorbell. No answer. "Can't anything ever be easy? Like the jerk being home."

Bobby laughs aloud, "Of course not." He leans against the porch railing, "Let's use Fletcher's ID card and put together a photo line up for Misses Gavin. If she picks out Fletcher then we'll known if we're on the right track."

**Major Case Squad**

Alex is once again keying information into the computer while Bobby is on a coffee run. She enters the description of Jonathan Fletcher and after a few seconds a hundred names appear on the screen, she starts to click on the names randomly, mug shots appear. "What a shame," Alex says.

"What's that?" Bobby asks as returns to her side with a cup of coffee. He sets the cup down.

She clicks a few times then grabs for the cup, "Some of these guys are really cute," she clicks on a few more descriptions and photos appear on the screen. "Not only are all the good looking ones married or gay they are also in prison."

He laughs, "Come on it can't be that bad?"

She gives him a look as if to say _you've got to kidding_ _me_. He smiles and raises his eyebrows, "Yeah I know what you mean," he sits forward and takes a long look at the pictures of three men on the screen, he points. "How about this guy?"

"No he's got a scar, remember no scars."

"No….not for the line up, look," he points to the screen. "He's on parole."

She smacks him on the arm and smiles, "You're funny." He starts to laugh and she has to join him. "God how pathetic is my life," she rubs her forehead.

"Your life is not pathetic," he says softly. She gently pats his arm. Alex sits back in the chair taking a long sip of coffee. "This one," she clicks on his description and a photo appears.

Bobby takes a sip of coffee, "No he's too short even for you."

"Yeah I guess you're right." She laughs as she clicks on another photo. "Here we go this one he has a degree in engineering."

"No," Bobby points. "Look at all the tattoos….think what they'll look like when he's about sixty." A scowl appears on her face as she imagines that sight. Except for their laughter, the room is quiet. Then they hear the voice, "Detectives." They wipe their eyes, Alex whispers, "The party's over." They look up.

"Captain," Alex says. "We're putting together a photo line up for Evelyn Gavin, we have confirmation from a…………" Alex searches her memory for the name.

Bobby says, "Kenneth Elwell." She nods at him.

"From the gun club that a man named Jonathan Fletcher, who matches the description Evelyn gave us works there."

"Good idea; after you put the line up together call Carver and have him meet you there."

They nod as Ross walks through the squad room to his office. Alex clicks on another description and another mug shot appears. "How about this one?" No answer from him, she looks up at her partner who is not looking at the screen but at her, he nods. "Yeah he's a match."

She smiles sweetly, the ringing of a phone causes them to turn away. "Well….that's five." She hits the print copy button on the screen.

"Hey, did you ever find that book or the news article with that photo?" she asks as they walk toward the printer.

He shakes his head, "No, I've checked through my books and it's not in there." He crosses his arms as he leans up against a table, "Maybe it wasn't in a book, damn. I can't remember."

"That picture seems to have made a lasting impression on your mind." He remains silent, she taps his arm.

"Yeah…yeah the man in the photo….he….he looked like my father," he claps his hands them rubs them. "Well, should we visit Evelyn Gavin?"

Alex places the photos in a pile and hands them to her partner.

**Brooklyn General Hospital**

Bobby knocks gently on the door as he slowly opens it. Evelyn sits up and smiles at him. "Afternoon Misses Gavin, how are you today?"

"I'm a little sore but I'm improving, Detective and it's Evelyn."

"Mis…Evelyn this is Mister Carver from the D.A.'s office." Carver holds out his hand, "I'm very sorry for all of this Ma'am."

"I appreciate that, thank you."

Bobby opens his case, "Evelyn we have set up a photo line up and we would like you to look at these photos and see if any of the men look like Jonathan."

She turns her face away then exhales, "Of course anything I can do to get that piece of shit off the street."

Evelyn picks up each photo and gazes at the faces on the six men. They can see her shutter as she holds up the photo of Jonathan Fletcher. "This one, it's this one."

Bobby moves forward and takes the photo from her hand, "Fletcher his name is Jonathan Fletcher, he does indeed work at the gun club."

"He stole Tim's wallet, didn't he?"

Alex smiles at her perceptiveness, she answers, "Yes we believe he did." They turn their heads when the door opens and Linda walks into the room.

Evelyn holds out her hand, "They found him Linda," she takes a hold of her mother's hand. "They found that slimy mother fucker." Linda is surprised at her mother's use of language but in her eyes and the rest of the people in the room _if the shoe fits_.

They wish her well and the trio walk slowly down the hall, "Mister Carver," Bobby says. "The victim ID'd this guy, we need an arrest warrant."

Carver nods as he removes his cell phone from his jacket pocket, "I'll call Judge Grimes."

Once inside their vehicle Alex pauses before she places the key in the ignition. Bobby notices her hesitation, "Hey are you alright?"

Alex turns to her partner and smiles, "Yeah I was just thinking about Evelyn," she starts up the vehicle, "She is one brave woman."

Bobby nods his heads, "She sure is."

**140 Warren Street**

Alex parks the vehicle about 100 feet from Fletcher's door. Two uniformed officers greet them. They have in their hands a warrant for the arrest of Jonathan Fletcher. The taller of the officers hands the paper to Alex.

Once again, Alex knocks then pushes the buzzer. This time the door opens and the photo on his ID card does not do him justice. Alex unconsciously does a double take. He smiles at her, and then she looks into his eyes. She turns away, shivers. _Cold._ Bobby lightly touches her arm, she regains her composure, "Jonathan Fletcher, I'm Detective Eames this is Detective Goren we have a warrant for your arrest."

Jonathan tries with no avail to look her in the eyes; Alex moves her head continuously to avoid his gaze. Bobby moves forward grabs him by the shoulder, turning him around. "Aren't you going to ask why you are being arrested?" Jonathan remains silent. "Murder," he puts the handcuffs on. Bobby lightly pushes him into the waiting grasp of the two officers.

Bobby takes a step forward, Alex remains. He turns to her, "Alex what's the matter?" She shakes her head as if she was in another place and time. She takes a step forward, passing her partner, "Nothing," she continues to walk. "Nothing Bobby everything is fine, come on let's go."

He follows her and as she opens the driver's side door she says, "Let's bury the mother fucker."

**TBC**


	5. Mind of a Psychopath

**Chapter Five**

**Mind of a Psychopath**

Bobby remains motionless until Alex closes her door. Moments later he is inside the vehicle, "What is it with that phrase today?" he says lightheartedly. She does not respond, he looks over at his partner and she is trying to put the key in the ignition, without success, her hand is shaking. He tenderly takes a hold of her forearm. "What is the matter?"

She slowly lifts her head, "Nothing, I told you before." She says sternly, not able to meet his eyes. He positions himself to face her, "Bull shit."

She tries once again to put the key in the ignition, she makes a motion to throw the keys, "Son of bitch," she mutters. She can sense him staring. "He….he scared me. I looked….in his eyes." She covers her face with her hands then wipes her eyes. "Oh my God Bobby, I feel as if I just met the devil." She sits erect in the seat shaking her head.

"I think maybe you did," he pauses, "So….let's get back to the station and put the little prick away."

She turns her head to face him and he has a slight smile on his face. She smiles in return and suddenly feels a sense of comfort, she has stopped shaking and she proceeds to put the key in the ignition and start the SUV.

**Major Case Squad **

While Jonathan is being processed, Goren and Eames do some further checking into his past. "Not much in here," Bobby says.

They uncover that Jonathan was born April 10th 1975 to Jessica and George Fletcher. Born and raised in Brooklyn New York. No siblings, parents are deceased. Graduated High School at age 16, school records indicates his IQ to be 148. He attended Hudson University for two semesters, was expelled due to undisclosed incident in the dorm.

"I can just imagine what that was," Alex says.

He has never been arrested. In the years since college, he has held one menial job after another.

"Detectives," Ross says as he walks toward them. They look up and notice a piece of paper in his hand. "I have the search warrant for Fletcher's place." Alex holds out her hand, "Thank you," she says as she opens it up.

"Are you going to search now or….." Bobby interjects. "No I want to talk to him first."

**Interrogation Room-C**

Officers Quincy and Williams escort Jonathan into the interrogation room. "Turn around," Quincy says. His handcuffs are removed. Williams points to a chair, "Sit down." Jonathan nods, sits, pulls the chair forward and folds his hands, staring straight ahead. Quincy stands in one corner of the room, Williams the other. The door opens and the officers look in the direction of the sound, Jonathan does not acknowledge the fact that anyone has entered the room.

Alex enters first Bobby following close behind. She sits to Jonathan's left; Bobby takes the seat across from their suspect. Bobby opens his leather case, "Evelyn Gavin," he places her photo on the table. "She's alive; you screwed up Jonathan, you left her alive." The reaction Bobby was hoping for does not come. He frowns but continues, "She picked you out of a photo line-up."

Jonathan sits back in the chair, "Try and find one minuscule of me in that house." He turns his head to the left, "Detective Eames." He smiles then wags his finger at her, "Alex right. Short for what Alexis or Alexandra, either way," he shrugs his shoulder. "Is beautiful," he pauses. "As are you," Alex reluctantly looks up as a look of gratification shows on Jonathan's face, seeing the fear on hers. She quickly looks away. Bobby as always is watching and absorbing the interaction, the sound of his chair being pushed back causes Jonathan to look up at the big man for the first time. He picks up the photo and replaces it in his case, and closes it. "Will you excuse us for a minute," he touches Alex on the shoulder, she stands and follows her partner out the door.

Bobby opens the door to the observation room, where Ross and Carver have been listening and watching. Ross turns his head to face them, "What? What's the matter? Why did you stop?"

Bobby clutches his case with two hands, gesturing with his head, "Look at him, look at his face." The men in the room focus there attention on Jonathan. Alex turns away.

They watch for a moment, Carver says, "He's aroused, he hasn't done anything to her."

Bobby calmly and methodically says, "Yes he has, she's a New York City police detective and a woman of authority and he…………"

"I'm sorry," Alex screams. "I'm sorry that….that sick son of bitch scared me." She grabs the doorknob, "At least I have some….." She lowers her head. "Go to hell Bobby," he says angrily. The men watch in silence as she leaves the room.

"What is that all about?" Ross asks.

Bobby rubs the back of his neck, takes a step forward then turns, "He scared her," he pauses. "When he opened the door to us," he exhales, "She told me that when she looked at him she felt as if she had just met the devil and I………" he turns away from them, opens the door and leaves the room.

He finds her sitting at her desk staring at the computer screen and typing. She glances up over the screen and notices him, quickly she lowers her head. He rolls his chair over to her left side and sits down. "I'm sorry." She stops typing but continues to face forward. "I didn't mean to sound so insensitive." He sets his case on her desk. "Alex, look at me, say something."

She lowers her head, "I'm not….I can't go back in there Bobby."

"I understand, I really do," he rolls the chair back. "Alex…."

"It's….I forgive you. I know that you're not," she pauses. "An insensitive man. Just doing your job and keeping your feelings out of it."

He picks up his case then stands, "Since when do I keep my feelings out of a case." She has to smile at the comment.

Bobby enters the interrogation room and sitting quietly is Jonathan. He follows Bobby with his eyes, "Ah….so he returns alone," he catches Bobby's eyes, "The protector." He says mockingly. Bobby resumes the seat across the table, ignoring the comment.

Once again he opens his case, "Kenny Elwell," he removes Kenny's written statement and places it on the table. "He has confirmed that you had possession of not only Tim Gavin's' wallet. Which," Bobby removes another piece of paper from his case and places it on the table. "Evelyn Gavin said you had come to their house to return it that afternoon." Jonathan leans forward and begins to read. "And only a few days before, Kenny said that you had Jacob Allen's, wallet." Jonathan hastily slides the paper in Bobby's direction. "That Elwell kid, he's mistaken," he leans forward. "Check him out….the kid smokes pot, everyday. The only reason they let him get away with it." Jonathan looks from his left to his right as if he is revealing secret. "He is not allowed near the guns." Jonathan sits back in the chair and crosses his arms.

"Great a pot head on the stand," Ross says.

Carver shakes his head, "I may have to cross him off the witness list."

Jonathan continues, "And as far as Misses Gavin picking me out of a line up. Hell," he clasps his hands behind his head. "I'll bet there are a thousand guys who fit my description living in New York." If he could, Bobby would love to smack the smug look off his face.

"That's all we got!" Carver exclaims.

"Goren and Eames plan to search his place, maybe….hopefully…." The door opens and Alex enters the room. Silence in the interrogation room and suddenly silence in the observation room. "So how's it going?" She says keeping her focus on Carver and Ross.

Ross shakes his head, "Not good, I was just saying to Mister Carver that hopefully you and your partner will uncover something in his home."

They once again turn their attention to the men in the interrogation room, they watch as Bobby picks up the papers that he placed on the table. "So Detective, why didn't Alex come back. Is she alright?" Just hearing him speak her name causes Alex to shiver.

Bobby ignores Jonathan's question, he looks to Officer Quincy, "Put him back in the holding cell." He stands and leaves the room. Moments later Bobby joins his colleagues, he walks up to Alex and lightly touches her arm whispering, "Are you alright?"

She looks up into those soft, warm brown eyes and smiles as she nods her head. He turns abruptly causing Ross and Carver to move back a step. "He's one smart, arrogant son of a bitch….he's not going to talk to me," he says staring at the man who he believes murdered three people. "Even my mention of a survivor and he doesn't blink. Can't play games with him he's too astute."

"Is he talking to us?" Ross says.

Carver smiles as does Alex, suddenly Bobby turns away from the glass and leads the way out of the room; they remain silent as they watch Jonathan Fletcher being escorted back to his cell.

"I have read Evelyn Gavin's statement and she seems to be a reliable witness but I want, I need more." Carver says sounding hopeful. "Find something in that house." He checks his watch, "I have to leave, call me if and when you find something."

"We will," Alex says confidently.

"I can do this alone, Alex, you don't have…….." She holds her hand up, "I'm going with you, come on."

**Jonathan Fletcher's Home **

Alex leads the way followed by Bobby and a team of investigators. They stop midway through the living room, "It looks like an old lady lives here." Alex remarks as she touches the plastic covering on the couch. Bobby nods in agreement, he scans the room. To his left are shelves, a wall of books. Alex smirks as she watches her partner make a beeline for the rows of paperbacks and hard-covers.

"These books are in alphabetical order and I thought I was obsessive." Directly eye level he sees the word Forensics, he scans the titles and one is familiar to him. 'The Illustrated Guide to Forensics—True Crime Scene Investigations' he flips hurriedly through the book, he comes across a chapter on blood splatter from a gun shot. He lays the book aside and scans through the hundreds of titles using his index finger as a guide, he stops. "This is it!"

Alex hears him and puts down a pile of Fletcher's mail that she had been sorting through, "What?"

He holds up a book, "It wasn't a text book it was a novel, a non-fiction novel about Leonard and Crystal White. He shot his wife and turned the gun on himself."

Alex stands next to him, "Leonard White the banker? I remember that story."

Bobby's response is a nod; in the middle of the book are photos. "Holy shit," he holds the book up facing the photo in Alex's direction. She takes the book from his grasp. "Oh my God it's….it's the same position that Jacob and Tim were found."

Aside from the books about forensics science and the novel there is nothing in the home to connect Jonathan Fletcher to the homicides.

"That is not what I want to hear Detectives." Carver says, glancing through the report.

"Haven't you spoken to Evelyn Gavin, yet?" Bobby says surprisingly.

"I had an appointment this morning but she has since contracted an infection and not able to speak with me." He sets the papers down. "I have another meeting with her tomorrow."

**The Next Afternoon**

Bobby and Alex have since returned from another crime scene and are discussing their victim and his family. Alex looks up and catches Carver approaching in the corner of her eye. "Detectives, good afternoon."

Almost in unison they respond, "Good Afternoon."

Carver leans down on Alex's desk. "I have just spent the morning with Evelyn Gavin, oh my God, that poor woman." He stands erect. "I have no doubt in my mind that she will not only be a very convincing witness but will indeed be what we need to put Jonathan Fletcher behind bars."

**A Month Later**

"I thought that you would be interested in the psychiatric report on Fletcher," Carver says handing Bobby a copy. "He still claims that he is innocent however with his background," Carver sits back in his chair. "This report can and will show that he is capable of this crime."

_When I asked the subject Jonathan Fletcher, how he felt that two men that he was acquainted with were murdered he showed no remorse or concern for the deceased or the family. He did say, maybe unconsciously, that his father should have committed suicide and taken his mother with him, he let out a small laugh._

_I asked him why and for the first time in our session, he seemed to lose his overconfident attitude. He started to fidget and he appeared to be afraid._

_I asked what he was afraid of. He raised his voice and said that I am not afraid; in my opinion he acted and sounded like a child. He went into an irrelevant tear about things that he was able to do, now that she, he said the word 'she' with such distaste, is dead. She would constantly tell him that he was wasting his time; no matter what he did he could never please her. _

_I asked about his relationship with his mother._

_He scoffed and said what relationship. I asked what he meant._

_He suddenly seemed confident again, mostly due to the fact that, she was no longer alive and he could say anything without being punished for it. _

_She would day after day remind him of the fact that she never should have had a son but a daughter. During the session, he would from time to time imitate her. I don't understand boys and your father he doesn't know how to take care of anything, I have to do everything. The man is worthless as are all men._

_He told of a time when he was in the second grade his class put on a play about farming. He was so nervous that when the teacher finally persuaded him to go on the stage he wet his pants. His mother throughout his life would tell people that story. To humiliate him yes but to further stress her point how useless and weak he and his father were. She was the dominate force in the family._

_His father was indeed a weak man and a coward in his eyes. He never defended himself or his son. She ruled every moment of their lives. He continually speaks about what is important to him, interested only in self-gratification. His mother was a narcissist as is he; also, I would have to classify him as having a psychotic personality. _

_I have seen the photos and read the police reports, in my opinion the aim of the culprit is to put the couple in a no win situation. The humiliation and the fear is what he strives for and becomes aroused by. The men are helpless as he and his father were and in this situation he is the one with all he power and control something that he never experienced in the past. _

"Fascinating but its all speculation, seems to me that Jonathan is willing to speak freely about his past as if he has come to terms with it."

Carver leans forward and clasps his hands together, "He said that his parents should have gone that way."

"He's shoving it in our face," he sets down the report. "I can say it, prove it."

"We don't have proof, do we?"

Bobby frowns, "No….but we have Evelyn."

"Indeed we do."

**A Few Months Later**

Alex rubs her eyes, "I'm going blind reading all this crap."

"More coffee?" Bobby asks.

"Yes, thank you."

"Detective," Alex looks up, "Yes Captain."

"Anything new?"

Alex points to a box on her desk as she shakes her head, "Want a chocolate cupcake Captain? I think there are a few left."

Bobby returns with a mug of coffee for him and Alex. Ross looks to him then points. "There's only one left. Do you want it?"

Bobby sets down the coffee mug on her desk, "No thanks I don't like chocolate cupcakes."

Ross gives him a queer look. Alex notices it. "I know weird." Bobby just shrugs his shoulders.

"Thank you," Ross takes a bite and nods, "This is good, homemade."

"Yes," Alex says as she set down the paper she was reading. "But not by me, my niece."

The phone on Bobby's desk rings, he takes a quick sip of coffe before answering, "Goren."

"_Detective Goren this is Peter Carlton, I am Evelyn Gavin's attorney."_

Alex notices the frown on her partner's face. "Yes Mister Carlton, I remember Evelyn speaking of you. What can I do for you?"

"_Linda asked me call….I have some bad news…Evelyn was involved in a car accident this morning and…Jesus…she's dead."_

Bobby rubs his eyes, "Oh my God, I…," he lets out a long breath. "Thank you for the call Mister Carlton, please extend my condolences to the Gavin family."

_"I will Detective, goodbye."_

"Goodbye," he cradles the phone.

Alex says, "Why do I get the feeling that this isn't going to be good news?"

**The Next Afternoon**

"Thought you two should know, Carver just phoned." Ross stuffs his hands in his pockets. "He has decided to drop the charges against Fletcher. He feels that if he went to trial now…he would lose. So rather then letting Fletcher go 'scott' free, drop the charges now and hope that in the future new evidence will come to light and then he can re-file the charges."

Bobby scrubs his face, "I have to agree, I don't like it. But….ah son of a bitch."

**Saturday Afternoon**

**Alex' Apartment**

**4 PM**

After a late afternoon shopping spree Alex returns to her apartment. She climbs the few steps to her door and as she is inserting the key into the lock, she hears a noise behind her. Before she turns to look, "Hello Alex." She can feel the muzzle of a gun on her back. "Don't turn around, you know who it is, just unlock the door," he commands. She does as she is ordered, as she opens the door he pushes her inside and she falls to the floor. She turns to face Jonathan Fletcher.

**TBC**


	6. Captives

**Chapter Six**

**Captives**

"Kneel down and place your hands on your head." He stands before her. She watches him closely as he quickly removes a set of handcuffs from the pocket of his over-sized coat. "Lie down and place you hands behind your back." A moment or two pass and she can feel weight on her legs then her wrists are cuffed. She hears his footsteps walk away from her in the direction of the kitchen, moments later she feels a gloved hand on her arm, "Sit up."

He positions himself next to her dining table. He reaches into his pockets and takes out another set of cuffs, rope and a package of condoms. Along with these items she recognizes the knife that he has in his hand. She can see the gun sticking out of his pants. Slowly and methodically he places the items side by side on the table. Suddenly he removes his coat, folds it and places it neatly over a chair. _Please God let me wake up_. His footsteps on the hardwood floor cause her to come back to reality.

"Where is your cell phone?"

She hesitates; he lightly touches her leg with his foot. "Don't make me repeat myself."

"In….in my bag," she says with a shaky voice. Carefully he removes the phone from her bag. "I want you to make a phone call, Alex." He stands before her. "Can you guess who I want you to call?"

She shakes her head, he stomps on the floor, she shutters from the sound, "I asked you a question…I expect an answer."

"No," she swallows hard. "I have no idea."

"Your partner," he turns his back on her and moves one of the chairs from her dinette set and places it next to her. She smirks, "Wh…why?"

"You don't get to ask questions," she turns her face away from his stare, he can see her shiver. He touches her leg with a little more pressure this time. He flips open the phone, "I need you to get him here without it sounding suspicious," he sits down. "Be smart about it." She nods her head; "Is that a yes?"

She answers sharply, "Yes you sick bastard!" she suddenly regrets her response? She watches him in fear of his retaliation. He asks plainly, "What's his phone number Alex?"

She recites the number. "555-0630." Jonathan punches it in, after three rings, it connects, "_Goren." _

Jonathan puts the phone on speaker then holds it close to her mouth, "Hey Bobby, have any plans for dinner?"

"_No, I don't. I thought you were going to dinner with your sister."_

"She canceled out on me, Matthew got sick and she went home. I don't feel like eating alone so I was thinking of getting take out from Star's Cafe, in the mood for shrimp?"

"_Yeah sure, do you want me to stop and pick it up?"_

She looks up at Jonathan. He shakes his head. "No, no I'll call ahead I'll have them deliver. How about in about an hour?"

He pauses for a moment, "_Ok I'll be there a little after six….oh and_ _don't forget to get some clams."_

"I won't. See you then."

"_Bye."_

He closes the phone, "Good very good." He touches her face with the phone, she turns away.

**An Hour Later**

Jonathan has taken a seat near the front window; he slowly and carefully moves the curtain aside when he hears a car door slam. He stands, Alex watches him and the smile on his face sends a shiver down her spine. "I am going to remove the cuffs so you can answer the door. I want you to get him in the middle of the room. You screw up and I'll put a bullet in his head and you know what?" He says as he removes the cuff. Alex takes a step forward but remains silent. "Alex I believe I asked you a question."

"What?" she says, sounding exasperated.

"It will be your fault that he's dead."

The doorbell buzzes. Jonathan stands to the right side of the door, he waves his hand at her to open it, she does. "You're right on time," she says.

"Really? I thought I was early, because I'll tell you…." Bobby enters the home; he suddenly notices the look of terror on his partners face. "What's the………….."

"Hi Bobby," he starts to turn. "Don't turn around you know who it is."

Looking at Alex he says with concern, "Are you alright?"

Nodding her head she manages to form the word, "Yes."

Bobby quickly turns and comes face to face with Jonathan, "Fletcher what the hell do you want?"

"As I told her," he points to Alex. "You don't get to ask questions." Jonathan walks slowly to Bobby's right and is now standing between them. "I knew it. You two make a great couple."

Alex says, "A couple? We're not a couple."

Jonathan grins like a Cheshire cat. "Alex take his jacket and hang it up, mustn't be messy." Bobby quickly removes his jacket and hands it to her. "Alex love," she squirms. "Get that chair for Bobby so he can sit." He points to one of dinette chairs. "Put it over there," he points behind Bobby. She positions the chair exactly where Jonathan asked. "Bobby sit down." He hesitates, "Wha….." Jonathan points the gun to her cheek; "She has a pretty face, doesn't she, would you like to see a bullet in it?"

Bobby immediately sits down. Jonathan stands behind him, "Put your hands through the slats of the chair, Bobby." He tosses the two sets of handcuffs to Alex, "Cuff his hands then his legs." Alex hesitates for a moment; suddenly she sees the glistening of a blade.

She cuffs Bobby hands and legs and then stands. "Now," he tosses her the rope, "Tie his ankles to the legs of the chair." Once again she hesitates, he clears his throat and the blade of the knife is pointed to Bobby's neck. She ties his ankles to the chair legs.

Jonathan moves from behind Bobby, "Alex, sit down on the floor." He stamps his foot, "Right here."

Jonathan sits down in a chair that he places between them but further than arms length. Bobby is to his left and Alex to the right. "You see Bobby, that's where they belong on the floor and at our feet."

Alex and Bobby just look at each other and then at Jonathan, they have seen first hand the effects of what he is capable of.

He has since stuffed the gun into his pants but he continues to hold the knife. "Alex my love," he crosses his legs. "Un-button your blouse." She raises her eyebrows as she gives him a questionable look. "Did you hear what I said?" She nods. "What? Did you say something?"

"Yes I heard you."

He uncrosses his legs then sits forward. "Do it." His voice is low but commanding. She reaches up and places her fingers on the top button of her blouse, her hands start to shake.

"Don't be nervous." His smile is sinister. "I'm sure Bobby has wondered what you have under there. Haven't you?" He looks over at him. Bobby is looking down at the floor. "Bobby I want you to look at her." He stands up and grabs Alex by her hair and pulls, she stands. He holds the knife next to her face and has a strong hold on her hair; the more she squirms the harder he pulls. Suddenly she stops, "You see the way this works is, if you don't watch I'll punish her. Now look at her."

Bobby lifts his head. Jonathan pushes her forward, she remains standing. "Come on Alex only a few more buttons to go." She can't help but shake. "Take your blouse off." Slowly she undoes the buttons. "Now, your bra. I can't wait to see this." He says excitedly. Her hands are shaking so much that she has trouble grabbing the hooks in the back. "Alex I'm waiting and so is Bobby." He looks at Bobby. "Right? Come on tell me you're not enjoying this. Honestly Bobby, tell me how often have you thought about fucking _that_?"

Muttering he says, "Oh my God." He expels a long breath. Jonathan leans over to catch his eye.

"Bobby I asked you a question." Once again he positions himself behind Alex; he holds the knife at her throat. "I'm waiting."

Bobby says shaking his head, "Never."

He steps back, "Ah you're a liar. How in the hell could you work with this gorgeous piece of ass everyday and not want to fuck _it_? Well guess what?" The silence is deafening. "I think I asked you a question Bobby. Guess what?"

"What?"

"If you behave yourself and do exactly what I say I will let you fuck this gorgeous bitch. How's that? Does that sound good?"

All Bobby can manage is a look of contempt. Jonathan smiles at him. "Is there something you want to say to me?"

Bobby swallows hard and stares into Jonathan's eyes. "No."

"You're a smart man." He takes a step back. "Now where were we?" He stands between them. "Oh yeah, Alex love, we're waiting." He looks at her. She is frozen. He walks behind Bobby and presses the knife against his throat. "Come on Alex don't make me ruin this nice shirt he has on…………… Oops." A little trickle of blood falls onto the collar of his shirt.

She reaches behind and un-claps her bra. "I knew it. They are beautiful, aren't they?" He bends down to catch Bobby's eye. "You're not looking. Look! Or I'll cut one of those beautiful tits. Is that what you want me to do?"

"No." Bobby lifts his head and reluctantly looks at her.

Jonathan smiles with satisfaction. Alex suddenly raises her arms to cover her bare breasts. "Alex are you cold?"

She answers him weakly. "No."

"Then put your arms down. Bobby can't see." She hesitates. "Bobby, tell her to put her arms down." He says nothing.

Jonathan walks behind her and lightly moves the knife across her face. He cuts her cheek and a small amount of blood flows, "Alex please put you arms down."

"Now that wasn't so hard. Was it Bobby?"

"No," he says barely above a whisper.

Alex drops her arms down to her side. "Alex love." She looks up at him. "Suck on your fingers and then rub your nipples." Her eyes are pleading with him, "Jonathan………."

He gets up quickly and walks over to Bobby. He places the knife to his abdomen. "For every second you make me wait the further this knife will go in." She can see the pain on his face as the blood starts to show through his shirt.

She does as he asks; tears start to well up in her eyes. "You are one hot gorgeous _thing_. What do you think Bobby? See Alex now he can't keep his eyes off you."

She falls to her knees, but through tear soaked eyes she tries to focus on her partner. He seems to be in a great deal of pain but when she catches his gaze she feels a small sense of togetherness.

He returns to his chair. "Alex stand up, come on stand up. You don't want me to hurt Bobby again do you?"

She shakes her head and then stands. She puts her arms down to her side. "I didn't tell you to stop playing with yourself." She continues. Alex watches him as he removes the gun that he has tucked in his pants and sets it on the chair next to him. "Now, Alex my love. Remove your pants."

She doesn't fight him this time she removes her pants. "Good girl."

She starts to remove her panties, Jonathan sits and watches. "Bobby are you watching?" He looks over at him. "Good."

She slowly removes her panties "Gorgeous you're fucking, gorgeous." Alex stands holding her arms across her breasts again and starts to shiver.

"Now tell me honestly Bobby that you don't want to fuck _that_?"

Silence, Alex looks down at her partner again. They comfort each other with looks, neither speaks a word. She falls to her knees once again. "Alex when I want you on your knees I tell you, now stand up." She hesitates. Jonathan leaves his seat and walks over to Bobby and places the blade of the knife on his chest "How many more holes do you want me to put into him?"

Alex starts to cry unable to say a word. She hears a cringe of pain and as she looks up she can see a thin red line across his chest.

"You bitch did you see what you made me do? Now do what I said."

As she starts to stand Jonathan walks back to his chair and sits down. She is crying and her cries only make him more excited. "Oh, Alex love, I know I'm getting a hard on," he unzips his pants and then turns to look at Bobby, "How about you Bobby." He stays quiet. "You're not turning him on at all, what is he gay?"

"No he's not gay and he's not a psychopath either."

"I'll let you get away with that one," he smiles at her. "I think you're going to have to help him along." His smile is ominous, Alex just turns away. "What do you think of that idea Bobby?"

Jonathan gets up from his chair and stands behind him, "Come on Alex, kneel down….right there." He points to a spot in front of them, she hesitates and Jonathan holds the blade of the knife on Bobby's neck. "I'll slash his throat, is that what you want me to do? If I kill him it will be your fault, get over here bitch." Alex walks slowly and she kneels down. Jonathan removes the knife, "Wait not yet," he resumes his seat. For the first time that afternoon Alex is reluctant to look at her partner, she tries to obey but she can't move her arms. "What are you waiting for? Do I have to tell you what to do?" He looks at Bobby, "I know, Bobby, you tell her what you like."

Bobby stays quiet, "You know I thought that he would have been more of a talker but he is very quiet, too quiet………I mean," Jonathan shakes his head as he stands, he pushes Alex with his foot and she falls over. He positions himself in front of Bobby, "Hey!" For the first time that evening Jonathan raises his voice. "What the fuck is the matter with you, come on, you're not bleeding that much."

The few seconds that he turned his back on her was all she needed, Alex gets up quickly and picks up the gun, "Jonathan."

He turns, "What?" The sound echoes throughout the room. That was the last word spoken by Jonathan Fletcher, one bullet to his forehead and he falls quick and hard to the floor.

**TBC**


	7. Different Directions

A/N: I had emailed some of you and stated that the 'secret' would be revealed in chapter nine, it will be revealed in chapter eight. So hang in there one more to go.

**Chapter Seven**

**Different Directions **

Alex remains motionless as she stares at Jonathan's lifeless body. The sound of the gun hitting the floor brings her into focus. She takes a quick glance at her partner and he is staring straight ahead, she hurriedly slips on her pants and blouse.

She kneels down and reluctantly searches Jonathan's pockets for the keys to unlock the cuffs. "I'll have you free in a minute, Bobby." She has to roll him over to get at the other pockets, she curses under her breath. _Nothing_, she exhales. Suddenly she remembers his coat. Quickly she searches and finds her cell phone, which she clips to her pants pocket and the keys. "Finally," she turns to face him, jingling the keys. "I found them." She kneels down and catches the bloodstain on his shirt. She makes a motion to touch it, "I'm sorry Bobby." As fast as she can she unties the rope around his ankles, then unlocks the handcuffs. Bobby has yet to speak.

She throws the last set of cuffs across the room, she kneels down in front of him, she calls his name but he says nothing. She puts her hands on his face. "Bobby what's the matter?" She stands and places her hands on his shoulders, "I'll be right back, I'm going to the bathroom to get a cloth to put on the wound."

She half expected him to be standing or sitting on the couch when she returns, he has remained in the chair. "Come on Bobby let's sit on the couch." She grabs him by his arm and pulls. "Come on," her voice strains as she pulls as hard as she can, "get up." He does not move, "Fine," she lets go of his arm. "If you don't want to move," she unbuttons his shirt and places the towel on the wound. "Hold it there." He remains still; she picks up his hand and places it on the wound, "Hold the towel, Bobby." His hand slips down. With one hand holding the towel she unclips her phone from her pants pocket. "Thank God for speed dial," she says as she punches in two numbers. "This is Detective Alexandra Eames, unit 229, my partner," she pauses and closes her eyes. "And I have been assaulted. I need an ambulance at 27 Beach Crest, Rockaway," she looks up at him. "Now!"

She tosses the phone and it lands on the table, she sits down next to him, "Help will be here soon." She continues to hold the towel against the wound to his abdomen. "Bobby, please say something you're freaking me out." She changes her position and links her arm in his, nudging him to get his attention, he does not respond. With fear in her voice she exclaims, "Goddamnit Goren, say something." She lightly shakes him again. "I don't understand this, what's happened to you?" she says slightly sobbing.

She can hear the sirens but does not leave his side. Four police cars along with Captain Ross arrive at the scene. She hears them at the door. "It's open!" she screams.

Ross is the first to enter, his attention is drawn to the man on the floor, "I….I heard the call come in…" he walks closer to the lifeless body. "Fletcher?" he lifts his head, turns his attention to Goren and Eames. "The only thing I can think of is…. What the hell happened?"

"What the hell do you think," Alex says harshly.

He steps back, holds up his hand, "Sorry, I'm sorry Alex."

Alex remains by Bobby's side as she tells them part of the tale. "Bobby distracted him for a second and that's when I got my chance and I shot him," she says impassively. Alex takes a tighter hold on him.

The captain walks in front of him. "He's awfully quiet." As he bends down to catch his eye the door opens once again, the paramedics have arrived followed by three EMT's. One of the paramedics tends to Bobby while the shorter of the two focuses his attention to Alex. She pushes the man away, "I'm fine take care of him."

After a quick examination the taller of the paramedics, says. "He's in shock."

**Saint John's Hospital **

While Alex is being examined, which she feels is a waste of time; Bobby is being prepared for surgery. After numerous phone calls Ross starts pacing the distance of the waiting room. Doctor Gray meets up with him and informs Ross that he has admitted Alex for the night and that an ultrasound was taken of Goren's abdomen and it revealed that there was blood in the lesser sac.

"What is that?" Ross asks.

"It's a cavity in the abdomen. The knife may have penetrated the anterior and posterior wall of the stomach, piercing the peritoneum. I have contacted Doctor Benjamin Marcus and he will not only close up the wound he will perform an exploratory laparotomy to see if there is any other abdominal disorder."

"Did he lose a lot of blood, is that caused him to go into shock."

The doctor frowns, "I don't know if the loss of blood is severe enough to have caused it." He takes a step forward then stops. "Captain I have notified Doctor Vincent and he is in speaking with Detective Eames."

"I take it Doctor Vincent is the resident psychiatrist."

Doctor Gray nods the doors to the ER opens and lying on a stretcher is a sleeping Bobby. Over the PA, _"Doctor Gray, Doctor James Gray please call extension 3738."_

"I have to go, the procedure on Detective Goren should take about two hours, I will speak to you then."

"Thank you Doctor." Ross finds an empty spot to sit in the waiting room; minute-by-minute family members and colleagues start to arrive, first through the doors, John and Sara Eames. Ross is very sketchy in his recap of the events that caused their daughter to end up in the hospital. Next through the doors, James Deakins. Moments after him, Ron Carver followed by Detectives Logan and Wheeler.

Ross asks, "How, I mean who told you?"

"We heard it over the band and I called Mister Carver and the Captain."

"I'm not a Captain any longer Logan."

"Yeah I know but I just can't call you Jim, Ok?"

Ross fills them in on what occurred at Alex's. "I don't know the whole story but Jonathan Fletcher was there," he clears his throat. "Dead when I arrived. Goren was stabbed and he is in surgery now. The prognosis looks good."

"Have you spoken to Alex since she got here?" Mike asks.

"No, right now she has a visitor, the resident psychiatrist."

"Captain Ross," he turns when he hears his name. "Yes Doctor, how is he?"

"He's gonna be fine, as we suspected the knife penetrated the anterior and posterior wall of the stomach, piercing the peritoneum. With blood mainly in the lesser sac, he cleaned it out and closed the wound. He found no other abnormalities. He's in post-op now."

"Can he have visitors?"

"Tomorrow, not tonight. He'll be asleep till morning."

"Doctor Gray, this is Mister and Misses Eames, Alex's parents."

"You daughter will be spending the night her only injury was a superficial wound to he face but the trauma she endured I thought it best for her to remain overnight. You may go up and visit her." He looks at the faces of the five other people. "Two at a time."

**Alex's Room**

"Detective Eames," a tall brown haired blue eyed man says as he slowly opens the door, knocking simultaneously. "I'm Doctor Philip Vincent the resident..."

"Shrink, who called you?" she says curtly.

"Come on Detective you should know better than most that it is a normal procedure for a psychiatrist to be called in after an assault of this nature."

She nods her head, "Yes I know, so what do you want me to do?"

"Do, Ok I can be blunt, you killed a man, who….."

"A man," she waves her finger at him. "No, I don't think so." She pauses. "How about an animal, no that's insulting to animals," she pulls down the covers and swings her legs off the bed. "I'm fine, you should talk to Bobby, he's the one who's going to need your help."

The doctor sits down on the chair closest to the bed. "Why do you say that?"

"He, he seemed so out of it."

"From what Doctor Gray told me he was in shock."

"Maybe, but to me, after working with him for almost seven years now, I know that it was more."

"Tell me."

"He seemed like he was in another time, as if he closed his mind, afraid to face what was happening."

"Does that bother you?"

"No….maybe….I don't know."

The doctor sits back in the chair; Alex can see by his eyes that he is not buying that answer. Suddenly the door opens; John and Sara Eames enter the room.

Alex expels a sigh of relief, "Mom, Dad."

The Doctor stands and moves to the end of the bed. Alex does the introductions. Doctor Vincent, points his finger at her, "I'll see you later."

As he grabs for the door handle, Alex calls out, "No, it doesn't bother me. Why should it? It's my fault that he was hurt, not his."

Sara sits down on the bed next to her daughter taking her hand, "How? What?...Captain Ross told us that someone came into your house and assaulted you."

Alex impersonally tells her parent the events.

The elder Eames remain silent throughout the story. "Dad can you pour me a glass of water?"

"Huh? Yeah sure," He takes a glance at his wife and shrugs his shoulders. She returns the gesture. He pours the water and hands her the cup.

"Thanks," she takes a sip. "The doctor told me that Bobby had to have surgery but he's alright."

"Yes he is."

"I hope I get a chance to visit him tomorrow." She puts the cup on the stand next to the bed. Expels a long breath, "I need to lie down."

Sara stands as Alex gets under the blanket. "That's a good idea sweetheart, get some rest. We'll be back later."

Alex holds her hand out, "No, no stay. Please stay till I fall asleep."

Without hesitation they agree.

Less then twenty minutes pass and Alex is asleep. "What do we do John?"

"Just be there for her that's all we can do."

**Bobby's Room**

**Early Sunday Morning**

Bobby wakes to a dark room, trying to remember how he got here and amazed that he is here, from the smells he knows that he is in a hospital. The door opens; a middle aged, red haired nurse enters. She is humming a song, a familiar song. He watches her intently as she checks his IV bag. Suddenly the humming stops and she starts to sing.

God looked down and smiled on me.

Took my hand and led me to the sea.

Wanted to show me the world through his eyes.

A soft chuckle is heard from him, she looks down, "Oh you're awake." She continues changing the bag. "I'd ask, how do you feel, but I think I'll pass on that."

"My mother use to sing that song. My God I can't believe I even remember."

"Mine too, my Granddaughter is visiting for a few days and when she woke this morning she wasn't feeling well and I sang it to her, now I can't get it out of my head."

His smile is genuine and she smiles in return, the opening of the door cause them both to look up. Doctor Gray nods at the nurse. "Glad to see you sitting up, Detective," he says as he approaches the bed. "The surgical procedure showed that the stab wound penetrated the anterior and posterior walls of the stomach, you were bleeding internally. Doctor Marcus cleaned it and closed it. You will be sore for a while, which in plane English means you have to stay in bed." He says with an authoritative tone.

"How long do I have to stay here?"

"No longer that seven days. As always with any piercing wound we have to monitor for infection. So take it easy."

Once again the door opens and Doctor Vincent enters, he nods at his associates. Bobby takes a long look at the thirty something man that just entered his room. Doctor Gray does the introductions, "Detective this is Doctor Vincent."

Vincent holds out his hand, "The resident shrink, how do you feel?"

Bobby shakes his hand, "Fine." He turns his attention back to Gray, "How about food?"

"No, no food for another two days. You have to give your stomach walls some time to heal. Tomorrow and again on Wednesday ultrasounds will be preformed to check the healing process." He picks up the chart, "Your vitals are normal; you are running a slight fever but nothing to worry about." He sets the chart back on the hook. "Get some rest," he turns toward Vincent. "Not too long," he says as he passes his colleague.

The red-haired nurse lightly pats Bobby's arm, "I'll see you later."

He smiles as he watches her leave.

"Detec….Bobby, can I call you Bobby?"

"Sure," he finds the remote and pushes the up button on the bed.

The doctor stands at the foot of the bed. "How did you get here?"

"What an odd question." He tries to sit up and move his pillow but the wound to his abdomen halts that feat.

Vincent moves to the side of the bed. "No, it's not," he adjusts the pillow. "How did you get here?"

"Ah….an ambulance?"

"You have no idea, do you?"

He turns his head toward the window. "No….I don't know."

"What's the last thing you remember?"

He rubs his eyes, "Ah….I remember Alex was sitting on the floor and….oh man." He pauses, bolting up in the bed, "SHIT," he tentatively touches his wound. Gasping for air, "Alex, where is Alex? Is she alright?" he asks excitedly.

"She's fine; I had a little chat with her," he checks his watch. "A few hours ago."

"How, how is that possible?" Bobby asks sounding confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Jonathan, he let us live I don't understand that."

"Jonathan is dead, Bobby. Alex shot him." He lifts his head, the doctor studies his face. "You look lost."

_Atta girl_ is his first thought, "I…." he shakes his head. "I don't remember that, why don't I remember that?"

"You were in shock."

He bows his head, a memory flashes. _She wasn't sitting….she was kneeling, kneeling in front of me._ He covers his face with his hands_. No….God….No…. did she? God please no. Alex, I'm so sorry._

"Bobby, you remember something? What? Tell me."

Bobby turns his head quickly and the Doctor steps back. "No I didn't remember anything. I just felt a sharp pain." He lowers the bed. "I need to lie down." With that said, he turns his head toward the window.

Vincent smirks, _yeah. I believe that one_. "I'll be back later, try and get some sleep."

A nod from Bobby is the doctors' answer.

_Why can't I remember_, he holds his head. "Alright," he says aloud then looks around the room, somewhat embarrassed. He rubs his forehead in the hope that it will jar his memory, nothing. His first instinct is to get out of the bed and pace around the room, he pulls off the blanket and when he lifts his body, PAIN, he lets out a shriek followed by an array of curses. He falls back into the bed. The memory of yesterday's events are very clear, the last thing he remembers is Jonathan asking him, _"What do you think of that idea Bobby?" _He keeps reliving the events in the hope that he can get past that part. 'Nothing.' The further he reflects on what occurred yesterday, the more frustrated and fearful he becomes. _Could it be I don't remember because she_…._and I don't want to remember_. He imagines her face, first on her knees. He shakes his head to get that thought out of his mind. Then he sees her face, sitting at her desk. He smiles. Comfort, but not for long, the last words he remembers spoken by Jonathan go through his mind, once again. He rubs his eyes then his face. _Come on think_.

His heart rate starts to increase; his breathing gets heavy and he starts to sweat. A childhood memory of a hospital stay many years ago, filters through his mind. He reaches for the button to call for help. He finds it and presses it more than once. The door opens and Doctor Gray and the red haired nurse arrive at his bedside. The nurse takes his pulse, and then wipes his sweaty forehead. He hears them speaking but it sounds muffled. "He's having a panic attack. Relax Bobby, try and steady your breathing." The doctor administers 0.25 milligrams of Alprazolam. Within minutes, his heart rate slows to a normal pace. He closes his eyes from mental and physical exhaustion and falls asleep.

He sleeps for close to four hours and wakes to a nurse checking his vitals. He watches her as she replaces two bags on the pole. He clears his throat then asks, "What's that for?"

A little started she responds, "This one has morphine," she holds up a tube with a small button on it and places it in his hand. "When you feel pain, just hit the button and the prescribed amount of morphine will be administered." She points again, "and this one is, your lunch."

"Your vitals are normal. Here," she hands him the remote to the television.

After clicking for about ten minutes, he finds CNN. Tosses the remote on the bed, closes his eyes and listens.

Bobby has made a request, much to the dismay of Doctors Gray and Vincent, no visitors. The red haired nurse, Nurse Sherman, also tries to change his mind. He remains firm and they obey his wishes.

For the rest of the day and into Tuesday morning Bobby remains quiet. Vincent does indeed visit him but Bobby is unresponsive to all his questions. Once again he says, "I'll talk to you later," as he leaves the room.

**Saint John's Hospital**

**Cafeteria**

Picking at his lunch is Doctor Vincent. "Hey Phil," Doctor Gray says as he approaches his table.

Vincent looks up, "Hey Jim, what's the good word."

Gray sits down, "You tell me." Vincent gives him a puzzled look.

He leans forward, "Goren and Eames."

He sets down his fork, "They're running….in different directions."

**One Police Plaza**

**Tuesday Afternoon**

Alex has to repeat the events to a small committee, consisting of the Chief of D's, Captain Ross along with Detectives Johnson and Franklin of IAB.

She is asked to leave the room; Ross accompanies her to a small waiting area. "Detective," Ross stands over her. "Alex, I'm sorry." he says sincerely.

"Thanks," she says tersely.

Fifteen minutes pass and she is asked to rejoin them. Johnson the IAB Detective speaks. "Detective after hearing your story and the evidence found at the scene you were," he lifts his eyes from the paper. "Within your right not only as a police officer, but a citizen of New York to defend not only yourself but your partner. Your shooting resulting in the death of Jonathan Fletcher has been ruled justifiable. If and when you are ready, you may return to work."

She stands, holds out her hand and proceeds to shake hands with the panel. "Thank you." She turns to leave, Ross follows her. They enter the elevator; Alex pushes the button for the eleventh floor. Ross waits for her to push the button for the lobby. She does not. The doors open and she brushes past him and straight to her desk. He has to jog to catch up. "No Detective not today. Take some time off."

"To do what?"

He shrugs his shoulders, "Use your imagination, now I want you to go home."

Shaking her head swiftly, "No."

Ross leans down speaking low. "That wasn't a suggestion Detective that was an order," he straightens up. "Until you speak to Olivette you are on leave."

In a huff, she stands and her chair rolls back and hits the desk behind.

**TBC**


	8. Forgotten Secret Part A

**A/N: Since Bobby and Alex are experiencing their own trauma in dealing with what Jonathan put them through, I have split up the chapters, covering the same time period. I left Alex on Tuesday afternoon, now Bobby's Tuesday afternoon. **

**I tried my best to get the secret explained in this chapter but it was not meant to be, so I decided to post this** **chapter in it self in two parts on two different days.**

**Chapter Eight**

**Forgotten Secret- Part A**

**Tuesday Afternoon**

After Bobby's second ultrasound is preformed, Doctor Gray discusses the results with him. "There is no evidence of bleeding and the healing of the stomach wall is progressing satisfactorily."

Bobby asks with a wishful tone. "So, maybe earlier than Saturday?"

Gray taps him on the shoulder, "Maybe," he checks his chart. "I will have the IV removed today and the catheter tomorrow morning, I want you to stay in bed one more day and you're still running a slight fever." He looks to the nurse, "Continue to check his temperature every half hour." He hands the chart to Nurse Sherman. "Oh," he says as he turns to leave. "Get him a dinner menu."

A smile appears on his face, "Food, I can have food?"

"Yes, I hope you enjoy it."

He orders roast turkey, mashed potatoes and a green salad. Around 3 PM, he gets a slight headache and chills. His temperature is taken and his fever has risen to 103 degrees. After a blood and urine test is completed it is determined that, he has contracted a staph infection. Doctor Gray prescribes a series of antibiotic treatments.

His mood was starting to improve, however; the news of the infection causes him to remain unusually quiet and unresponsive, to all.

Nurse Sherman arrives soon after his dinner tray was delivered, "I thought you were anxious for food."

He pushes the tray slightly forward, "Not anymore."

"Bobby please, try and eat something."

His answer, a scowl.

She finishes her duties, "Should I take the food tray away?" He moves the bed tray to the side and lies down. "I'll take that as a yes." She picks up the food tray. "There are some people downstairs wanting to see you." He pulls up the blanket and turns his head toward the window. She shakes her head in dismay then she leaves the room. He lies there quiet and soon after, he falls asleep.

**Wednesday Morning**

Once again he is awakened by a nurse, "Jesus Christ what the hell is the matter with you people, can't you do anything quietly you have the ……." The door opens and Doctor Gray walks in. "Calm down," he says as he walks into the room. "I could hear you down the hall." He picks up the chart. "What's the matter anyway?"

"What does it say this time, huh? What have I contracted today in this den of disease?"

"Nothing, the infection is clearing up and your fever is 99, so calm down, alright, or I'll…."

"What? Are you threatening me with a sedative?"

The doctor hands the chart to the nurse. "Just calm down and if you feel up to I'd like you to get out of bed."

"Get out of bed and go where?"

"Take a walk down the hall, go to the store, get something to read. Anything you want, Bobby. I want you to get out of bed today." He crosses his arms, "Yesterday you were ready to go home."

"Yeah, all right I'll try," he replies sounding insincere.

His breakfast arrives, after staring at it for a time; he realizes that he hasn't had solid food since lunch Saturday afternoon. He picks up the fork and slices into the short stack of pancakes. He finishes the meal and with food in his stomach, the pain has subsided and the chills and fever are gone, his mood improves a great deal.

**Wednesday Afternoon**

His catheter was removed this morning, he has no choice but to get out of bed, "Damn, I have to take a leak." His first thought, call for help, he decides against it. Slowly he sits up in the bed; carefully he swings his legs over the side. The pain is not as intense as it was Sunday or even Monday but he is still sore. One good thing about being tall, he thinks. His legs don't dangle….his feet reach the floor. Using his arms, he pushes himself up and smiles with admiration at his conquest.

Doctor Vincent once again pays Bobby a visit, he finds him just as he is exiting the bathroom. "Good afternoon Bobby," he says as he walks further into the room.

"Afternoon," he shrugs his shoulder. "How good it is? That's debatable," he says as he walks slow and steady back toward the bed. He tilts his head, "Weren't you here this morning?"

"No, I see you are mobile."

"Mobile," he scoffs. "Hardly, I didn't have any choice. I had to get out of bed."

"You can't just lie in that bed…….."

"Yeah, yeah I know." He props up the pillow, "Look it takes a lot out of me getting out of the bed, so if you'll excuse me I need to rest."

Vincent crosses his arms, "How long?"

Bobby turns his head away from the Doctors stare, "How long for what?" He says innocently.

"You're an intelligent man, you tell me."

"Games, is that what you're about?"

"No, I'm not. How about the truth, you laid in that bed Sunday and you remembered something, something that you are afraid to deal with. Are you going to deny that?"

With a cringe of pain, he sits on the bed, pointing his finger at Vincent, "See that's where you're wrong." Slowly he lies down in the bed turning his face toward the window.

"You are one stubborn son of a bitch, Goren. You know that?"

Bobby smiles to himself, "Ah get the subject angry ploy."

Vincent has to chuckle, "Have a good rest, because I'll be back."

"I'm sure you will, you stubborn son of a bitch."

Bobby does indeed have a nap; Hours later, Nurse Sherman once again attends to his needs. "There is another group of people here to see you."

"That's nice," he says with a less than interested tone.

"I think one of them was your partner." She takes a glance at him; he has a troubled look on his face. She takes a step forward to say something and two orderly's enter the room to take him to an examination room for his final ultrasound.

**Thursday**

"I take it Detective Eames never took you up on your offer and came back for a talk."

"You know Jim; I have never met two more stubborn people in my life." He leans forward, "But she was right about something, he does indeed need my help." Gray looks up at his colleague, "His shock at the scene, physiological collapse, emotional trauma. I would say something from his past." He rubs his eyes, "When he was sitting in that chair that afternoon….."

Gray says, "He remembered something?"

"No most likely he felt something. When he was younger the same feeling of helplessness and fear overcame him then and Saturday."

"Like what?"

"Oh it could have been anything," he picks up his coffee cup, taking a quick sip. "Maybe that was the way his parents punished him. Making him sit in a chair for hours at a time, maybe one day he defied them, got up and could have been beaten."

"I did a check of his childhood medical records, Phil. The only time he was taken to the hospital was when he was nine, sever stomach pains, cause unknown. Social services were called in but they could find no evidence of abuse, physical abuse." Gray pours a cup of coffee, gesturing with the pot, "Phil?"

"Yeah sure, thanks."

Gray takes a long sip of coffee, "He's going home Saturday."

Vincent shakes a pocket of sugar into his cup. "Great, I'll never see him again."

**Bobby's Room**

"I had a talk with Doctor Gray and he informs me that you will be going home Saturday," says Doctor Vincent.

Nodding he says, "Yes he told me no more than seven days and he is a man of his word."

Doctor Vincent sits this time, while Bobby sits on the bed. "So," Bobby says. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Oh you're not kicking me out this time."

Shaking his head, "Nah, I respect your," he snaps his finger. "Man, what is the word, persistence."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

With his head down Bobby says, "I….I had this really weird dream last night and I can't get it out of my head." He looks up at the Doctor; Vincent stays silent, giving him the go ahead to talk. "I was in the house where I grew up and I was going down a flight of stairs into the basement. It was very dark down there and I couldn't find the light switch, it wasn't where it is suppose to be. As I was searching for it I felt as if I wasn't alone. I think there was a woman down there, suddenly I felt frightened and when I turned to go back up the stairs, they were gone. The woman kept coming closer but I couldn't see her face. I wanted to find a place to hide," he lets out a long breath. "I remembered that there was a cubby hole down there. I walked to the spot where it was suppose to be, it was gone, it changed it wasn't my basement anymore," he gazes up at the doctor. "I could smell her, she smelled very sweet, like fruit, oranges getting closer and closer. Then before I could see who it was, I woke up." He rubs his eyes, "Everything seemed so familiar."

"Why don't you come to my office?"

"What for?"

"To talk more, change of scenery, get out of this room." He pauses. "The walk, it will give you something to do. Pick one." He leans forward, "Come on Bobby it's time, it's time." Vincent stands.

"Tell me what it means."

Vincent stuffs his hands in his pockets, "To dream that you are in a basement represents a part of your subconscious mind where you have kept your fears and problems hidden. The fact that you are going down into the basement signifies that you are digging deep into your own past and ready to face your fears. You could have felt comfort in your own basement cubby hole but not anymore. You have to find out who was in the basement, you have to face her."

"So, you think it was a woman?"

"The smell, you made a point about the aroma from her, men," he tilts his head. "Usually don't smell like that."

"I suppose you're right."

"Did….did your mother smell like that?"

Shaking his head, "No," he says timidly. Suddenly Bobby stands and cringes with pain for the sudden movement. Waking past Vincent toward the door.

"Are you kicking me out?"

Bobby looks down at the floor shaking is head, "Come on, let's go."

"What did you say?" Vincent says with surprise in his voice.

"I said come on let's go. I can't do this by myself. Lord knows I've tried." Bobby holds the door for the Doctor to pass. They walk quietly down the hallway, side by side."

**TBC**


	9. Forgotten Secret Part B

**A/N: The highlighted Italic's in this chapter are from notes that the doctor is taking.**

**Chapter Nine **

**Forgotten Secret Part-B**

**Doctor Vincent's Office**

They arrive at his office and the Doctor ushers him to a chair. Bobby shakes his head, "I….I think I'll stand for awhile."

The doctor picks up a note pad and decides to take the chair across from his desk. "Well," he says.

Bobby glances at him with a slight frown, "Well what?"

"I got you here," he crosses his legs. "That is an accomplishment in itself."

"Is it my turn to talk now?"

"If you want," Vincent makes eye contact. "Or we can just sit here. It's up to you Goren."

Vincent watches him intently; Bobby finds a spot next to the bookshelves glancing with one eye on the titles. "I was scared is that what you want to hear, you sit in a chair handcuffed not able to move, tell me how you would feel?"

_**He's evading it**_. Vincent jots his thought down, "I'm not judging you Bobby."

"Being forced to….I tried to think of things to say to him but if I tried to play being his friend he'd know I was full of shit. And if I tried to analyze him, get him to talk about his childhood and his parents, it would only piss him off and he wouldn't take his anger out on me he'd hurt Eames." He sits down in the chair running his hands through his hair, "So I just sat there and said nothing!"

"Eames, how come you called her Eames?"

"It's her name."

Nodding his head, he says, "I know that but before when you mentioned you partner you called her Alex."

Bobby remains silent, Vincent does not pursue it. _**He's distancing**_ _**himself from her**_. He watches him as he slouches in the chair, looking up at the ceiling. He mumbles, "My legs went numb."

"What?"

"I said my legs went numb." He adjusts his position in the chair. "The other day I thought about a time when I was nine years old and I went into the hospital."

_**He specifically mentions a certain age**_.

"I had severe stomach pains and I spent the weekend in there," he chuckles. "You know they never could figure out what happened to me. They took all these tests and they revealed nothing. My parents, man what a pair. They spent most of the weekend blaming each other for what happened."

"Were they to blame?"

"What?"

"Your parents, were they responsible for your being there?"

"No," he shakes his head staring at the floor.

_**A very unconvincing no.**_ "What were you suppose to do that weekend?"

"What was I suppose to do that weekend? Jesus Christ it was thirty-seven years ago, I don't remember."

"Yes you do."

"Oh come on man that has nothing to do with anything."

"Then why bring it up?"

He shrugs his shoulders, "I had stomach pain then and now, that's all it is."

"Do you recall that hospital stay often?" He starts to fidget in the chair, "Bobby are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm….I had a panic attack then too. Can you imagine a little kid having a panic attack?" He waves his hand, "Ah, none of this has to do with Billy anyway."

Vincent looks up, "Billy?"

"Huh? What?"

"Billy, you said Billy. Who's Billy?"

"Billy?" he searches his mind for the name. "The only Billy I ever knew was a kid I use to hang out with when I was in the third grade."

"Did Jonathan remind you of Billy?"

"No he was just a kid and we were friends."

"Were, when did the friendship end?"

"The summer before I was to go into the fourth grade."

"Did you guys have a fight?"

"Not that I remember, I just didn't want to go to his house anymore."

"Why?"

He shrugs his shoulders, stares off in the distance, "He had this really cool basement, basement," he chuckles. "More like an amusement park. There was a pool table, dart board, pinball machine," he wags his finger. "And one of my favorites, an air hockey game; I use to win all the time. The pinball machine was fun but you weren't able to tilt it," he smiles remembering, suddenly his face gets ashen. He starts to breathe heavy, bowing his head.

Vincent immediately stands, "Sit back in the chair and concentrate on your breathing."

He waves his hand in his direction, "I'm….I'm alright."

"Bobby did you remember something? Or did you feel something?"

"My legs went numb," he manages to say while trying to catch his breath.

_**He's back to Jonathan?**_

"I told her that my legs felt funny," he speaks staring straight ahead.

"Her? Who was with you, Bobby?" Vincent says sternly, "Bobby who was there with you?"

"His sister, Carol or Karen," he shakes his head………. "Carrie, her name was Carrie."

"Billy's sister?" Bobby nods his head. "How did you get there?"

"I went to Billy's to see if he wanted to come out and play, he wasn't home."

"Who told you he wasn't home?"

"His sister, I turned to leave and she came out onto the porch and asked me if I wanted a cupcake," a nervous chuckle is heard from him. "A chocolate cupcake, she told me that she made them. I said sure." He rubs his eyes, shamefully he says, "I ate a lot of junk food when I was a kid." He claps his hands, "Anyway about three cupcakes later she said that I could go down to their basement and since I couldn't play air hockey, I went to the pinball machine."

"Did she go downstairs with you?"

"Yes she did, she put music on….oh yeah they also had a Wurlitzer Juke box, it was very cool," he chuckles. "It had 45's in it, remember those things?" Bobby looks up at the doctor, "Ah maybe you're too young."

"I remember them; my older sister had hundreds of them." Vincent waits for Bobby to continue but he stays silent. "What happened after she put the music on?"

"I got pissed off at the game and tilted it, the game was over and when I turned to grab the darts she was dancing, I watched her for a few seconds and then I felt a little funny." He takes a long cleansing breath.

"Were you embarrassed or……………?"

"No suddenly I felt, I felt like I was going to faint. I told her that I didn't feel well, she took my hands and lead me to the couch." He stands up suddenly. "Son of a bitch, she put something in cupcakes," shaking his head. "What? I don't know."

"Bobby what happened then?"

"She sat down next to me and asked me a question. I don't remember what. When I looked in her direction her shirt was unbuttoned the first four or five," he shakes his head. "I don't know…..she had a bottle in her hand, it was orange. She….she was drinking something straight from the bottle, oranges." He points his finger in the doctors' direction, "A premixed bottle of vodka and orange juice. When she sat down next to me, I mean she was 16 or 17 years old so she was taller then I was and……..she grabbed me by my chin and turned my face to her and I could see her breasts." He mumbles, "Oh my God."

He turns away from the doctor and walks back to the book shelf. He picks out a book and flips through the pages. "I didn't want to look at her, I just wanted to leave and I tried to get up but for some reason I couldn't move my….my legs went numb." He places the book back on the shelf. "I turned my face away from her, she caressed my cheek then grabbed me by my chin again to move my head to look at her, I can see her face now she was smiling………..she took my hand and placed them on her breasts, moving my hand to caress her. I….I tried to pull away but she was stronger than I was." He exhales deeply then pours himself a glass of water.

"Did you say anything to her?"

Bobby empties the glass then refills it, he answers looking toward the window, "I told her I wanted to go home, she said….don't be afraid I won't hurt you. I like you." He bows his head down, "She leaned forward and kissed my cheek, still holding my hand on her breast, I continuously tried to pull away but it was hopeless she was just too strong." He runs his fingers through his hair. "She asked me if felt anything, I said yes my legs feel numb, she raised her voice a little and said, no not your legs anywhere else. I shook my head, I….I had no idea what she was talking about."

"Did she get upset when you didn't respond?"

"No she didn't, but then she put her hand between my legs, she startled me. I tried to move but she grabbed my arm and pulled me closer. She put one hand on my shoulder and kissed my cheek. She had my zipper down before I knew what happened. She started to fondle me. I….I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, I think I passed out."

Vincent remains silent, Bobby continues, "The next thing I remember is seeing the ceiling and when I looked around the room she was sitting next to me drinking out of the bottle again. She gestured with the bottle wanting to know if I wanted some, I don't remember if I answered her. I tried to get up and I was relieved that my legs felt normal again. I sat up. She grabbed my arm hard and yanked it. She said that this was our little secret….because if you tell your parents they won't believe you. You'll only get into trouble. I said why? She sat back on the couch and took a long drink from the bottle. She took my hand and pulled me toward her. She said because girls don't do these things to boys, boys do these things to girls. She finally let go and I tore up those stairs as fast as I could." He wags his finger, "As I was running up the stairs I heard her say, remember what I said."

He pauses shaking his head, "I ran home, man it seemed like home was a long way away. When I opened the front door…………..I heard them, arguing. As I got closer to the kitchen, I could hear him, he was yelling at her. I remember I thought to myself, now, they have to have a fight now. I should have just gone to my room but I wanted to tell them. I wanted to show her that they do care and that they would believe me." He rubs his face, wishing to be anywhere but here.

"It's hard, I know it is. What were they arguing about?"

"Money, he was trying to convince her that he gave her the money for the house. But of course he didn't he gambled away his paycheck already."

"No," the doctor says sternly.

Bobby looks up and frowns, "No….What? Were you there?"

"You're telling me something that you know now, did you know that then? Did you know that your father was gambling away his paycheck when you were eight?"

He shakes his head, "No I didn't." He stays silent for a moment. "I'm not sure how long I stood there before he noticed me." He squirms in the chair. "You should get more comfortable chairs, these suck and they're too small."

"Lie on the couch," the doctor responds.

"I don't think so."

"The room is large enough, pace around if you feel more comfortable."

Bobby takes him up on the request and begins to pace around the room. "He opened the refrigerator and of course it was empty. He started to yell, '_there's no goddamn food in this fucking house_.' He was staring at the empty box. Then he asked what happened to the beer he bought yesterday. He first accused her of drinking it, which she didn't. She didn't like beer. He was just trying to confuse her. He probably didn't even buy any." He answers the doctor before he has a chance to say, anything. "Yeah, yeah I know I didn't know that then."

"It's alright but stay in the past that's what we have to focus on."

"I don't remember if she said anything. Then he asked her, what she was planning to feed us for dinner. Oh man," he scratches the back of his head. "My brother and I would go through days and days of eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." He chuckles. "Then we'd come home from school one day and there would be a lasagna in the oven." He stops at the window and looks out into the parking lot. "You should work on getting an office with a better view."

"I haven't been here long enough to warrant the office with the view of the woods."

Bobby laughs as he turns to face the doctor. He stuffs his hands in his pockets. "Well I don't know if I want the low man on the totem pole."

"Very funny," the doctor says as a wide grin appears on his face.

"I thought so," he expels a long breath. "He slammed the door which is hard to do to a refrigerator and there were some boxes of cereal or oatmeal on top and they fell to the floor, he kicked the boxes across the room and when he looked up he saw me." He suddenly feels nervous as if he is in that kitchen of thirty-seven years ago.

"Bobby," the doctors' voice brings him back to the present.

"Yeah," he says as he leans against the wall.

"Don't stop now, it was a long time ago, nobody is gonna hurt you now."

"He took a few steps and stopped, I glanced up and the look on his face scared the shit out of me. The first thing he said was what the fuck are you looking at? I wanted to leave but I was frozen," he pauses. "He was a big guy, not as tall as I am now but when you're eight damn he was big son of a bitch. He had big hands," Bobby holds out his hands. "He walked up to me and grabbed me by the shoulders, and he shook me and said why are you always sneaking' around here? Listening, you're always listening. He stopped shaking me and pointed at her. You're that interested in our conversation, well your mother spent the household money most likely on herself. You want to know why? He turned back to me. Grabbed my arm and repeated his question. I think I nodded. Because she doesn't give a shit about you or your brother, she doesn't care about anyone but herself. She stepped forward to protest and she suddenly stopped. He….I think he had convinced her that she did indeed use the money on herself." Bobby returns to the chair. "You see I don't know if you know but my Mom is," he pauses, "Schizophrenic and my Dad used her illness against her to atone for the things that he did. God what a loser, I can't believe that I was on his side back then. When he left, when my Dad left, I hated her I hated her so much."

"Did she stop because he would hit her?"

"I don't think so."

"Did he hit her?"

"Not that I ever saw. He knew exactly what to say to her to make her feel that everything that happened in the house was her fault because of her illness."

"Did he convince you that she didn't care?"

He nods his head, "Yes he did." He once again squirms in the chair. "He was so angry, she didn't care, and I thought she was right, Carrie was right. They wouldn't care and they'd never believe me." He rubs his face.

"Bobby, if there is one place in this world where a child should feel safe and secure is their home."

"She didn't hurt me but….Man she picked the right kid."

"They usually do. She needed to take her anger and sadness and put it on some one smaller and weaker; looking at you now I have to really tax my imagination."

Bobby slouches in the chair staring up at the ceiling, "Man I'm tired."

"You should be," Vincent places his hand on Bobby's shoulder. "That's a hell of a secret you've been keeping to yourself."

"I was to go to Billy's birthday party at his house."

"What?"

"You asked me before what was I suppose to do that weekend. Billy was having a birthday party at his house. His Mom called and asked my Mom and she of course said yes, but I couldn't go back there." He looks to the doctor, "I made myself sick," he exhales. "Oh man." He rubs his forehead. "I never told my brother either."

"Your brother, your brother is older than you?"

"Yes," Bobby nods. "I lived in a house with three other people and I….I was always alone," He sits up in the chair, "Frank, he's a lot like my Dad, likes to gamble but he's been battling drug abuse for years….in other words any vice to make excuses for his life."

"You learned a lesson standing in that kitchen that afternoon, eight years old and you knew that you couldn't depend on these people….the one day that you needed them they weren't there for you. They were too involved in their own lives; you learned maybe unconsciously that you had to take care of yourself. Maybe that's why you seemed to have survived your family."

Bobby stands and extends his hand, "Thanks, thanks for being more stubborn than I am."

"See you tomorrow."

Bobby suddenly turns, "Tomorrow?"

"Yes," Vincent stands. "You've been avoiding your friends and your partner for days now and I don't think it has anything to do with what happened to you when you were eight."

**TBC**


	10. Alex on the Mend

**Chapter Ten**

**Alex on the Mend**

Ross looks into her eyes, fear is all he can see, he steps forward, "Detective," he reaches for her, "Alex I'm so very sorry. That was an insensitive thing to say. Please except my apology."

She nods, picks up her bag and brushes by her CO. She pushes the button on the elevator, the doors opens and she steps inside, wiping the tears from her eyes, as the doors close. "Home, can I ever go home." The doors open to the ninth floor and an unfamiliar face steps in. _I wonder if he knows what happened to me. _The two ride the elevator down to the garage in silence. Alex stays behind to let the stranger exit first.

She walks quickly through the parking lot, passing her is Logan and his new partner Nola Falacci. Logan nods to her, "Eames, how are you?"

Alex stops short, "How am I?" she whispers. _I wish I knew_. Turning her head away from the couple, "Fine, I'm fine Logan." She jogs to her vehicle. Once inside, she starts up the car, "Where am I going to go?" The hospital is her first thought. She went into his room on Sunday morning but he was asleep. When she left the hospital, Doctor Vincent told her that Bobby requested that he didn't want visitors. She puts the car in reserve and the wheels squeal as she drives out of the lot onto the street. One eye on the road and one eye on her cell phone she calls the hospital, it is as it was this morning, no phone calls, either. She tosses the phone onto the passenger seat. She decides to drive to the hospital anyway.

**St. John's Hospital**

Walking quickly she enters the hospital, stopping at the reception desk, "Robert Goren's room."

The silver haired woman keys in some information on the computer keyboard, shakes her head as she looks up. "I'm sorry Miss but he is not seeing visitors." Abruptly Alex turns, "That stupid son of a bitch," she says under her breath. She turns back and walks up to the desk, "Could you do me a favor and call his room and tell him that Alex needs….wants to see him."

The senior citizen looks to the computer screen again, "You're the one who has been calling. The reason that we could not connect you to his room is that….he doesn't have a phone in his room, Miss I'm sorry."

Feeling defeated and hurt she walks slowly out the door and onto the sidewalk, she walks off the curb and comes within inches of getting hit by a car, the man inside curses her out, she continues to walk not acknowledging him.

_He blames me and he's right it was my fault that he was hurt_. For close to five minutes she walks around the parking lot, as it starts to rain she comes upon her car. Opening the door a thought enters her mind. _Where, where am I going to go? My parents' house? No, I can't go back there, they mean well but they treat me as if I'm made out of glass. If I hear my Mom say to me one more time_, imitating her mothers voice. "Honey everything will be alright, time heals all." _I'll lose it I know I will. _She starts up the car.

Pulling the car into traffic, she comes upon the office building of Doctor Elizabeth Olivette. She finds a place to park, turns off the ignition. Taking a hold of the door handle, she remains in the car staring up at the building, _Just go in and talk to her and_ _she'll let you go back to work, work_. She nods her head, _that's what I need. I need to go back to work._

She introduces herself to the woman at the reception desk, "I don't have an appointment but…." The young woman holds up her hand, "Just a minute," she phones the inner office. "Doctor, Detective Eames is here."

Suddenly the door to her office opens, "Detective Eames please come in, you've picked the perfect time and day," Olivette holds the door as Alex slowly enters the room.

"Sit please."

"How, I….I mean who," she says as she sits down.

"I received a phone call this morning from Captain Ross…."

"He told you what happened?" she says excitedly.

"No just the situation and he informed me that you would, in the hope that you would be stopping by and I'm glad you did."

_Ok let's get this over with. I'm not the one with the problem it's Bobby._

Olivette takes the chair next to her, "Alex, I know this is going to sound so typical but tell me your dreams."

Alex frowns, "My dreams?" She turns her head away, "I don't think I remember them."

"Alex," she says sternly. "Please try."

"I haven't had any dreams."

"Believe it or not your dreams may uncover…."

Alex suddenly stands, "I said I haven't had any. Want to know why? Because every time I close my eyes," she sniffles then wipes her eyes. "I see his face. I can't….I haven't slept in days." She grabs a few tissues from the box on the desk then sits down.

Olivette taps her arm, "Tell me, right now what are you thinking?"

Shaking her head, "Thinking, I'm not thinking about anything I'm angry, I'm too damn angry to think."

"You should be angry, don't be ashamed that you are."

"You know who I'm angry at the most?" Alex continues without waiting for a response from the Doctor. "Myself."

Olivette frowns, "Why? Why are you angry at yourself?"

"I'm a police officer I didn't notice that that little slime ball was watching me and following me." She pats her chest, "I….I should have known. Not only was he after me he was after Bobby he wanted us to perform for him." A nervous chuckle is heard from her, Olivette asks "What?"

"Bobby frustrated the hell out of him, you know I may have shot him but if Bobby didn't act as he did Jonathan would never have turned his back on me, that's how I got the chance and I shot him. Therefore, I come off looking like the hero but it wasn't me. It was Bobby," she says breathlessly. "All those wounds he endured were because of me, you see this?" Alex points to the little scratch on her face. "That's all, that's all I got this little scratch."

"Have you spoken to Bobby since?"

"No, he's not taking phone calls and he doesn't want any visitors, I think it's me that he doesn't want to see."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because it was my fault, everything that happened it was my fault and with him being the kind of man he is would rather avoid the situation then face me." She starts to cry, "I….I need to see him," a few more tissues, "I'll bet he hates me now."

"Alex you really believe that?"

Alex looks up, shaking her head. "No," she wipes her eyes. "But why? Why doesn't he want to see me? I don't understand."

"I wish I had an answer for you, people do indeed react different ways to the same situation." Olivette stands and moves back behind her desk picking up a water pitcher. "Alex would you like some water?"

"No," she shakes her head. "No thank you."

"Alex….you have to put aside for a moment what you think Bobby is feeling and work on your own feelings." Olivette smiles, "Yes how do you feel?"

"Afraid, afraid that I will never be who I was."

"Alex Eames or Detective Alex Eames?"

Alex sits back in the chair, "What's the difference?"

"Plenty, you don't see the difference. I am not a cop but as I said before I have spoken with many and the one thing that I always come across is that you," she points to her. "Yes you are included in this, is that you all feel that if you become emotional to the situation that you were put in that you are not a good cop."

"We have to put our emotions aside every day from the horror that we see."

"I understand that but you also have to be honest with yourself. Like that old saying 'let it all hang out'."

"It's hard."

"I know but by coming her you've taken a big step." The phone rings, Olivette stands, "Excuse me," Alex nods.

"Yes, Veronica what is it, I'm with a patient."

"Oh my God," Olivette holds her hand to her forehead, "I forgot all about that. Yes, tell them I'll be there. Veronica what hours do I have open tomorrow?" She hangs up the phone. "I'm sorry for the interruption, please forgive me."

"It's alright, are you late for something?"

"No, I have plenty of time."

Alex slouches in the chair, putting her head back, staring at the ceiling, "I wish….I wish I could go to sleep tonight and wake up and all this would be over."

"Don't wish it away Alex it won't happen, you have to face it head on."

Alex sits up and reaches for the water pitcher, "I feel so alone. I know my family is there for me but it's hard to talk to them I…oh the hell with it, if that's the way he wants it….I don't need him."

"You think if you keep saying that, that it will be so?"

"I suppose not. My mind is racing with what I want and how I feel."

The clock on the mantle chimes 2; Olivette looks up at the clock, "Alex I would like to suggest that you come back tomorrow, at 2 PM. Is that alright with you?"

Alex stands and extends her hand, "Yes that's fine Doctor I'll see you tomorrow."

Alex turns to leave, "Alex would you like for me to prescribe a sleeping pill? I think you need to get some must needed sleep."

Alex nods, "Yes thank you." Olivette scribbles on a RX pad and tears off a page handing it to her.

"Alex."

Alex turns back to face her, "Yes Doctor what is it?"

Olivette steps up, opening the door, "Be sure to take them."

"I will, I will."

"See you tomorrow, Alex."

Alex nods as she crosses the reception area, she turns back. "Yes Doctor tomorrow." She opens the door steps out into the hall closing the door behind her.

Alex picks up the prescription and returns to her car, _back to my_ _parents_, she shakes her head. _No I can't_, _my sister? No she'll hover over me like a Mama bear. _She flips open her phone and calls her friend Marcy. Without hesitation, Marcy welcomes her old friend to come and stay with her. She exhales as she calls her parents home. After three rings, her mother picks up the phone, _"Hello."_

She closes her eyes and holds her chest, "Hi Mom, its Alex."

"_Hi honey where are you? You left so early this morning."_

"Yes I had an early meeting with the brass and I went to see a Doctor. The reason I'm calling is….Is Dad there?"

"_Yes he is, hold on." _Muffled voices are heard_, "Yes Alex what is it that you need?"_

"I'm going to stay at Marcy's tonight and I was wondering if you could please go to my place and get me some clothes."

"_Marcy, why are you staying there? You know you are welcome here."_

"I know that Dad and I appreciate it, it's just that I feel I'm in the way."

"_Don't be silly, honey you know that is not true."_

"Please Dad…."

"_Alright I understand, what clothes do you need?"_

"Just get me some jeans and a few blouses from the closet; also some underwear and….maybe take Mom with you."

"_Alright, I think that's a good idea."_

"I'll meet you there."

"_Alright Alex we'll see you later, I wish you'd change your mind." _

"Thanks Dad, see you later."

**Later That Day**

Alex unpacks her bag and changes into blue sweatpants and a baggy T-shirt. She takes two of the sleeping pills, props up some pillows on the couch and soon she is asleep.

A tap on her shoulder startles her and she reacts by taking a swing at the person, whom she finds to be Marcy. "Jesus Marcy I'm sorry but you scared me."

"No Alex I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that to you, forgive me."

Alex sits back on the couch rubbing her eyes, "I forgive you."

Marcy stands up straight, "Hungry?"

_I should be hungry but I'm not_. "No not really."

Marcy holds out her hand, "Come on you have to eat something."

Alex pushes herself up, "Yes I guess you're right."

**Wednesday Afternoon**

**Olivette's Office**

"I finally was able to sleep a little last night but with the aid of sleeping pills."

"I'm glad you took my advice and took the pills and it's good to see you this afternoon."

"Why do you say that? Didn't you think I'd show up?"

"After many years of counseling police officers most of them only come here under orders and if they come more than once, let's just say it doesn't happen that often."

"I must be honest with myself; I did feel a little better talking with you. I realize that there are some things that you can not handle alone. But I have a question for you, how do I get my family to….let's see how can I say this." She rubs her temples, "To loosen up. I know they mean well but when I told my parents that I didn't want to spend the night there I could tell they were very upset. I'm a grown woman and they treat me like I'm going to crumble if they aren't with me every minute of the day. That's why I had to get out of there."

"When something like what happened to you…."

Alex interjects, "Yes it happened to me and they think they are helping but they don't want to talk about it. I have to tell you that when I was in the hospital, I told my parents the story and now that I think about it, I must have seemed extremely disassociated with what Jonathan did, my God I rattled off the events like a robot. I'm confused as to how I feel. I wish and I want everything to be they way they were, useless right?"

"Bad things happen to good people and as far as your parents you're still their child no matter how old you are they just want to protect you and they weren't able to."

She nods, "Yes I know but they think that if I stay there with them then everything will be alright. However, it won't. Things will never be the same, will they? My partnership may be over and when I was at the station on Tuesday I felt as if everyone was talking behind my back, thanking God that it didn't happen to them."

"That's a normal reaction Alex. Most likely no one is talking."

"I called him this morning and again he is not accepting phone calls, that big stupid jerk."

Olivette has to smile, "You two are very close aren't you?"

Alex sits up in the chair and says defiantly, "Not as close as that," she relaxes. "Yes we are. Though I've never told him or he has said to me I would say that he is my best friend." Alex sniffles back tears trying her best not to cry, she fails. "Every time I would look at him he was looking me in the eyes and for some strange reason I felt safe." She fidgets in the chair. "I need to see I, I'm not sure why but I have to see him. Why is he deliberately avoiding me?"

"You know him better than anyone, why do you think?"

"Could it be that he wants to sever the relationship?" She shakes her head. "I can't let him do that. I won't. He needs….I need him."

Olivette sits back in the chair "Then I suggest you do something about it."

**Thursday Night**

**The Eames Home**

Alex reluctantly accepts a dinner invitation from her Mother. The only reason she said yes was that her brother and sister and their families would be there. The more people the better she thought, besides Marcy was away on business overnight. She wasn't ready to be alone.

Alex pours herself a glass of wine, "Alex if you want you can stay with us tonight."

Alex takes a few sips of wine before answering, _leave here around 9_ _and then go right to bed_. "Thanks Laurie, I'd like that. I'm just not ready to be alone and I can't stay here." She points to their parents, "I know they mean well but they were hovering over me like I was a baby. I couldn't take it."

"Dinner's ready everyone," Sara Eames says.

"Mom you take a seat we'll get the food," Laurie says. She gestures to Alex and her sister-in-law Theresa, for help.

Michael Eames, takes the seat next to his father, "You know what that means, don't you guys."

Philip Daly, Laurie's husband, answers, "What?"

"We have clean up duty."

Laurie sets down a platter of roast beef, "You've got that right brother of mine."

The dinner conversation went from sports to family to politics. Alex remained quiet throughout. The table is cleared of the dinner dishes and Laurie serves the dessert, French pastries and apple pie. "That's an odd combination," John Eames says.

Alex finishes the wine in the glass, "What difference does it make Dad you'll eat it anyway."

"I was just making an observation," he stands then places his hands on the table, "I think you've have enough to drink, Alex."

She sets the glass down on the table, "You think so huh?"

"Yes Alex I think so too," Michael says. He reaches for the bottle that is positioned in front of her. Alex does not argue with them, "Ok," she sits back in the chair. "Can we all stop acting as if nothing has happened? I was almost killed and you people act as if I just got back from the mall." She stands up a little too quickly and almost loses her balance. "And my partner, a man that I have known for seven years acts as if I have leprosy, he doesn't want to talk to me or see me."

"I always thought he was a little flaky," John Eames says smiling.

Alex slams her fist on the table, "Excuse me."

Her brother lightly taps her shoulder. "Come Alex you know what he means."

"What does he mean Michael?"

"Alex you've said it yourself that he does do some unusual things."

Alex frowns, "Yes I have said that but that was about work," she sits back down. "No one understands him and you want to know something?" She wags her finger at them. "Right now neither do I."

"He's a good cop, Alex," John says. "We all know that."

Alex lifts her head slowly, "He's a good cop, who cares about that. He's a man, a good man. He endured pain for me." She buries her face in her hands sobbing. She shakes her head suddenly trying to regain her composure. "He cared more about me then I did him. I wasn't hurt like he was….he just sat there and didn't say anything."

"He just sat there? What was he suppose to do Alex?"

"Talk to him, get inside his head, but nothing he said nothing," she gazes at the faces around the table. "I know, I know what you're thinking, that he's a coward."

"A coward?" her father responds.

She raises her voice along with her body. "NO!" she directs her anger at her father. "You weren't there you have no right to judge him!"

Laurie reaches for her, "Alex calm down."

Alex pulls her arm away, "No one was there but the two of us." Shaking her head, "You'll never know what we went through." She turns to leave. "I'm out of here."

"Alex, please wait," Laurie says.

"No I have to get out of here, leave me alone, Laurie." With a quick pace she leaves the room.

"I can't, I won't let you leave this way."

Alex opens the front door hastily and it hits the wall.

"John, go after her."

Laurie holds up her hand, "I'll go."

"John that was an insensitive thing to say about Bobby."

"I was trying to get a rise out of her but it backfired. I thought that it would force her to open up to us."

Laurie catches up to her older sister as she grabs for the car door handle, "Alex you say we'll never know, yes that's true, because you won't tell us."

"Tell you, those people in there they don't want to know, they figure if they don't talk about it then it will all disappear."

She opens the door then slams it, "That's not true Alex."

The key in the ignition, the car in gear she drives away.

Laurie enters the house, this time she slams the door. "Well that went well." She says sarcastically.

"She's gone?" Sara says.

"Yes she's gone. She says that we don't want to talk about. I tried to tell her that we do but…" she pulls out a chair to sit down. "Shit what a mess."

"When she told us the story that night in the hospital it was as if she was writing a police report, no emotion at all," John says.

"For a brief moment it's as if she wants to talk then she clams up or gets angry. One minute she is angry with us, the next herself then Bobby and then she defends him." Laurie pours herself a cup of coffee. "I can't begin to imagine what and how she is feeling. I think she may be having trouble understanding them herself. She told me that she has gone to counseling twice this week even went to the station for a few hours today."

"Yes she told me that she went to see a doctor yesterday," Sara says.

"It's a simple case of," Michael slices into the apple pie, "A very large communication gap."

"It's not that simple Michael."

"Unfortunately Mom I agree with Michael, none of us know how to deal with something like this. Watching someone you love in so much pain. We're trying not to be overbearing and yet keeping a distance."

"So what do we do?"

"Let her know….as we have, Sara. That we are here for her and when she's ready to talk, we'll listen. That's all we can do."

**TBC**


	11. Bobby on the Mend

**Chapter Eleven**

**Bobby on the Mend **

Alex has driven over the bridge and into Manhattan before she realizes, "Where the hell am I going?" Checking the street signs, "I'm three blocks from Marcy's," she shrugs her shoulders.

Once inside her friends' apartment Alex heads for the bathroom, during the drive home her thoughts were of Jonathan, _Jonathan the one who is responsible for all this, "_Burn in hell! You sick, you sick son of a bitch!" She screams the words in the hope that they will relieve the pain inside, "Fry, you little prick! I think you're too evil for hell!" her tirade ends as she shreds off her clothes and steps into the shower. A feeling of grief overwhelms her. She slowly slides down to the shower floor, sitting with her knees up, water streaming down on top of her, she begins to cry.

**Later that Evening**

Her cell phone has been ringing and she ignores the calls, she later checks her voice mail, Laurie, her mother and then her brother. As she is staring at the phone, it rings and it startles her, she drops it on the floor. "Shit." Upon picking it up she is hoping that it is Bobby, she checks the number, her sister. "Yes Laurie I'm at Marcy's I know I said I'd stay with you but I changed my mind. I will talk to you tomorrow, promise. I need to lie down."

"_Ok Alex I'll keep you to your word."_

"Laurie I'm fine." Click.

Laurie hangs up her phone, "No your not, my God Alex you are more stubborn than Dad."

She finds a bottle of chardonnay in the refrigerator and pours herself a glass. Taking the glass with her into the living room, she clicks on the TV. She props up the pillows uses her friends quilt and sit with her legs up on the couch.

**Friday Morning**

Alex wakes to the sound of the television that she left on all on night, a faint smile crosses her face. "Thank God that night is over." No dreams, it's hard to dream when you don't sleep. She makes herself a cup of tea. No breakfast again this morning, her appetite has diminished.

**Doctor Vincent's Office**

**Friday Morning**

"Bobby are you ready for tomorrow?"

"I suppose, I called my Mom yesterday afternoon, told her that I came down with the flu. She believed me." He takes the spot next to the bookshelf once again, scanning the titles. "You know I did a great deal of thinking last night, about my Dad. Whether or not I realized it before or just didn't want to admit it I'm a lot like him."

"How are you like him?"

"He was a talker, could charm people into believing anything he said." He removes a book and skims through it. "In a way I do that, I lie to people. I've gotten people to admit to things that they thought they never would." He roughly returns the book to its spot on the shelf. "Except Jonathan," he turns to look out the window. "I just sat there."

"You believe that if you said the wrong thing that he would hurt Alex."

"Yes I know but….I couldn't help her. I wanted to…"

"Bobby what were you suppose to do, huh? Turn into Superman and break through the handcuffs."

"No," he smirks, "I know that. Damnit, I should have known. I should have known that Jonathan was going to go after her," he says excitedly.

"Oh so now you're psychic."

"It was the way he looked at her in the interrogation room; he never took his eyes off of her." He takes the seat next to the doctor, "Jonathan knew that he scared her and he loved it. Not only was Alex a woman she was a cop and a person of authority, his dream come true." He makes a fist and hits the arm of the chair, "You know when we checked him out, he's a genius. He not only read books, he devoured them, Forensics, psychology." He points to the doctor, "He would probably fool you."

"Is that what's bothering you?"

"Huh?"

"You said that you have the ability of talking to people and getting them to confess, is that what's bothering you? That you failed with Jonathan."

"We lost our star witness, but we all knew he was guilty but the DA decided to drop the charges and let him free."

The doctor stands and positions himself in front of him, "Come on be honest with yourself. You think that if you would have been able to talk to him at the station maybe then you would have deflated his attention on Alex and then…."

"No!" he screams, he stands and the doctor has to look up. He nods his head, "Yes, yes alright!"

"You are not responsible for what happened."

He mumbles, "Yeah, sure."

He slumps down in the chair. Placing his elbows on his thighs and holding his head. "My God what she must have thought when I zoned out." He sits back in the chair purposing avoiding the doctor's gaze. "Let's see what adjectives can I find to describe how I reacted…Coward, weakling." He rubs his chin, "I'll be known as the partner who crumbled under pressure while my female partner," he raises his voice, "saved my ass!"

"You reaction was from a traumatic event and the feelings and emotions that you felt when you were eight came back, the helplessness, fear and even the numbness in your legs from not being able to move."

"You don't have much experience with cops, do you?"

"What does that have to do with…."

"Maybe it's time to quit."

The doctor checks the time, "Quit you've only been here twenty minutes."

"What? No not this," he shakes his head. "The force."

"Jesus why?"

"Oh come on man, don't be…." He stretches out his arms as he stands, "Look where I am."

"Oh and you are the only cop who's needed some psychological help in the history of the NYPD."

Bobby waves him off, "You don't understand."

"Maybe I don't," he crosses his legs. "Tell me."

Bobby turns abruptly and it startles Vincent, "Call the Chief of Detectives and ask him what he thinks of me?"

"I'd rather you tell me."

"I don't play by their rules and that annoys him, them, and everyone!" He runs his fingers through his hair. "Its better this way, Monday I'll resign. Everyone will be happy all around."

"What about Alex?"

"What about her?"

Vincent raises his eyebrows, "Don't you think you should discuss this with her?"

"Why? It's my decision it has nothing to do with her."

"Yes it does," he grabs his arm. "She's been here everyday wanting to see you."

"She's just being….No; no it's better my way. Lets her off the hook. This way she doesn't have to lie and say it doesn't matter. I don't need that crap."

"I was under the impression that you thought highly of her."

"She's just my partner, that's all." Stuffing his hands in his pockets as he walks toward the window, "Besides she doesn't need me, she has her family."

"That's where you're wrong."

"You don't know the Eames family, her Dad was a cop. I can imagine what he thinks of all this. His daughter having to….."

"You have to stop imagining what people are thinking, Bobby. If you are that interested, I suggest that you talk to her."

Never turning away from the window he says, "I was just wondering, honestly I really don't care what people are thinking."

"Keep saying that," the doctor walks up next to him. "And maybe then you will convince yourself that you don't care what," he pauses. "Alex thinks."

Bobby turns heading for the door, "I'm gonna go lie down," he opens the door. "Maybe I'll see you later."

"Think about what I said." The doctor says as the door closes.

**Friday Afternoon**

**One Police Plaza**

Alex offered to help do some research, Logan and Fallaci's latest case. She remains at the station for five hours; she makes a decision to visit the hospital again. However, this time she has a plan.

**St. John's Hospital**

As she walks up to the reception desk, she holds up her gold shield, "Good afternoon, I'm Detective Eames and I am here to interview a victim of an assault, Robert Goren."

A quick click on the computer, the older man looks up, a twinge of nervousness creeps in, she stands firm. "Room 354," he points to the left, "The elevator is right down this hall."

She nods, "Thank you." _Why didn't I think of that, days ago_, she giggles silently. The elevator doors open to the third floor, 100 yards down the hall and she comes upon room 354. She stands rigidly staring at the door. Taking a deep breathe she pushes the door open.

**TBC**


	12. Reconciliation

**Chapter Twelve**

**Reconciliation**

Bobby is lying on his bed with his hands behind his head. The sound of the door opening causes him to turn toward the noise. He smirks when he sees who it is, part of him wants to welcome her while another part wishes she would go away, "Did you sneak in?" he asks turning his gaze away from her.

"Yeah," she takes another step. "Well showing my badge helped."

"Well then you can just sneak back out," he says with a commanding tone.

Alex takes a small step while her hand is on the door. "How long are you planning on avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding you. I just….I don't want to see anyone. Can you understand that?" he says harshly.

"Yes of course." She lets go of the door and it closes. He looks up, mumbling the words, "_I can't do this now," _refusing to look at her.

He hasn't shaved since Saturday morning and as she walks into the room she points at him. "They won't let you have any razors?"

She can see a smile appear on his face, he tries not to laugh but he can't suppress it, "Oh Jesus Christ, come on in," he waves her closer. "Considering you're in already."

"I like it." She smiles, the first smile on her face in six days. "You look good with a beard."

He swings his legs off the bed and sits up, "Thanks, it itches a bit," he scratches his chin. "But then it gives me something to do. So, how are you?" he asks with concern.

"Fair, you?"

He shrugs his shoulders, "About the same," he looks her over, frowning. "You look thin."

She walks closer and sits down in the chair next to the bed. "I've lost almost ten pounds."

He raises his eyebrows, "Wow."

"You're the only person who has noticed or said anything. I saw my family last night and they didn't say a word." She looks down at the floor. "They treat me like I'm made out of glass."

"Can you blame them?"

"I wish they'd talk to me, all they ever say is everything will be alright. And then immediately change the subject and talk about something totally inane."

"The only major crisis your family has ever been through isn't it?"

"What?" she says surprisingly.

"Nothing," he lowers his head, "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for."

"Forget it," she smacks his leg. "It's alright."

"Well maybe it's you," he says pointing at her.

"Me?" she says innocently.

He tilts his head to catch her eye, "Yes you. You don't talk about it and they are waiting for you to begin so they don't say anything."

She sits back in the chair nodding her head, "You could be right."

He lies back on the bed resting on his elbows, "It's just a thought, I mean…."

"You and me both," she pauses. "It's not easy."

"No, no it's not." Suddenly she gets quiet and stares at him, "What? What's the matter?"

Pointing at him, "Your clothes, where did you get those clothes?"

"It seems that Vincent, you know the resident shrink, borrowed my house keys and asked someone to go to my place and pack a bag for me."

"Why? Why would he do that?"

"I think that he believes if people are dressed in their own clothes they feel more comfortable, it's like when you get the flu and you start to feel a little better once you change out of your pajamas….you want to get out of the house and back to your normal routine. It's a….let's just say it worked for me."

She looks around the room, "They changed your room from Sunday, good thing I checked in at reception. I would have gone to the fifth floor."

"Yeah," he chuckles as he looks around the room. "This is where they put the….nut jobs."

She stands up and it startles him, "Stop that, don't say that."

"Why not? I…."

She interjects, "You are not in the psych ward Bobby, so knock it off." She says firmly.

He smirks, "I'm just trying to get use to the looks and attitude of….Are you working?"

"Don't change the…." _Let it go for now_, shrugging her shoulders, "Sort of."

He frowns, "Sort of. What does that mean?"

"I'm physically there but I feel like a zombie just going through the motions not really participating in anything. I'm more like a gopher helping here and there, total meaningless bullshit."

"Why did you go back so soon?"

She stands up, placing her hands on her hips. "You sound like Ross and everyone else. What the hell should I do?"

"I don't know;" he says defensively, "Go on a trip. Do something different."

"Oh you mean like you," she says sardonically.

He stands, "Screw you," walking quickly past her.

"Bobby I'm sorry." She tries to grab his arm but he pulls away. He walks toward the door and opens it, pointing toward the hall. "Get out."

She doesn't move. "I said get out!"

"No," shaking her head, "I'm not ready to leave. We've both taken cheap shots at each other. Can we please talk? I need to talk to you," she says faintly sobbing. He lets go of the door and resumes his spot on the bed.

She sits down in the chair. An uncomfortable silence has taken over, much the way the hours were on their first case, those many years ago.

She fidgets in the chair, then crosses her legs as he crosses his arms, evading her gaze, "It's not that I didn't want to see you I was...I felt." He pauses. "I let you down and I thought that avoiding you and everyone would make things easier….for me."

Alex uncrosses her legs, thankful for the fact that he spoke first, "Oh and how did you let me down?"

"I never felt so useless in….I tried and tried to think of something brilliant to say to him, not just that day but when we had him in interrogation. If only I would have been able to diffuse the situation and ended it sooner, you wouldn't have had to go through that. I'm so sorry for what he did to you," he lowers his head staring at the floor.

"Don't blame yourself." She moves closer. "Bobby, look at me." She grabs his chin and slowly lifts his head, trying to get him to look at her. He moves forward and takes her hand. She smiles as her hand completely disappears in his. "I'll admit I was waiting for you to say something to him but after it was over I realized that if you did whether it was wrong or right, Jonathan's reaction would have been very violent and he would have punished me not you."

"I was worried that you thought I was a...a coward, I'll bet that's the word that's going around."

"You're not a coward and that's not what they are saying."

"Yeah sure, don't lie to me."

"I honestly don't know or care what those ignorant feeble minded people, who we have no respect for, are saying and since when do you give a shit what other people think? Besides you did everything right."

"It doesn't feel like it."

"I'm not sure how many guys could control their anger that way. Anyone else and they would have threatened him and God knows what he would have done, to me." She grabs the arms of the chair as her anger builds, turning her head away. "That little fucker," she says through her teeth.

She releases her hold and exhales, "You know when people say that they wish they could get the guy in a room who hurt someone in their family and beat the crap out of them?" He doesn't respond to the question, "It doesn't matter. It doesn't change anything. The son of bitch is dead but what he did is still very fresh in my mind."

She makes a fist and hits the arm of the chair, "Oh my God. Why?" she starts sobbing. "Why did he do that to me?" She lowers her head, wiping her eyes. Bobby reaches for her, takes a hold of her hands, and pulls her up. She wraps her arms around him as he pulls her closer. She feels safe and warm in his embrace, the same way she felt when they would make eye contact that afternoon. Just looking into his eyes, she felt a sense of togetherness. He rubs her back, holding her gently. They don't speak, they don't have to. After a minute maybe two calmness and security envelop her. She snuggles in closer, not ready to let go and he doesn't release his hold. _He really does feel like a big ole teddy bear_.

She steps back and lays her head on his chest. He kisses the top of her head and she smiles through tears. He helps her to sit down. Bobby holds out a box of tissues. Alex takes 1-2-3-4-5 tissues. "Alex?"

"Yeah."

"Take the box."

She laughs as she pulls out two more tissues. "Here you need a few."

He takes them from her and wipes his eyes. He sits down on the bed. "Bobby?"

"Yeah."

"Can you tell me what happened? You scared me."

He touches her hand, "I….something happened to me when I was a kid and as Vincent puts it….the same feelings, fear and helplessness came to the surface that afternoon just like they did when I was eight and I….I went into shock." He turns his head away, remembering. Alex remains quiet, holding his hand. He smiles as he holds her hand with both of his, "I promise you that one day very soon I will tell you the whole story, but not today, please."

She says pleading, "Bobby…."

"Alex please, I'm not trying to push you away, not anymore." He pauses. "I left you alone."

"What?"

"I left you alone."

"Bobby, I'm sorry for what you went through those many years ago but….if you didn't go out like that we wouldn't be talking to each other now…we'd be dead. Jonathan turned his back on me because you didn't respond to him when he asked you a question and that's how I got the gun."

"I didn't know it happened that way."

"Well if you didn't avoid me for the last seven days I would have told you sooner."

He shakes his head and starts to laugh. "Oh man." He lies down on the bed, covering his face with his hands. "My God….a horrible experience that happened to me thirty seven years ago saves my…." He sits up, "Our lives."

"As weird as it sounds, yes I guess so." She sits back in the chair stretching out her legs. "Bobby is it alright if I just sit here awhile?" She closes her eyes.

"Sure."

"Move your legs over I want to put my feet up?" He moves over and closes his eyes. "Night after night I tried to sleep but all could see was that animals face on my mind."

"I've had a few weird dreams myself," he turns his head to face her, she is sitting with her head back and her eyes closed. "Alex," she answers without opening her eyes. "Yes Bobby what is it?"

"I need to ask you something," before she has the chance to change her position, he says. "Don't open your eyes, stay just like that. The last thing I remember is that you…."

"No," she says.

"No, no what?"

"To your question, Bobby the answer is no."

"What?….I mean how do you know? What….?"

"Because I know you and that is the question that I would ask."

He lies back down, smiling, "That's a load off my mind." _N__ow if I can just get rid of the million other ones._

They remain silent, a comfortable silence this time and within ten minutes, they are asleep.

Nurse Sherman enters the room for his next dose of antibiotics. She smiles at the sight. "Hey you two," she takes a hold of each of their ankles shaking them. "Wake up."

Their eyes slowly focus on the woman speaking. Alex suddenly sits up in the chair. "Jesus that was weird." She rubs her eyes. "But it felt good. What time is it?"

"It's almost five and time for your medicine," the nurse says pointing to Bobby.

"Oh I don't………….."

"Be quiet," she says firmly.

Silence, Alex looks to the nurse and then at Bobby and then again at the nurse. Lightly touching her arm, "How did you do that?"

Nurse Sherman, smiles, "You see Bobby and I have a deal………."

He cuts her off. "Needles, she has needles. I hate needles." He shivers and shakes his head.

"You're kidding?" The smile on her face is a mile wide.

The red-haired nurse looks to Alex. "You should have seen his face when I took out a needle…"

"Ok that's enough," Bobby says sternly.

Alex tries with all her might not to say anything about this interesting situation but she can't help herself. She taps the arm of 6 foot 4 inch partner and he looks up at her. "You can stick your fingers in peoples' eyeballs and God knows where else and you're afraid of little needles?"

"Can we drop this please?" A slight blush appears on his face.

She lightly taps his arm. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." He crosses his arms, "Couldn't help yourself could you? You had to say something." He says giving her a wink.

"Yeah well you know." She grabs his hand. "I'd better go. See you tomorrow."

"I'm going home tomorrow," he says joyfully.

"That's good to hear, I'll drive you home."

"I'd like that."

Alex places her hand on his shoulder, "Still partners, right?"

"Are you sure?"

She straightens up, "Do you honestly think," she hesitates. "That I would foist you on another detective?"

"Thanks," he smiles and his eyes sparkle.

"Call me when you find out what time you are being discharged, have a good night." She points to the nurse, "Take care of him."

Nurse Sherman smiles, "Don't worry I will."

Alex waves as she pushes open the door, she leaves the room feeling a hell of lot better then she did when she got there.

"I take it that was Alex," Nurse Sherman says. Removing a paper cup, filled with two pills, from her tray.

"Oh gees I'm sorry."

"That's alright. Did you two have a good talk?"

"Yes," he smiles nodding his head. "Yes we did."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it. Take these." She hands him the little cup with the pills inside.

"I didn't think I needed them anymore."

"Are you going to take them or not?" She stands over him with her hands on her hips.

"I'll take them, I was just asking." He takes the pills and tosses the paper cup into the trashcan.

"I'm glad she came to visit. And you let her."

"Yeah me too."

As she turns to leave she says, "You two stick together and you'll be fine."

He smiles and nods his head as she leaves the room, _I can't quit…. I don't need to prove anything to_ _them._ He lies down on the bed, placing his hands behind his head._ I'm damn good at what I do; they're not going to get rid of me. Let them think whatever the hell they want._ He clicks on the television, THIS IS CNN, he closes his eyes listening.

Alex sits in her car, much has been resolved but some issues still need to be addressed. "Well now is a good time to start." She takes out her cell phone, after four rings her mother picks up. _"Hello."_

"Hi, Mom it's me. Is Dad home?"

"_Yes he is, do you want to talk to him?"_

"I want to talk to both of you, but not on the phone, are you guys up for an extra mouth at dinner and a house guest?"

She can hear a sniffle from her mother, she smiles, _"Yes honey of course, please."_

**TBC**


	13. Discourse

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Discourse**

As Alex drives out of the hospital parking lot, scenarios of her life without him go through her mind. _What if I never took the letter back? What if I insisted on a new partner? And he and I were assigned to this case?_ _What_ _would the outcome have been? Would it have ended_ _in_….A car horn is blowing, the light has turned green while she was daydreaming. "Alright you impatient, jerk." She says in her best New York tone of voice.

She finds a spot to park close to her parents' home; a hunger pain causes her to smile. She knocks on their door as she slips the key into the lock, "Mom, Dad…it's me."

Sara Eames emerges from the kitchen, smiling. She opens her arms to welcome her daughter, "I'm sorry Mom, I'm sorry…." Sara holds her tighter caressing her hair, "No, no honey there is nothing to be sorry about. We understand." Dropping her arms, she takes Alex's hand and leads her into the kitchen. "Come help with me with dinner."

"Where's Dad?"

"He just went to the store, for a pound of coffee, he should be home…." They hear the front door close. John Eames enters the kitchen as his wife and daughter are finishing the preparations for dinner. Alex smiles when she sees her father, "Hey Dad, what's up?" she says as she picks out a cherry tomato from the salad that she is preparing, popping it in her mouth.

He sits down next to his daughter, placing his hand on top of hers, "Nothing much, how about you?" He leans over and kisses her cheek.

"I snuck into the hospital this afternoon," she says proudly. "Bobby, well at first he wasn't happy to see me but I stood firm and we had a good talk." She tosses the salad, "Mom should I put the dressing in?"

"No, leave it out; we can put in our own dressing. Your father has been using balsamic vinegar in his salad and I don't like it. I'll stick to ranch." She spoons the potatoes from the baking dish, placing them onto a platter. "John would you take the chicken out of the oven for me, please."

John, Sara and Alex each grab a dish and place it on the table. They fill up their plates in silence.

"Chicken is delicious, Mom."

"Thank you," Sara picks up the platter of roasted potatoes, "More potatoes John."

"Yes please," he takes the platter from her and spoons out a few more pieces. "Alex, you want more?"

"No thanks, Dad."

Sara catches her husbands' eye, gesturing with her head, he nods. "Alex I must praise you on your persistence, this afternoon, concerning Bobby."

"I know that I can be stubborn, not unlike someone we all know and love," she smiles at her father. "But Bobby, wow he's worse."

"How is he feeling?" Sara asks with concern.

"Physically he seems fine and after we confessed what and how we were feeling, and a good cry." She pauses remembering the security she felt wrapped in his arms. "We were able to smile. He blamed himself for what happened to me and I blamed myself for him being hurt. We knew it all along but it took us some time to realize that neither one of us was responsible for what happened. That little piece of….." she swallows. "Anyway he's being discharged tomorrow and when I offered to drive him home he accepted."

"I have a roast in the freezer, why don't you invite Bobby to dinner on Sunday. I think it would be good for him to have a home cooked meal and spend the afternoon with people," she pauses. "Who care about him."

"I will, Mom." She nods her head. "That's a good idea."

"Ready for dessert?"

Alex and her father hold their stomachs and nod yes at the same time. John follows his wife into the kitchen.

"I realized," Alex says as her father places a cheese cake and a pot of coffee on the table. "That I was more concerned about what other people….well cops were saying about what happened." She looks up wanting a reaction from her father. She watches as John and Sara go through the motions of pouring the coffee and slicing into the cake. Alex digs her fork into her piece of cake, "I was trying to convince myself that I didn't care but I did….It seems as if I saved the day." She sets down her fork. "I didn't…no one could possibly know what and how…" She holds her forehead shielding the tears in her eyes.

"Alex, honey..."

"I saw your face Dad, you were thinking about what happened as a cop, not as my father. You…."

John takes his daughters hand, "Alex I think you were the one who was examining what happened as a cop, not the victim that you were. You tried so hard to displace yourself from the events. I wasn't there and would never judge anything about what he did or didn't do. You are my daughter, you were hurt, and of course, I would hold resentment to the person that caused you pain. I'm not talking about Bobby, what he did; well it seems to me was about the only thing he could do and that was to keep quiet and say nothing. For that I must commend him."

John stands reaching for her, she opens her arms, father and daughter embrace. "Hey what about me," Sara says.

Alex turns, wiping her eyes, "Come here Mom."

**The Next Morning **

Alex arrives at the hospital, her step is lively and she is smiling. Last night went well, she leaned on her parents and they were more than willing to support her. She knew it before but sometimes she can be a little obstinate. She chuckles softly as the elevator takes her to the third floor. She nods hello to a nurse as she walks briskly down the hall. She slows her pace when she notices that door to his room is open, she peeks in. He is sitting in a chair facing the window. Suddenly a feeling of dread overwhelms her.

"Bobby," she says softly. He does not respond, a few more steps into the room. "Bobby." He turns suddenly and she backs away, "Jesus Christ Goren you scared me."

"I'm sorry," he stands, "You're right on time." He picks up his bag and leads the way out of the room.

The smile on his face is a mile wide as he walks out into the cool, crisp sunshine of this Saturday morning. They walk slowly side by side and the expression on his face is of a man who suddenly feels free.

The conversation for most of the ride is light. Alex suddenly remembers her mothers request for him to share dinner with them. "My Mom wants to extend to you an invitation for Sunday dinner." He stays silent, looking out the window. "She is preparing a pot roast," he turns to face her. _That got his attention_, she smiles.

"Ah, I don't think so, I do appreciate the invitation. Tell your Mom thanks but I'm not up for seeing too many people, your brother and sister and the kids."

Alex turns the car onto his street, smiling as she finds a parking spot in front of his house. "No, just us, you and me and my parents."

He grabs the door handle, "A pot roast, huh?"

She nods as she lightly pats his hand, "Come on, say yes it will do you good."

"Alright, what time?"

"Three o'clock, I'll pick you up."

"I can drive myself, you know. I mean I had a driver's license before you did."

"Bobby, I didn't mean…."

He lets go of the handle, "Alex I'm sorry. I'm just a little tired. Thanks for the invitation and the ride. He opens the car door. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Hey," she calls to him. "Wait."

"What?"

"Do you want me to pick you up?"

"No, I'll drive; depending on how I feel in the morning I might go up and visit my Mom."

"Ok, see you tomorrow, get some rest."

He exits the car, "I'll try…I will, thanks again."

**Sunday**

Sara and John are gracious hosts and attend to their quest. After the usual talk about his health and such, John invites him to a spot on the couch and an afternoon of football. He has visited this house on many occasions but on this Sunday afternoon, he feels uneasy. He is unusually quiet, in a way dreading the dinner conversation.

"Dinner's ready," Alex calls to the men, Bobby and John are sitting quietly in the other room watching the game. John turns off the set, "Who's winning?" Alex asks directing her question to Bobby.

He pulls out his chair, "Huh?"

Alex sets down the salad bowl on the table, "The football game, who's winning."

"Colts, by a field goal," John answers.

The food is on the table and the four-some fill up their plates. Bobby compliments Sara on a delicious meal.

Alex sets down her utensils and clears her throat. "Alright, somebody say something."

Three sets of eyeballs fixate on her. John says reaching for his water glass, "Go right ahead honey."

Bobby hastily sets down his fork, "No you see that comment was meant for me."

Alex grins at him, "You have to admit that you are awfully quiet. And I must say, it is getting irritating."

"Oh really, why? You don't have the ability to start a conversation."

"Ok I'll start. Why are you so quiet?"

"I'm not in the mood to talk, can you understand that?"

"You, ha….a man who loves the sound of his own voice," Alex looks up at him expecting a smile.

"I know what's really bothering you and I know why you asked me here." Alex sits back in the chair and crosses her arms. She remains silent. "It still bothers you that I didn't act like super cop that afternoon," he gestures with his head in John's direction. "You need to have your father here to tell me to my face."

Alex hits the table with her fist as she stands. "I always said that you have a vivid imagination Bobby."

"Yeah that's right." He stands. "Tell a joke, avoid the situation." He has to lean down to catch her eye. "Admit it," he straightens up crossing his arms.

John is ready to stand and join in the debate; Sara catches his eye, shaking her head. After over forty years of marriage he knows the look, don't interfere.

"Admit it, admit it to yourself Bobby. You're the one who feels that way. My God," she waves her hands at him." Why are you acting like this? Just like a man to….."

"What the hell does that mean? I am a man….oh I see, but not to you."

She realizes his sensitive frame of mind, sitting down she finally understands, "Bobby that's not what I meant at all." She looks up at him.

He tosses the cloth napkin, which he has in his hand, over the dish. "Thanks for the dinner, but I have to go." He turns and walks quickly through the house. They hear the front door close.

"Alexandra Eames I suggest you get up off your butt and go after him," John says sternly.

Alex looks to the faces of her parents, then nods. She opens the door to find him on the sidewalk motionless.

_Great, my keys are in my jacket and my jacket is in the house._

She walks up to him; he sees her and turns away. "You know Bobby when you make a dramatic exit like that you should try and remember to grab your jacket."

"That's not funny, Alex," he says refusing to look at her.

"It's not, then why are you smiling?" She turns back toward the house. From the corner of her eye, she can see him follow. She stops before she opens the door. "Never ever would I think that you are less of a man for what you did that afternoon," she turns to face him, reaching for his hand. "I am so very grateful," she places her hand on top of his. "That you are you." He follows her into the house.

She releases his hand and reaches for his jacket, spinning around she hands it to him, "You believe me, don't you?"

He takes the jacket from her, "Yes I do, I should have known better, it's just that some strange thoughts have been jumping through my head." He places the jacket on the hook, "I would like to finish my meal, would that be alright?"

"You think too much." They both smile as she takes his hand leading him to the table.

"John, Sara I'm sorry for my behavior. Would it be alight if I….. "

Sara reaches for his plate, "I'll warm it up for you Bobby, please sit."

"Thank you," he pulls out the chair as Alex's cell phone rings and she excuses herself from the table.

Bobby places his elbows on the table, seemingly nervous he begins rubbing his hands together, as he and John sit alone.

John leans forward, "I can certainly understand your frustration Bobby, being out of control in a desperate situation. But whatever happened to you, you have to remember that you are both alive and I am so grateful to you for that."

Bobby holds out his hand, "Thank you sir." Alex returns to the table as they are shaking hands. She sits down and smiles at the sight. The look on her partners face is of a man who now feels content. The frown that he sported throughout the afternoon is gone. Sara returns with his warm food and they finish their meal, the conversation is light and the desert is scrumptious.

**TBC**


	14. Life Goes One

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Life Goes On**

It has been over three weeks since that Saturday afternoon, after a few sessions with Doctor Olivette he too has been given the okay to go back to work. He returns on a cold, rainy, Wednesday morning. _I would pick a day like this to go back. _Throughout the morning commute, his heart was racing and thumping in his chest. The reception from his fellow detectives is warm. The doubts and concerns he had toward his colleagues where, and he is not afraid to admit, mistaken.

Arriving before Alex, he remembered to buy her a coffee; he sets it down on her desk.

After he removes the cover to the coffee and takes a quick, Ross is upon him in a matter of minutes, "Detective," Ross sits on the edge of the desk. "Welcome back."

"Captain," He scans the room, feeling much more comfortable. "It's good to be back."

"If you are up for it, I mean if you'd rather not take on a case today….."

"I'll….we'll take it."

Ross hands him the file, "When your partner arrives come into my office. I want to discuss some things about the case with you and Eames."

"Yes sir," Bobby opens the file folder and begins to read the details of the case. _This is a month old._

"A-hem," he looks up. She smiles, "Good morning."

"Morning," he returns the smile as he sets down the file, "Ross already handed me a case file."

She looks toward Ross's office, "Back to the old grind already?"

"Yeah within five minutes of my arrival, he gives us this."

She sits at her desk and the familiarly is comforting for both. "Thanks for the coffee."

"You're very welcome." He lowers his head and opens the folder, after he reads the reports from forensic and the coroner's he hands the papers to Alex.

Alex shakes her head, "I heard about this case, there was a rumor that she was a former politician." She continues to read. "Why give us a cold case?" Alex looks up and she spies Ross standing in his doorway, he signals for her. "I think Ross wants to talk to us."

Bobby shrugs his shoulders, leaning back in the chair, "Damn, I forgot Ross wants to discuss something about this case with us."

"Come on then," Alex leads the way. "Captain, you have some information about this case that is not in the file?"

Ross gestures, "Please sit," he says then closes the door.

Goren and Eames sit in the chairs directly in front of Ross's desk, "As you can see the case is cold, however not only is the victim a former congresswoman the number one suspect is a police officer."

Bobby and Alex exchange glances, "Ah Captain it doesn't say anything in here about who these people were."

"Yes Eames I realize that." Ross leans forward intertwining his fingers. "Trevor Bryce, is a well decorated 15 year veteran and….."

"No," Bobby says.

Ross looks up at his detective with a puzzled look on his face, "No, no what?"

"I….I don't want this case."

Alex taps his arm, "What," she frowns. "Why?"

Ignoring Alex's question he stands and tosses the file onto Ross' desk. "No one else wants it, and from what I can see from these reports whoever had this case before didn't do much investigating at all, so you and those…." He bites his lip. "You figure give it to me so I can further alienate myself from the cops on the force." Bobby crosses his arms, "If that is the plan, alright in a way I guess I can understand, but leave her out of it."

Alex sits back in the chair, dumfounded. Ross's voice startles her. "Eames, would you excuse us for a minute?"

"Ah, sure Captain," she tries to catch Bobby's eye as she stands but he faces forward. Bobby exhales as he sits down.

"I'm giving you this case to you and your partner because you won't lose evidence or ignore the facts. I will stand behind everything you uncover, I have in the past and I know that if this case is solvable you and Eames will solve it." Ross can tell by the expression on Bobby's face that he is still not convinced. "You were not their choice upstairs it was mine."

Bobby rubs his eyes, "Alright," he stands and picks up the file. "No interference from upstairs?"

"It will come to me and I will take care of it, you have my word."

Bobby turns toward the door taking a step forward, "Goren," Ross stands as he calls to him. "I will admit that I didn't understand you when I first got here." Ross stuffs his hands in his pockets. "But I do now; you and Eames are only interested in one thing, the truth and as I recall that is what we are being paid to do. You investigate this case as you feel it needs to be. But," he smiles. "Keep me up to date on everything."

Bobby's only response is a nod. Alex's eyes have been fixated on the Captain's office since she left. "Well?" Alex asks as Bobby returns to his seat.

"It's ours," he opens the file.

"I'm not afraid of a little heat Bobby."

"I know that," he says with his head down. "If I over stepped my bounds I'm sorry."

"Hey," he looks up, "I understand and you didn't."

He returns to reading the file, passing off what he has read to Alex. Throughout the morning their knowledge of the crime is as if they began the investigation on of the day of Paula Taylor's' murder.

They spend the afternoon revisiting family and friends of the victim and the suspect, Trevor Bryce.

Trevor's partner, Oliver Harris, let it slip that he and Paula were having an affair. Detective Harris tried to make light of it but the cat was out of the bag. "Trevor just needed someone to talk to, they met at the track. Trevor loves to play the ponies and with…." He clears his throat. "He doesn't care whether he wins or loses." He lightly punches Bobby's arm. "You know what I mean?"

Bobby returns the gesture, "Yes," Bobby says grinning, _unfortunately I do_.

They thank Harris for agreeing to speak with them, "I think we better dig a little deeper into the life of Detective Bryce," Bobby says as he opens the door for his partner. "Let's see how much heat we get from upstairs."

**One Police Plaza**

Bobby and Alex spend the next two hours researching the life of Trevor Bryce. They uncover that he is married to the daughter of the founder and president of a prominent accounting firm. "Wow," Alex says. "If I had a tenth of her wealth I'd be happy. He's married to a bank account and in love with someone else."

"Love? I doubt that." Bobby hands Alex a bank statement, "Look at the dates of these withdrawals."

"Same amount every Friday night," she shuffles through the papers. "For the past eight and a half months, three hundred dollars." Looking up at her partner, "Him? For what? Drugs? His girlfriend?"

"Nothing in his jacket about drugs, but….his partner told us he loves to play the ponies," he scans through his notes. "Two months prior his wife was diagnosed with cancer."

Alex smirks, "What a catch." She hands the papers back to Bobby, "I bet Mary Ellen Bryce thought she had a hold of a good one the day she said I do."

Bobby replaces the papers into the folder, "Coffee?"

"Yes, excellent idea, I'll get my coat."

**The Eames Home**

"And how was Bobby's first day back?"

Alex opens the refrigerator taking out a water bottle, unscrewing the cap, "Different," she nods then takes a long sip.

"Different," Sara raises her eyebrows, "What kind of an answer is that."

"I'm not sure it was just different," Alex sets the bottle on the table. "We worked a new case all day as smooth as ever. Things just seemed…..It was different." Alex leaves the kitchen, "I'm going to change Mom, I'll be down in awhile to help with dinner."

"Alright Alex, chicken or pasta?"

"Pasta."

She opens the closet in her temporary bedroom, staring at the items inside. "Not much in here," she counts the nights that she has been away from her own apartment. "I have to get back," she pulls a sweater from a hangar and slips it over her head. "Maybe, next week?"

She stands in front of the mirror brushing her hair. She sets the brush down and grabs a tissue, removing the makeup that hides the tiny scar. "It fades more and more every day," she smiles. The ringing of her cell phone causes her to jump. "Damn," she flips it open before checking the ID. "Hello."

"_Hi Alex, its Marcy."_

She sits on the edge of the bed, "Marcy, hi how are you?"

"_I'm fine, how are you?"_

"Surviving, what's up?" Silence on the line, "Marcy?"

She clears her throat, _"Katie and I want to take you out on the town Friday night. Are you up for it?"_

Her first reaction, _I don't want to do that_. She stands and begins to pace around the room. "I think I'll...What time Friday?"

_"Nine o'clock, we will pick you up. So where do you want to go Kristi's or..."_

"Kristi's, I'm in the mood to dance."

_"Great, we'll see you then."_

"Definitely, oh Marcy?"

_"Yeah."_

"Thanks."

_"Anytime, see you Friday. Bye."_

_"Bye Marcy."_ She closes the phone and tosses it on the bed_, "_Mom! Mom!"

"Yes Alex what is it?"

"When is Dad due to come home?"

"I'm not sure; you know what happens when he and his friends get together. Why?"

"Marcy just phoned and she and Katie are taking me out Friday night."

"That's good to hear, you haven't been out with your girlfriends since…." Sara turns her head away.

"It's….anyway I need Dad to go to my place….maybe I could go," she shakes her head. "Forget that."

Sara takes her daughters hand in hers, "Alex you have to make a decision about your place, either….."

Alex pulls her hand back, "Why, why should I have to make that choice? That was my house, my life and he disrupted it all." She turns away, "Every day," she shouts. "Every Goddamn day something about what happened goes through my mind. Will it ever become a faded memory?" Sara reaches for her daughter but Alex just turns and runs quickly up the stairs.

The front door opens and John walks in, "Hey, anybody home?" He calls out.

Sara answers as they hear the slamming of the door to her temporary bedroom. "Yes John," she walks down the hall to greet her husband.

He hangs up his coat, "Was that Alex? She would do that when she was a teenager, remember?"

Sara smiles, if only what her daughter was going though now was as simple as the _traumatic_ events of her teenage years. "I tried to talk to her about her apartment, it's been over three weeks and I think she should move out."

"Did you tell her that?"

"No I never got the chance, you try. You talk to her."

John knocks lightly on the bedroom door, "Alex," he knocks again.

As she opens the door, she wipes her eyes, "Hey Dad." She turns her back on him, grabbing a few tissues as she passes the box.

"Your Mother asked me to….Well to tell you the truth I have wanted to talk to you about going back to your apartment."

She turns abruptly, "You're kicking me out? You asked me to come here."

"I'm not kicking you out but you have to face it, it's time you went back there. Even if you never plan of living there again, you have to go back." He puts his arm around her shoulder, "I'll take you, right now if you want."

"I'm frightened and I'm not sure why, I know that Jonathan will never ever come back, but he came into my home," she moves out from under his embrace. "My home Dad he invaded my space, how dare he." She runs past him into the bathroom.

He follows her, knocking on the bathroom door, "Alex, come on out. Running away from me and what needs to be done will not make anything better it will only make it worse." He hears the water run, "Alex," he says sternly as he continues to knock.

"Dad I'm busy in here."

**Bobby's Place**

He un-wraps the deli sandwich he purchased then sets it on a paper plate, opening the refrigerator he smiles when he sees a bottle of bud hidden in the corner, "Alright." He grabs the beer bottle, opening it before the door to the refrigerator closes, "That tastes good." He looks around the room, "Yes you are talking to yourself." Picking up the plate that holds the sandwich, he walks into the living room. After a five-minute search for the remote, he sits down in front of the box.

After his meal, he places the chair into the reclining position. Closing his eyes he listens to Bill Curtis speak at the onset of the program 'American Justice'. He scoffs, "Yeah justice, that's a laugh."

The ringing of his phone wakes him from a restless sleep. "Yeah," he says rubbing his eyes.

"_Hey Bobby, what's up?"_

"It depends on what time it is and who you are?"

"_It's John,"_ hesitation then a slight couch. "_John Eames."_

Bobby takes the phone away from his ear, _Great just what I need. _He takes a long breath, "Yes John, what's up?"

"_I need you to do me a favor."_

This time Bobby hesitates, "A favor?"

**TBC**


	15. Alex Faces Her Fear

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Alex Faces Her Fear**

Alex, after close to twenty minutes in the bathroom, opens the door. She scans the hallway; _I guess he gave up, good_. She walks quickly down the hall into her bedroom. Closing the door softly, she finds the remote and clicks on the TV.

She sits on the bed with her back against the headboard, watching but not listening. Memories of her teenage years flow through her mind. The hours she spent in this room, thinking about what her life would be like when she grew up. None of the wishes she had back then has come to be.

_Yes I was married for a time, but he's gone, gone too young and tragically._

_A child? No children of my own_, she chuckles as she remembers the names she picked out for her children, _Ashley for a girl and Tyler for a_ _boy_. She frowns_, maybe one day_, she laughs aloud, _it had better_ _be soon_.

_My career? Very gratifying and prominent. Will I ever advance past detective? Is he holding me back? No, he's not, how can anyone? Especially me, think that way. He's not afraid to find the truth no matter who may have to come down in the end. I admire him for that._ She remembers his comment earlier in the day, _Figure give it to me so I can further alienate myself from the cops on the force. If that is the plan, I guess I can understand, but leave her out of it. I can understand too Bobby, particularly the way they treated you after Kevin Quinn's murder, they all wanted the easy way out, even me._

Her cell phone rings and she shakes with surprise, checking the ID, she smiles. "Hi," she says cheerfully.

"_Hi…I um, I need to speak to you about something very serious."_

She sits on the edge of the bed, "Serious? I don't know if I can handle serious at this time, Bobby."

"_Jokes always with the….I think it's time, time for you to go back there."_

She stands and makes a motion to toss the phone across the room. "My father called you. Didn't he?" she says snappily.

"_Yes he did and I'm glad he did."_

As she sits on the bed, she takes hold of her pillow hugging it, wishing he were here to give her comfort. "No…. I don't want to go back there."

"_I think you….we should_, _I'll take you."_

"Bobby….I….I'm not sure I can," she says slightly sobbing.

"_Yes you can, Alex. I'll be with you."_ He clears his throat_. "I'm waiting for you outside."_

_S_he walks across the room toward the window. Pulling the curtain aside, she can see his car. She smiles, "I'll be right down, oh do me a favor."

"_Sure anything, anything at all,"_ he chuckles_. "Within reason."_

She laughs as she opens the bedroom door, "Buy me dinner first."

"_No," _he says sternly_. "Don't procrastinate; we're going to go now."_

Her parents well aware of her destination remain in the kitchen. She calls to them as she descends the stairs, "Mom, Dad I'm going out for a while, be back later."

"She sounds as if she's going out on a date," Sara says.

"If I know Alex and I do, she's going to try to talk him out of it and if I know Bobby he won't let her."

"I agree," she pats his hand.

He covers her hand with his, "I love having her here but she needs to move on, if she doesn't do it soon she could end up resenting us in the end."

"I feel the same way, I love her so much but she is getting too comfortable living here, I'm cooking her meals, cleaning her clothes even making her bed every morning." She sits back in the chair, "I think it was a good idea that you called Bobby, because you…."

"Yes I gave into her," John says timidly. "I can't stand to see her in so much pain and not have the ability to make it go away, like when she was a little girl. I can not even begin to understand what she is going through."

Sara moves in closer and hugs him, "Oh you are just an old softy."

"Shhh….don't tell the kids," he kisses her on the cheek. "Besides I think it will be good for both them. Finally get out some of those underlying feelings of hostility."

Alex opens the car door, "Hey, are you sure you don't want to get something to eat first." She says as she gets in the car.

He puts the car in gear, "I already ate."

Alex switches on the radio, "I haven't, come on," she says pleading.

Pulling the car into traffic, "No, now stop it," he says sternly. "Will you please?"

Pressing the buttons one after another on the radio, she finally finds a song she likes, "Gees what a grouch," she says under her breath as she sits back.

He touches the brakes just a tad too forceful at the stop light and they bolt forward, "You think I want to do this? You think I'm some kind of ghoul wanting to go back to a place where you and I were assaulted? Is that what you think?"

She finds it hard to look at him, "No Bobby, of course not."

With the light still red, "Alex," he takes her hand. "I didn't mean to…."

She touches his cheek, "I understand and you are right, we'll go now," she sits back in the seat facing forward. "Then we can go out and get drunk."

He laughs, as the light turns green.

Traffic is light and in less then twenty minutes they have reached their destination. "That was quick; I never realized how close I lived to my parents."

They sit in the car, staring straight ahead, each waiting for the other to make a move or a sound. Bobby breaks the silence, "Come on," he says as he opens his door. She remains inside the car, facing forward. After a few strides he is next to her door quickly. Reaching down he opens her door. Her eyes are filling with tears; he bends down, "We can do this Alex," he holds out his hand. "I'll be with you." She places her petite hand in his and he gently lifts her from the car seat.

Knowing she would purposely leave her key behind he digs into his pocket. She watches him as he places the key in the lock, "You know me too well Goren."

"You got that right," he pushes the door open. They stand in the door way looking inside, neither uttering a word. He once again takes her hand, "Ready?"

Nodding her head, "Yes, I'm ready."

The room is as it was _before_ Jonathan invaded her space. "My Dad hired someone to clean up the……" she loses her balance and he catches her, leading her to the couch, "Alex," he holds her helping her to sit down. "I'll get a cold rag, be right back." She grabs his arm, "No Bobby don't leave me!"

"Okay," he sits down next to her, "Okay, I won't." He pulls her next to him and she cuddles in under his arm.

Slightly sobbing she snuggles in closer, "I keep having this dream that after I shoot him he comes back to life and starts to chase me. For some strange reason he's on a motorcycle. I keep running and running but I never find a familiar place to take refuge."

"Because I couldn't help you," he says sadly.

"No you couldn't….Not that you wouldn't. There is a big difference Bobby." She nudges him. "You see the difference now? Don't you?"

He smiles, "Yes I do." He kisses the top of her head. "Thank you."

"Right there, I stood right there," she points. "And that little prick sat there." She wipes her eyes. "You, you were there."

She looks up and he is staring at the spot where he sat tied to the chair, "Helpless, I never felt so helpless….when I was eight years old." Shaking his head, "No….not now, now is not the time."

"There is no better time Bobby, tell me."

Bobby relays to Alex his 'Forgotten Secret.' She remains silent throughout the story.

"I'm so sorry Bobby."

"The mind is a remarkable thing, isn't it? In one way, it protected me and thirty years later, it saved our lives. However, I blocked out the entire day, my father's behavior toward my Mom. The way he treated her, I hated _her_ when he left, little did I know." He shakes his head, "Too bad he didn't leave sooner." He lightly squeezes her thankful for the comfort. "Are you going to move?"

The quick subject change startles her, "I….I don't know. I love this place, I feel violated for what he did to me but I also feel that if I move he has taken over my life, dictating where I should live. Home is supposed to be a comfort, isn't it?"

"So I've been told." he whispers.

"Huh?"

Shaking his head, "Nothing, nothing at all."

She looks around the room, "I'm not sure that I can ever feel that way again living here." She stands and begins to pace around the room, "I know he's dead, he's never coming back."

"You still feel him in here, don't you?"

"No, it's not that, I thought I would but I don't." She stops to feel the leaves of her favorite plant, she chuckles, "I think my Dad's been watering this." Bobby has since left the couch and is standing behind her. She slowly turns as he places his arm around her shoulder. She smiles, "I'm sure of one thing."

"What's that?"

"I don't think I'm going to have that dream….nightmare again." She leans her head on his chest and he holds her tighter, "I have to admit that it was getting too comfortable living with my parents, no responsibilities, I was starting to feel like a teenager again. I go to work, come home, my Mom prepares dinner, sometimes I help. She's been making my bed, what's that Billy Joel song, 'Well you're twenty-one and still your mother makes your bed, and that's too long.' I'm a hell of a lot older than twenty-one."

He clears his throat, "That's for sure."

She looks up at him, "Hey…" she smiles. "Thank you," she stands on tip-toe and kisses his cheek.

"For what?" he says shyly.

She absent mindedly pokes him on the side where he was stabbed, "I'm sorry, Bobby."

"There's nothing to be sorry about it doesn't hurt any longer." He squeezes her lightly, "I...I didn't want to come back here at all but I'm glad we did." He scans the area, "It's just a room Alex, a room can't hurt you, neither can a memory." He turns to her and lightly caresses her cheek, "I think you should move back, we could redecorate, new paint," he turns suddenly and stretches out his arms, "maybe some new furniture, change the whole look of the room." He turns to face her, "I'll help."

"If I decide to stay, I'm keeping you to that."

Nodding his head, "Come on." He holds out his hand for her. "Let's go get that drink."

She takes his hand, "Wait, while I'm here I should get some clothes." She pulls him to follow her into the bedroom. He remains in the doorway. She opens her dresser drawer, removing some under garments.

"Now I know why your Mom makes your bed in the morning?"

"Bad habit, I hardly ever make up my bed." She places the garments on the bed. "Do you?"

He leans up against the doorframe, shaking his head. "No I figure why bother you're only gonna mess it up again."

She turns and smiles, "My sentiment exactly." She opens the closet door.

He walks into the room, "I'll carry them." She hands him three pairs of slacks and blouses to match.

She catches him looking in the closet, she smiles. _God how I love to tease this guy,_ "Ah what are you looking at?"

Touching the hem of a skirt, he slowly turns his head toward her, "You actually own some on these?"

She steps forward, lightly smacking his arm, "I've worn them to work." She closes the closet, picks up the garments from the bed and walks across the room toward the door.

Following her, "Once," he holds his finger in the air. "In seven years I can only remember once."

She stops at the door, "You may be right. I have to say that I am impressed with your memory."

"Thanks, where do you want to go and get that drink?"

"Let's put these in the car and we can walk to Finnegan's I could go for a burger."

"Yeah me, too," he opens the car door and places the garments on the back seat.

"I thought you said you already ate."

"Yeah," he looks at his watch. "Three hours ago."

**TBC **


	16. Out of Sorts

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Out of Sorts**

**The Home of Trevor Bryce**

The 15-year veteran of the NYPD answers the door, he stands at five foot 10, black hair with flecks of gray throughout, the faint smell of alcohol emanates from him. "Trevor Bryce, I'm Detective Eames, this is Detective Goren. We are investigating the murder of Paula Taylor." He stands aside welcoming them in. Alex leads the way with Bobby following close behind.

Bryce escorts them into the living room, which looks in total disarray. Picking up some pieces of the New York Times he points to a spot on the couch, "Sit, please." Bryce continues to stand.

"Detective could I get a glass of water?" Bobby asks.

"Sure," Bryce makes a move to lead the way.

"I can get it," Bobby says holding up his hand.

Bryce points the way, "Down the hall to the left is the kitchen, the glasses are over the sink." Bryce returns to the living room but continues to look toward the doorway, "Would you care for anything Detective?"

Alex shakes her head, "No thank you."

Bobby returns to the living room with a glass of water, he sets it down on the coffee table as Alex takes a seat on the couch. He stands directly behind her, clutching his leather case. Bryce points his finger in Alex's direction, "Go ahead ask your questions."

Alex begins the questioning, "Detective we need to confirm your whereabouts on Tuesday the 27th?"

"Are you sure you don't want a drink, cause I could certainly use one." Bobby and Alex simultaneously check the time, eleven o'clock in the morning. Bryce stands and fills a glass with two ice cubes and vodka, taking a swig.

Alex repeats her question, "Detective we need to confirm your whereabouts on Tuesday the 27th?"

"After my shift ended I went to visit my Mom, who lives with my sister," Bryce sits down in an easy chair across from Alex.

"Your shift ended at four, your sister says you didn't show up at her place until after seven, now I realize traffic can be a bear in this city but three hours to drive to the Bronx."

"Eames, you said?"

"Yes that's what I said."

Bryce moves forward in the chair, "My Dad worked out of the 9-1, for about ten years, your Dad," he wags his finger at her. "Is your Dad John Eames?"

_Jesus get me out of here_. Bobby thinks as he sighs.

"Yes he is," snapping her fingers, "Bryce, Bryce. Oh yes I remember, Stanley Bryce, they were partners for a short time," she says slightly elated.

Bryce takes another swig of his drink, smiling "Yes they were. I wonder if we ever met when we were kids."

Bobby expels a louder sigh; Alex turns to look, "Are you alright?"

Nodding his head, "So," Bobby says as he walks from behind the couch. "How long were you and Paula having an affair?" He sets his case on the table titling his head to catch Trevor's eyes. "Where's your wife?"

The silence that overtakes the room causes Bryce to fidget in his seat, "An affair? What does my wife have to do with all this, Detective…ah…?"

"It's Goren and no my Dad wasn't a cop," Bobby places his hand on the arm of the chair and leans down. "He barely held a job the last twenty years of his life. Where's your wife?"

Bryce slides back in the chair, "My wife? Why do you keep asking me about her? She's….she's out."

"Out, out where?"

"Shopping, she took the kids shopping."

Bobby straightens up and crosses his arms, "You know Trevor, when you lie you should try to make it more believable. It's Thursday at 11 o'clock in the morning and considering the fact that your kids are 8 and 12 they should be in school at this hour." Bobby leans down trying to make eye contact, "No….she's not out, she's gone, how long? Huh….when did she leave?"

Bryce stands as Bobby takes a step backward; Trevor walks to his left, taking in the size of the detective. "Look I told you she's out and that's what I want you to do, get out!" Bryce points to the door.

Bobby shakes his head, "No not yet. Not until you answer my question."

"Eames I think you'd better get control of your partner." Bryce moves the chair back.

Alex stands and positions herself to the side of the two men, "Bryce I suggest you answer his question."

"Go to hell the both of you, now I said it once and I'm not going to say it again, get out of my house!"

Alex steps back "Come on Bobby let's go."

"In a minute," he says as he comes within inches of Bryce. "Answer my question, you lying crock of shit. I asked you a question, answer it!"

"You had better listen to your partner, Goren." Bryce steps back, sticking his finger in Bobby's face. "I heard about you, you're…."

Bobby grabs his wrist and pulls him forward as Bryce lets out a howl.

"Bobby what are you….?" Alex takes a step back.

Continuing to hold his wrist, "Tell me, Bryce, what have you heard?" Bryce tries frantically to pull his arm out of Bobby's grasp. Bobby pulls him forward again. "I've heard some things about you, your gambling, stealing money from your sick wife, cheating on her, why because of the chemo you couldn't have sex so you went looking elsewhere, you degenerate son of a bitch, only interested in your own pleasures, not caring at all about anyone else, you selfish fuck!" Bobby abruptly releases his grasp and pushes him. Bryce falls into the chair. "You know what really amazes me is that she didn't kick your sorry ass out," he looks around the room. "She let you stay here, why?"

Bryce sits forward in the chair, just staring into space. "She doesn't know anything about the affair, does she? She left because of the gambling." Bobby leans down, but Bryce refuses to look in his direction. "She found out about the money that you were stealing from her. Started when she was in the hospital, didn't it? With all the medications that she was given, she gave you power of attorney and you had a field day."

Bryce looks up, nodding. He cries out, "Oh God what did I do?" He looks up and the two detectives are staring down at him. He shakes his head, sitting back in the chair. "She's gone, Mary Ellen is gone she…." He looks up as tears starts to well up in his eyes.

"Who are you crying for Trevor? Huh? Paula, your wife, your kids?" Bobby scoffs, "I bet you're crying for yourself," Bobby nods his head, "Right? You self-centered prick."

Sobbing he confesses, "I really love my wife. Paula wanted me to leave Mary Ellen and I wouldn't."

"Boy you must have had her fooled, believing you'd leave the bank account you married for her."

Bryce turns his head away from Bobby's stare. "I went there to break it off and she threatened to call her. When she went for her phone I hit her and when she fell she hit her head on the table." He sobs louder as he covers his face with his hands.

Bobby takes one arm, while Alex takes the other and they help Bryce to his feet. "You're under arrest Trevor," Alex says as she places the cuffs around his wrist, "For the murder of Paula Taylor."

The thirty-minute drive back to 1PP is quiet for the three passengers.

Trevor Bryce is processed and agrees, with his lawyer present, to make a full confession. Alex sits in the interrogation room as Trevor speaks.

Forty minutes later Bryce is escorted to his holding cell, Alex enters the observation room, "Where's your partner? I'm surprised he didn't want to be in there."

Alex's answer is a shrug of her shoulders, staring straight ahead.

"What's the problem, Eames?"

Shaking her head, "Nothing, nothing at all Captain." She turns to face her CO, "I think things are beginning to change for the better." She moves a piece of hair behind her ear. Chuckling, "Back to normal."

She finds him sitting in the visitor office. Staring into space, he never acknowledges her as she enters the room. "Bryce repeated that his wife found out about the money. She left the apartment while she and the kids moved to Long Island to stay with her parents." Sitting down next to him, "Did it make you feel better?"

"Huh?" he says with his head down.

"Speaking to Bryce that way," she places her hand top of his. He looks up and a weak smile crosses his face, "Did it feel good to let it out."

"I've been sitting here thinking, what it would have been like to stand face to face and man to man with my father. Most of what I said to Bryce I would have said to him." He sits back in the chair, staring up at the ceiling. "Would it have changed who he turned into?" Bobby shrugs his shoulders. "I doubt it, but," he sits erect. "It would have me feel good."

They sit in silence for a moment, "When did you figure it out?" Bobby asks.

"When you grabbed his wrist, for a second I thought you were going to rip his arm out of its socket."

He frowns, "For a second and you didn't do anything?"

"No, I know you well enough that you would turn the physical action into a verbal one." She leans forward, "Beside the slime ball deserved it."

"Thanks for backing me up."

"You'd do it for me."

He starts to laugh, "Yeah, maybe one day you'll break the rules."

**TBC**


	17. Impulses

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Impulses **

**Two Weeks Later**

**One Police Plaza**

Another week, another case and Alex was so right in her comment about how things are getting back to normal, not only their partnership but their friendship as well.

Their current case is the murder of Lester Walker a real estate tycoon. His wife Christine, 40 years his junior, is slowly becoming their number one suspect. Alex meets up with Ross outside his office and the two walk side by side through the squad as she fills him in on their progress. Bobby is at desk, with his cell phone open and whispering to whoever is on the other end. "Captain, Christine does have her own money, she didn't shoot him herself she hired someone, the problem is we don't know who. She is not some dumb blonde she is very bright and she has done a marvelous job of covering up the money trail."

"Where does her money come from?"

"Her father, he won a Vermont state lottery in 1995, ten million dollars. He died three years ago, before she married Lester, he left her and her siblings two million dollars each."

"You would think she would be happy with that, he was what 74 years old?"

"Yes he was but healthy as a horse and if she left the marriage she would get squat."

"She signed a pre-nup with those conditions? I thought you said she was bright."

Alex shrugs her shoulder, "Maybe at the time she thought she was in love." She sits down at her desk as Bobby closes up the phone.

"There is always a money trail," Ross says. "Find it."

A frown shows on Bobby's face, "Everything alright?" Alex asks with concern.

He looks up and nods, "Yeah as well as it can be." He immediately stands, "I'll be back in a while, need to do something."

"Oh ok," she says somberly watching him as he leaves the room.

**Two Hours Later**

Alex asks, "Everything ok?" As Bobby returns to his desk, a nod is his only reply.

"Anything new," he pulls out his chair, "About Christine and her conspirator?"

"No, she doesn't seem the type to know people of that quality."

He opens his case, "Maybe she has a boyfriend and he did the deed. You know that some guys will do anything for love and money."

**Later that Evening**

Alex hears the sound of rustling paper and looks up over the computer screen as her partner stands, sorting through papers, "Bobby what are you doing?"

"It's after six. I'm leaving." He says sharply, she watches him as he stuffs some papers into his case and zips it up.

Frowning she asks, "Don't you want to finish this?"

He rubs his face. "If you what to spend your night going through all this shit go ahead. I'm leaving."

"Bobby?" she says as a look of confusion shows on her face. 

"What?" he says sounding irritated. 

"Don't snap at me, I'm just a little surprised that's all." 

He walks to the side of her desk, "Sorry, I'm sorry." He bends down speaking softly, "Alex it's just a job. Look at it this way." She turns her head and they catch each other's eye, "The guy will still be dead tomorrow." He straightens up, giving her a slight wave. "Goodnight." 

"Yeah goodnight," she sits back in the chair tossing her pen on the desk. "Wow, what the hell? What's with him?"

**Hennessey's Bar **

Wiping up the water ring made from the beer mug, the bartender asks, "Bobby, ready for another?"

Bobby downs the rest of the drink and sets the glass on the bar, "Yeah Fred, sure."

"Good evening Detective," she says with a sultry tone. 

He slowly turns his head to the sound of a familiar voice, coming face to face with Christine Walker, "Misses Walker," he holds up his drink. "Good evening to you." Bobby scans the room, "Are you here alone?"

"Yes I am," she sets her glass down on the bar as she steps up onto the stool. "Except for Henry, my driver, who is waiting outside."

Fred, the bartender, returns with Bobby's drink, giving his friend a quick wink, Bobby has to smile. Chuckling he says, "You're driver." He turns his attention to her, "Ok I'm impressed."

"I wouldn't think something like that would impress you."

Raising his eyebrows, "You're right I'm not impressed it seems a little ostentatious to me."

She takes a quick sip of her drink, "I thought so. An honest one, very refreshing, Detec…." She sets her glass down, "Robert or do you prefer Bobby or Bob."

"Bobby is fine."

Taking in his form, she focuses on his eyes, "You look like a Bobby, the name fits you."

"Thanks," he finds himself focusing on her appearance as well, her shoulder length blonde hair, glistens in the light and her soft blue eyes are dazzling, however sad. 

The bartender returns, "You ready for another, Ma'am?"

"Yes I am, how about you Bobby?"

"No not just yet, thank you," he says as he stirs the ice cubes in the glass with a straw. "This place seems a little, oh how shall I say this, beneath you."

She laughs, "No I've always enjoyed this place, my friends and I would come here," she pauses. "When I had friends," she says softly. "They would have a band set up in that corner."

"Yes I remember that." 

The room suddenly fills with music and they laugh, "Want to sit in a booth?" He asks.

Nodding her head, "Yes I would," he helps her off the stool. "Oh my, a gentleman, I must say my thoughts of police officers have been a little short sighted."

"I suppose that's a compliment however I must say that I have met a few cops who could very well give you that impression." She turns to retrieve her drink from the bar, his hand is already on the glass, "I got it," he follows her through the crowd.

She slides in first; he hesitates for a minute, _next to her or across?_ He steps forward, _across_. He slides in and places her drink down. 

"Your partner, have you been partners long?"

"Going on eight years, she has taught me a lot and vice versa. She is very bright and has a big heart and….I like her. I think the feeling is mutual, no." Nodding his head, "The feeling is mutual."

"I was going to ask if you were married but something tells me I already know the answer to that," she takes a quick sip of her drink. "The job, same as Lester," she leans forward. "Did you know….oh you probably do that I was his first wife."

"Yes I knew that, I was a bit surprised. In our research we uncovered that you were born in Vermont, do you see your family?"

"No, after my father died my brother and sister, seem to have more interest in their own….no I'll be honest I feel the same way. We were never close. When my father won that money, he gave each of us five hundred thousand dollars to do as we wished, we thought we'd be happy but nothing changed, in fact we became even more distant." She picks up her drink, setting it down quickly, "I wear expensive clothes, I've traveled all over the world, met famous people and here I am sitting in a bar…." She looks up at him and he flashes a warm smile. 

"With a lowly cop," he takes a sip of his drink. "Believe me I'm not insulted."

"I wasn't going to say that." He raises his eyebrows, "No really Bobby, I wasn't," smiling at him as she places her hand on top of his.

He looks down, his first thought move it away, he decides to leave it where it is, "I believe you, Christine."

"Yes I am sitting in a bar but the night is turning out a little….a lot better than I thought." She finishes her drink. "I may have over 15 million dollars to my name one day but I've lost my friends, my friends that I could come to places like this with," opening her bag she removes a tissue, she gently wipes her eyes. "Thank you, it's nice to have someone to talk too."

"I came in here with pretty much the same thought, been a bad week for me."

"I'm listening."

"Let me just say that it's my Mom and leave it at that."

She sits back in the seat, "Problems with her?"

"She always has a problem," he chuckles softly. "Usually I can deal with it and let it go but not this time." Before she can inquire further, he steers the conversation back on her, "I must admit Christine that I honestly can't figure you out, which is usually an easy thing for me to do. I have to ask. Why in hell would you get together with a….?"

"A son of a bitch, yes as a business man Lester was a tyrant, but as a husband, he was…."

Bobby interjects, "Wealthy."

"I loved him, why it is so hard for people to believe that I loved him," she covers her face with her hands. "He used me, he wasn't capable of returning that love, he played a game and I was his whore." She immediately leaves the booth and jogs to the bathroom. 

He rubs his forehead_, Man this guy used everyone_. A waitress steps up to the table, breaking his thought, "Another drink Sir?"

"Huh?"

"Would you care for another drink?" He picks up his glass, staring straight ahead, the alcohol is starting to take effect, "No, bring me a ginger ale and a combo platter."

Noticing the empty glass, "How about the lady, would she like another drink?"

"I…." She returns, fresh makeup but her eyes are red. "Ma'am would you care for another drink?"

Nodding her head, "Yes….gin and tonic." She resumes her seat, "You're still here? I thought you'd have been halfway home by now after that scene, I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about, I understand that feeling of being lied to by someone you love." 

The waitress returns setting down the glasses, she notices the carbonated drink, "Ginger ale?"

"Yeah, I also ordered some food," he leans forward. "I thought that we should have something to eat." 

"You're probably right," she hesitates. "Just not hungry," once again the tears start, "I'll be right back," she says sobbing.

She returns as the waitress places the platter on the table. She sits next to him this time and he slowly slides to the left. "I can't stop crying, not sure if it's for me or Lester. He was a bastard but no one deserves to die like that." Looking over the assortment of food, she picks up a zucchini stick, setting it down quickly. She picks up her gin and tonic and after three sips it's gone. "I haven't been eating well, since I found…." She rubs her eyes, "I'm running out of tissues again, he….Oh God it was horrible, every time I walk into that house I see him lying there in that pool of blood." 

"I'm sorry that must have been awful for you. I'm ashamed to admit this but after all these years of visiting crime scenes I forget how it must feel, especially to see someone you love."

She grabs his hand, resting her head on his arm, he fidgets a bit and she looks up. He leans in and she lifts her head to meet his lips, he bolts up. "Sorry, I'm sorry…I had no…."

Her hand comes to lay on his thigh, "Don't apologize, it was unexpected but I'm not complaining." Moving her hand from his thigh to the back of his neck, she pulls him forward. 

They leave the bar quickly, Henry spies his employer and opens the passenger door, she and Bobby get in and Henry closes the door.

**TBC**


	18. Decisions

**Chapter Eighteen**

**Decisions**

**The Next Morning**

The elevator door opens to the eleventh floor, Alex muddles through the squad, anxious for her coffee. She stops and has a quick exchange with Nola. Too much of her surprise her partner is not at his desk, quickly scanning through the room she frowns, _he left early last night and this morning he's late? Well for him anyway._ Greeting a few fellow detectives as she walks toward her desk_, things were going well and now he's acting_…. "Morning," he says as he walks past her.

"Ah….yeah good morning," she says as she follows him, crossing her arms she stands next to him as he sits. "Are you alright?"

He looks up as he hands her a cup of coffee, "Yes, why do you keep asking me that?"

She takes the cup, "Thanks, ah no reason." _Weird, face it Alex, the guy can be very weird. _She smiles, _everyone is entitled to a little weirdness occasionally_. He notices her staring_. But he is also very sweet and he looks very nice in that suit_, she shakes her head_, Gees Alex get a grip. _This time he asks, "Are you alright?"

She pats his shoulder, "Yes, I'm alright," taking a long deserved sip of coffee.

Once again, they start the day sorting through notes and deciding their plan of action. After an afternoon of interviews, they return to the squad and take over one of the side offices. Alex begins to sort through some papers as the door to the office opens. Ross stands in the doorway for a moment before entering. The frown on his face causes Alex to twitch, "Something wrong Captain?" She asks keeping her head down.

He closes the door softly then pulls out a chair and sits between them, clasping his hands, staring straight ahead, "Am I mistaken but didn't the two of you say yesterday that Christine Walker was slowly becoming your number one suspect in murder of her husband."

Alex can feel his stare she nods, "Yes," she looks up as she answers, setting down a folder, "That's an odd question Captain, has something happened?"

"So you haven't changed your mind?"

"No Captain, I haven't."

He turns his gaze from Alex to Bobby. "What about you Detective?"

"Maybe," Bobby says refusing to make eye contact with Ross.

"What?" Alex exclaims.

"Well that may answer my question Goren," he glances at Alex. "I could ask your partner to leave but I think she should hear this." He pauses. "Last night at Hennessey's you were seen in the company of Christine Walker or should I say the merry widow."

"Are you spying on me?" Bobby asks staring straight ahead.

"I didn't say it was me. Someone told me this morning. They said and I quote that the two of you were very friendly and that you left the bar together."

Alex glances at her partner; he has a blank stare on his face. Not moving her eyes she asks, "Captain, are you joking? Bobby?" She asks with a quizzical tone.

Ross tries desperately to maintain eye contact with him, "No. It's not a joke, is it?" Bobby fidgets slightly in the chair, "Did you sleep with her?" Ross asks.

Bobby tosses the slip of paper he has in his hand and it floats down to the middle of the table, "That's none of your damn business." Bobby answers abruptly.

"That is where you are wrong Detective." Ross leans forward, "It is my business. A suspect in a murder case and the detective investigating that murder, oh it's my business all right. Do I have to ask you again?"

He sits back in the chair, "No I didn't sleep with her," he says sardonically.

"Oh so now we're going to play word games?"

Alex squirms in her chair holding her hand to her mouth; her mind is racing with scenarios of why and how? Ross says, "Eames if you want to leave, go on."

"No," she answers sharply.

"Did you have sex with her?" An eerie silence overtakes the room, "Detective…."

He raises his head and a smirk crosses his face.

"You think this is funny?"

"I should probably say no, but…………"

"Three days I don't want to see you around here for three days." Ross stands, "And in that time your partner will have the task of filling in two new detectives on this case, omitting every piece of evidence you uncovered regarding Christine Walker." He turns and grabs for the doorknob.

Bobby raises his voice. "It's not exactly the crime of the century; come to think of it I don't think it is a crime."

Ross turns abruptly with a scowl on his face, "Four days make it four days."

Bobby puts his hands behind his head, laughing, "That's ridiculous and so are you."

"Five days do you want five days?"

"What am I in high school?"

Ross leaves the room without responding. Bobby takes quick glances at Alex whose stare is intense, clearing her throat she speaks. "Were you drunk? Because if you were," she pauses. "Maybe then I could understand."

He bows his head down shaking it slightly.

"My God how? Why? I….I never thought….How could you do something so irresponsible. I'm ashamed of you."

"Am I supposed to say something?"

"An explanation would be nice the attitude I can do without."

"I'm sorry if what I did affected you I didn't mean for it too."

"Alright I can accept that," she leans forward. "But why?"

"It happened. I did something impulsive. I did what I wanted without analyzing it to death."

"You can do better than that Bobby."

He rubs his face, "She….she is very attractive and I was feeling really shitty and she made the first move and I didn't turn her away."

"You never thought that she was just playing you?"

"Why? Because someone that beautiful could never be interested in someone like me."

"I didn't say that," she pauses. She stands and rests her hands on the table as she bends down. "Oh you are good."

He looks up at her and smiles, "Nothing, I have nothing. It just happened, can't something just happen? I didn't plan it….I'm sorry I suppose I thought no one would ever find out. But of course, such is my life." He sits back in the chair, staring at the ceiling. "I remember something she said to me last night; I thought you and your partner believed I killed my husband."

"Did you tell her that we did?"

Nodding his head, "Yes I did. Then she asked me, what if I did?"

"What did you say?"

"I said. I don't care."

"What? What are you saying?"

"I don't care, Alex." He sits up, "I really don't care. I can't do this anymore. I'm just so tired of it. I feel like a hamster in one of those wheels, you keep going around and around."

"What about justice."

"Justice?" he scoffs. "Nicole Wallace is free, they had to release Jonathan and look what…The names change and the faces change but it's the same thing and no matter how hard we work or how many hours we put in they just keep hurting each other. Do you think we'll ever get a day off?"

"I don't think so."

"Lester Walker, what were the words that everyone used to describe him, son of a bitch."

"It is true that most of the people we talked to seemed to be happy the guy was dead."

He slaps the table with his hand, "Exactly, so why in the hell should I work day and night trying to find his killer," he pauses, "I don't care," he says sternly.

"You really mean that, don't you?"

He looks away and nods his head, "Yes I do."

She sits down next to him, "Come on." She taps his arm, "My treat, let's go for a drink. "We need to talk and," she looks around the room. "I don't want to talk here."

"You'll have to drive, my car is in the shop," he opens the door for her. "I took a cab this morning, damn those fares are high."

"Where should we go," she asks as he pushes the button on the elevator.

"Finnegan's is fine, I know that's where you want to go, park at your place, we can walk there and that way we can have a few."

**Finnegan's**

The waitress sets down their drinks and they thank her, they lift their glasses, "Oh that tastes good" Alex says. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing in particular, just the past fifteen years of my life."

She chuckles, "That's nothing in particular? What about them?"

"Exactly, what about them," he says sadly. "Just a big waste, I'm no different then I was fifteen years ago. Nothing, I have nothing, no wife no kids." He exhales loudly.

"What do you want to do disappear somewhere and never come back? I'd miss you; your Mom would miss you." The smile she flashes turns into a frown when she sees a tear in his eye. He notices her stare and turns his head away. "Bobby," Alex says softly as she touches his hand. "What is it?"

"She's dying," he says with his head down. "She has cancer and she's dying." Alex squeezes his hand. "Oh my God Bobby I'm so sorry, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

He just shrugs his shoulder. "She couldn't just fall asleep one night and not wake up; she has to go through this." He places his hand on his chest, "I have to go through this. I don't know if I can. I'm not sure I have the energy."

"Does she know?"

"Yeah, there is a smidgen of hope but at her age…."

"You're going to abandon her now?"

"I...I don't...You know what I've been thinking about the past few days, I know I'll be there for her, where was she that day when I needed her? The day I needed my parents, where were they, self absorbed with their own crap." He picks up a napkin and wipes his eyes; Alex links her arm in his.

"If the day was different would you have told them what happened?"

"I shouldn't have had to….they were my parents," he pounds the table with his fist. "I was their son they should have know something was wrong." He wipes his eyes again, "Shit I sound like a little kid."

"No you don't," she squeezes him gently. "A little boy stood in the doorway of his kitchen and he was very scared and the two people in the world who should have stopped heaven and earth to help him and to comfort him continued their stupid, idiotic argument. You have every right to feel the way you do." He lifts his head slowly, brushes his finger across her cheek. "Thank you," she says unexpectedly.

"What?"

"For sharing that with me, not going off somewhere and leave me to wonder why."

Picking up his glass he takes a long sip, "When I was in the hospital this nurse, you know the one with the needles." Alex nods her head and smiles, remembering. "I woke up to her singing this song that my Mom would sing to me when I was about 5 or 6 years old." He gets very quiet.

Alex nudges him, "What was the song about?"

"It's just a silly little song about God taking you by the hand and showing you the world and when you're little your imagination goes wild." He says excitedly. "I loved that song." He looks away from her. "That was it."

"What do you mean?"

"That was it, nothing special, ever again." He says solemnly. "Are you hungry?" The sudden subject change startles her, "I'm getting hungry."

Alex grabs a napkin from the table and dabs her eye, "Now that you mention it I could eat."

"I'll order some munchies, is that alright?"

"Yeah that sounds good."

A comfortable silence takes over as they eat, they order one more drink. Placing his chin on his hand he looks into her eyes. "You're very cute."

She looks up and smiles, "So are you."

He laughs, "Yeah in this light right? Have a few more drinks."

She laughs as she lightly slaps his arm. "Well was it worth it?" He lets out a small chuckle. Alex leans forward as a silly smirk crosses his face. "Wait a minute, that face, you're not ashamed or...you and her," this time she hits his arm. "You didn't do anything."

Nodding his head in agreement, "I was helping her to the car. She had a bit too much to drink and before I left to go home she asked me to sit in the car for a minute. She apologized and thanked me for the conversation."

"But why? Why let Ross think that….

"Alex I never admitted that I did anything," he wags his finger at her. "You two assumed that I did. Besides did he ask me, what we talked about? No. Did he ask me what she had to say? No, he accused me; he already had his mind made up about what he thought happened, so let him think it."

Shaking her head, "One of these days Bobby, one of these days I will understand that mind of yours." She bows her head, "I did the same thing, I'm sorry."

"It's alright, I should have told you sooner." He suddenly starts to laugh heartily, "Did you see that vein in his temple, man I thought it was going to burst."

Nodding her head, "Yes I saw it, it caught my eye." She begins to laugh, "So I suppose you're feeling better?"

"A little," he takes a hold of her hand, pulling her foreword kissing her cheek. She looks into his eyes and smiles. He leans in and kisses her neck. Without turning away, she says, "We better not."

He shrugs his shoulders as he stands, holding out his hand. "Come on," she takes his hand. "Let's get out of here."

They start their walk back to Alex's, her cell phone rings, "Eames," nodding her head as she listens to the caller. "Yes Sir I was going to do that in the morning."

Bobby raises his eyebrows, "Hang up on him."

Alex covers the phone, "Shhh," she holds her finger to her lips. "Yes Sir, I'm here." She suddenly stops, "You're kidding, yes, yes of course I'll see you in the morning." She closes up the phone.

"What did he want?"

"Remember George Williams?"

"Yeah, sure he was one of Lester's many, many former partners."

"Well his lawyer called Ross and tomorrow morning he and his lawyer have something to tell the world."

"He wants to confess?" he says surprisingly.

Nodding her head, "Yes he does."

"Damn."

They realize they have arrived in front of Alex's apartment. She invites him in. "Want another drink?"

"No I've had enough." She turns around quickly and he is standing in front of her. He holds her face in his hands and kisses her deep. He breaks the kiss and she puts her arms around his neck. "We'll hate each other in the morning, won't we?"

"Hate may be a little strong but we won't be able to look at each other the same way again."

He smiles then lightly kisses her lips. "You want to know something."

"What?"

"I love you."

She caresses his cheek. "I love you too."

"When Ross confronted me, I….you were….I was hoping you'd tell me to go to hell or that I was a pig or something then it would have been easy for me to leave but you didn't. I was feeling a little sorry for myself, but there is something that I was very, very wrong about."

She takes a hold of his hand leading him further into the room, "Oh and what is that?"

"The last fifteen years have not been a waste since I've had you in them," after a quick hug, he wishes her goodnight. Leans down and kisses her cheek, "I'll see you next week."

"You're coming back then."

"If only for the fact that you're my partner, yeah I'll be back."

"Behave yourself for the next three, no four days."

"When he said five did he mean five?" He scratches the back of his head, "I'd better call and find out."

"You better call and apologize." She says as she follows him to the door.

"Hmm, yeah that too," he laughs.

"Goodnight Bobby."

"Goodnight Alex," he turns to face her resting his hand on the doorknob. "Thanks." He opens the door then suddenly stops. "Can I get a cab in this neighborhood?"

"No, I'll call for one." She walks across the room into the kitchen. Shaking her head and smiling as she picks up her phone. _I have to say one thing about you Bobby Goren you're never boring. I couldn't even imagine my life without you in it. And damn what a kiss._

**THE END**


End file.
